


Only if... Even if

by orchidwai_hunho



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Drama & Romance, M/M, Revenge, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:45:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 46,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12699528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orchidwai_hunho/pseuds/orchidwai_hunho
Summary: Jung Jaehyun;-Traveller-20 years old-Family owns a company in Music IndustryDong Si Cheng;-Deaf Musician-19 years old-Owns a house, earns for meal by street performanceJaehyun is in HongKong for the first time. The last thing he expected is that he would be attracted to the street performer. But he did. When he found out there is a history between his best-friend and his love...





	1. Uno

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever #jaewin story. comment juseyo T_T  
> OrangexLemon CROSS is love

Day 1 in HK [Friday]

“Bu Hao Yi Si.”

I quickly said sorry in Chinese to the lady. I was so immersed in taking the picture of the view so I didn’t notice that I was in the way of the lady who is holding the hand of her son.

She just gave me the what-the-hell-is-with-this-foreigner eye and passed.

 

I was trying to be polite because I am not local and it must be too obvious. Maybe it’s because of the camera around my neck.

The night is getting darker and the streets get busier. I took Trams. The 5 star hotel I am staying is just on the route. I review the pictures I took as the comforting night wind runs against me. I closed my eyes and feel the wind. But then, the sound of violin...

 

The music forced me to open my eyes. Not because it is noisy but because it is exhilarating.

 

It’s like, can you describe music with words? NO.

I tried to look at the origin of the sound and I found the crowd. I saw one girl dressing up like a fairy and another one with a mask and a hat, playing the violin. It must be him.

I have never heard this song. Did he compose it himself? The hat and the mask hide his face completely.

I could only get off at the end of the route. What a pity.

I really wanna meet him.

Such a talent.

 

But the Trams did not wait. It went on.

Jaehyun sleeps with a mental note that he will find this musician tomorrow. Definitely.

 

Day 2 in HK [Saturday]

Jaehyun saw him again. Actually, it’s not completely coincidental. Jaehyun almost spend his whole evening to find that musician. Maybe yesterday was too dark Jaehyun did not notice that boy’s hair is red. Now that he saw that violinist up-close, the red-hair violinist is really cute.

 

Jaehyun can't help it.

The tune.

The tempo.

The music.

And the person emoting it. How could one person looked so angelic? So beautiful. He knew what he prefer since 14 and it wasn't start with a 'V'. He just confirmed it again with the person in front of him, playing with the strings on the violins as well as the strings in his heart. That redhead is playing the violin to his content, enchanting everyone around him with both of his eyes closed. Even with his eyes closed, that person managed to shake his heart.

He just god only one wish.

He wished to see those eyes.

 

And when the redhead open his eyes, that’s when he felt his heart got ripped out of his chest. His heart was stolen right in front of his eyes in bright daylight, wait, it’s dark now. ANYWAY. He’s dead gorgeous.

Jaehyun tried to speak but nothing came out. He is staring at the angel with red hair in front of him. He detested the crowd that is in the way of him and his angel and at the same time he felt the pride and respect. That redhead maybe performing on stage but his music is priceless.

 

“Excuse me.” Jaehyun proceed to the front.

People are starting to go away since the music ends. There’s this adrenaline rush Jaehyun doesn’t know where it comes from.

“Nihao (Hi).” It took a lot of nerve just to say this word.

Those eyes again. The redhead looked at Jaehyun with questioning eyes. Jaehyun doesn’t know what he should say and his big limitation on chinese phrases doesn’t help.

 

Jaehyun gave the violinist one hell of two big thumbs. Wherever he might be, the universal language always helps.

He smiled. He is really beautiful. Jaehyun doesn’t know a man could be this beautiful.

“You are very talented.” English came out of Jaehyun mouth naturally. Jaehyun looked expectantly at the redhead. He doesn’t know what did he expect but he wonder what would an angel sounded like.

But a smile is all he get. The redhead pay no more attention to Jaehyun as he put his violin in the bag, getting ready to go home.

 

Jaehyun doesn’t know what else to say. He wished the redhead would say something to him, anything would be great. But he did not even get a goodbye glance from him.

He just left.

Just like that.

 

Day 3 in HK [Sunday]

The only thing in his mind is the redhead.

Jaehyun can’t think of other things to do except going to see his angel. But it is still too early. Jaehyun looked at outside view from his hotel balcony. Thanks to his friend who is older than him by a year, Johnny who owns the hotel chains over 10 countries, Jaehyun got to stay in 5 stars hotel a suite without charges. He could order room service and it’d be FOC.

 

He went out but not to go sightseeing but to find the violinist. He cursed at himself for his stupidity. Why didn’t he follow and find out where the redhead lives? Tomorrow is his last stay in HK and he hadn’t visited to a lot of places he planned. He will have to go back to Seoul tomorrow’s night.

Jaehyun did not know how many kilometers he walked to find his angel. He knew it’s not wise but it’s the only option in this desperate times.

Seemed like luck is not on his side today.

The sun rests. The sky darkened. But the red-hair violinist never appeared.


	2. Two

Day 4 -the last day- in HK [Monday]

It’s noon when Jaehyun woke up. He ended up being in a bar last night. He looked up at the ceiling but all he saw is the red-hair guy with a violin.

I should have talk to him. I should have take him to a drink. Jaehyun regretted the fact that he just left without trying to talk to the redhead.

He looked at his phone and saw Johnny’s texts and miss call. He looked at the texts which are nothing more than jokes and confirmation about his return to Seoul tonight flight. He did not want to go back, not yet. But I can’t tell Johnny about my lovestruck in Hong Kong, can I? Or should I?

Just when he is thinking, a call came in.

“Hey.” Jaehyun picked up Johnny’s call. He smiled. They are called ‘soulmate’ for nothing.

“Rough night?”

Of course Johnny knows. He always knows.

“Yeah, a bit. I drink a little too much last night.”

“Someone is having fun.” Johnny said with a laugh which also made Jaehyun laughed along.

“No. It’s not like that.”

 

Johnny did not miss a beat. He knew when someone is hiding something.

“So, what are you not telling me?”

“What?” Jaehyun is truly shocked. He thought he is not that obvious.

“There is something you are not telling me.” Johnny doesn’t ask the question. He speaks a statement.

“No, it’s not. I mean, I am not hiding it from you. I’m just embarrassed about it.” Jaehyun knew Johnny won’t see his face but he felt the heat rising in his face.

“Interesting. Tell me.”

“Not yet, Johnny. I just woke up.” Jaehyun groaned inwardly. That’s so Johnny. He just won’t leave it.

“Nope. It has to be now. Spill it, Jay.” Jay is Jaehyun’s English name and Johnny occasionally used it.

“I met someone.”

“Already? Wow.”

“No. It’s not like that.” Jaehyun said it for second time. The way Johnny putting it is like… Jaehyun felt the heat is spreading to his entire body. “He is a street performer. He’s so… I don’t know. I never felt like that you know? It’s very lame when I told you like that. We hadn’t even shared a conversation. It’s… I can’t stop thinking about him.” Just when he’s talking about the redhead, the image of his long and pretty fingers playing violin flashed in his head again.

“Ha!”

“Say something.” Jaehyun couldn’t stand the silence. He felt like a teenager, horny and sensitive.

“Go wash up. Stop fantasizing about him in your bed.”

“I am not.” That’s the lie and Johnny knows it.

 

“I want to extend my trip here.”

“Sure, how much longer?”

“I don’t know.” Jaehyun wished he could explain how he felt. He wished he could. But it’s his very first time. He only knew he wanted. He doesn’t know the reasons.

“What do you mean you don’t know? Are there a lot of places left?”

“Actually,...”

“What?” Screw it.

“I want to meet him again.” Jaehyun bared himself. He says out the very honest words of his feelings.

“I don’t follow. You want to extend your trip because of someone you met on the streets?”

“I know it sounds crazy but I want to bring him to Seoul. He has such angelic voice. As soon as he finished performing, I got all planning in my mind.”

“Nah, it doesn’t sound crazy. It is crazy, man. Stop it. If you wanna fuck him, go for it. I totally support. But this? How would he trust some stranger and follow to other countries? Fine, let’s say he agrees. What about your parents? You know your mother.”

“I know. But…” He felt de-energised. Johnny is the only friend he trust to confide in. Johnny is the only one that listens to him, support him no matter what. This Johnny is now disapproving and saying it is crazy.

“Jaehyun, I don’t want you to disappoint. You should just come back.”

“You’re right. Maybe I should.” Jaehyun sighed out loud.

Johnny know this is not the end. Johnny knows about Jaehyun too much to believe he would give up just after a few conversation.

“So you are returning today right?”

“Johnny…”

“Ok, ok. I won’t push you. Come back when you want to. But keep this crazy idea to yourself. Ok? I miss you.”

Jaehyun smiled. Hearing someone you care about says he missed you before hanging up makes you smile regardless of all the shitty things happening around you.

“I miss you, too.” Jaehyun hangs up with a smile on his face. Johnny is his best friend. He wants to listen to Johnny but… he also needs to see the redhead.

 

Maybe the God above is listening to his wish well. After acting like a proper tourist going place to place to check his bucket-list, Jaehyun returned to his hotel. He is pretty much worn out. His leg hurts from too much walking. He is hungry. He only had lunch and it felt like ages ago. He is about to call room-service in but the redhead is there, playing the violin like his life depended on it. It’s better without the fairy next to him. He is like telling the audience about his sadness. The music speaks louder than words.

 

After the play, everyone clears out gradually, one by one. Jaehyun is only one left with the redhead. He pays no attention to Jaehyun as he sat down, take a rest. The redhead must have felt the eyes on him so he looked up and their eyes met.

Jaehyun find desperately for the hint of remembrance in the redhead eyes. Sadly, he found none. It’s just two seconds at most. The redhead advert his eyes to anywhere in particular. Jaehyun walks towards him with his heart beating a little faster than usual and his hands sweating.

“Hi.” He attempts at English. He still is not confident in his Chinese. Actually, his Chinese sucks. The redhead smiles.

Jaehyun put down the bottle of beer down next to him. He bought it twice the amount from nearby restaurant. It should only cost him 9$ but he spent 20$ for it.

“You’re very talented.” Jaehyun continued with English. He doesn’t know what he expected but not an awkward smile. The redhead did smile once at his direction. A smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He doesn’t even looked at Jaehyun’s eyes.

 

“What do I do.” Jaehyun mattered in Korean which he thought is safe. Some street performer in Hong Kong wouldn’t know Korean. Well, that’s what Jaehyun thought.

“I am deaf.” It is Korean. HE IS SPEAKING KOREAN TO HIM THAT HE CAN’T HEAR.

Jaehyun froze at his eyes wide in surprised. Now the redhead is looking at him with an understanding smile. Jaehyun quickly change his expression as he sat down next to him.

“I… You no listen?” Jaehyun speaks his best Chinese to the redhead. His genuine interest and attempt got him laugh. A song of heaven. Jaehyun thought.

“You can speak Korean. I can read lips.”

The thought that this redhead is going to focus on his lips while he talked made him lick his lips nervously.

“Are you some kind of music genius? But more importantly, are you Korean? How can you speak Korean? You… How? Are you from Korea? But your accent is not Korean.”

“Slow down. Or I won’t know what you are talking.” The redhead still looked at him with care. At his lips.

“You are not Korean, are you?” Jaehyun couldn’t stop looking at his eyes. His eyes looked very young and very innocent like a child. But his laugh is very mature, sexy.

“No, I am not.”

“How did you learn to speak Korean?”

“Why do you care?” The Redhead never stopped looking at me. His eyes never waver. He is small and lean. He looks so young. Jaehyun couldn’t understand those eyes. They aren’t matched his appearance. His stare is deep and dark.

“I… Well, you are very talented. I love to listen to your violin. What do you do?”

“I performed on street.”

“It’s only at night. Are you still in college?”

“You sure are interested in me.” He relaxed his stare and looked at Jaehyun’s eyes. Once Jaehyun speaks, his eyes moved to Jaehyun’s lips again.

“I have my reasons.”

“Other than wanting to fuck me?”

Wow.

“Definitely other than that.” Jaehyun blushed. Could be that? He shook his head. He needs to focus here. He wanted to talk about business not about... He never knew this little redhead would be this direct.

“So you are not wasting your precious time with a deaf person because you wanna get laid?”

“No… Of course not… I don’t mean that you are not attractive. You are, actually, very attractive. But, I…”

Jaehyun stopped blabbering as the redhead laughs and stopped paying him attention. Jaehyun stared at the side profile of the violinist. His eyes are really round like a children while his gaze is hot and deep. His mouth is full and pink. His voice is really deep despites of his young appearance. He is really slim and slender and really had fair complexion.

 

“Are you hungry?” Jaehyun’s heart almost stopped at the redhead attention is back on him again. Jaehyun was staring at the redhead so hard that he startled when his eyes are suddenly on him.

“Yes.” Lord knows he’s hungry both for food and him.

At his eager answer, the redhead smirks.

“Follow me.”

Jaehyun can’t believe he is obeying so well. He did not even hesitate. He just stood up and followed like a lost puppy.

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, Second chappie. Hope I am not doing bad. TT


	3. Tres

Jaehyun doesn’t say anything. He is feeling awkward. He never conversed with a deaf person before. He doesn’t know any ASL. He wished he learned it when his mother made him to.

Jaehyun is slightly falling behind.

Jaehyun wanted to ask where are we going? But he doesn’t trust his mouth. I didn’t even know his name yet and I am following him around. Jaehyun smiled hopelessly at his situation.

“My name is Sicheng.”

Jaehyun’s eyes widen in shock.

Can he read mind? No way.

“I can’t read mind. But I am pretty good at guessing what other people are thinking about. And you’re pretty easy to read.”

Sicheng. The name screamed in Jaehyun’s mind. He doesn’t know what it means but it’s meaning must be beautiful, like it’s owner.

“I don’t know if this is compliment or not.” Jaehyun speaks and remembered he is not the sight of Sicheng to read lips.

 

“We are going to a bar.”

Without a glance towards Jaehyun, Sicheng walks towards his destination. He doesn’t look back and expect Jaehyun to follow no matter where.

Walking behind Sicheng, Jaehyun noticed that he’s actually taller than Sicheng. He did not try to walk next to Sicheng. Jaehyun doesn’t know why he likes looking at the back of Sicheng’s head. His hair looked so soft. Jaehyun can’t seem to resist the desire to smell Sicheng’s hair. Jaehyun felt his control is slipping very fast. He quickly stepped faster to fall next to Sicheng.

The look Sicheng gave Jaehyun is like he knew. Jaehyun felt his hand sweating. Jaehyun tried to hide his nervousness.

“I will carry it for you.”

The violin case looked very big and Sicheng is really small.

Sicheng gave Jaehyun a confused look. Jaehyun smiled, showing his dimple.

“You looked tired.” Sicheng did not stop Jaehyun as the case is now on the shoulder of Jaehyun.

Actually, Jaehyun felt his leg is giving out. He wished wherever Sicheng is going, please let it be around the corner.

 

It is actually around the corner.

It was really quiet. There are no people in the bar. Jaehyun suspected if it is closed but someone came out from behind.

Sicheng did not say a word. They are talking to each other with sign language.

“The boss, he can hear. But he can’t speak.”

“Oh.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what is the best response. He knew better than to show his useless sympathy. He just nodded.

Now that they are sitting face to face, and Sicheng is looking at him again, Jaehyun failed at words. He awkwardly looked around the shop. There’s nothing to look. After 5 second, Jaehyun is back to Sicheng again. Even till then, Sicheng gaze is still on him. Jaehyun had never felt this self-awareness before. He regretted that he did not use his favorite cologne.

“There’s only one menu. The boss speciality. Do you like beer?”

“You don’t like beer?”

Sicheng said he can read people easily and it seemed true. He merely hesitated for 2 second, considering whether he should lie or go along with him.

“It’s not that I don’t like beer. I prefer shots and something stronger.”

“Next time then.”

Next time? Jaehyun stare at his own hands. He never knew his hands is this interesting. Jaehyun looked up as someone approached. He felt like he is saved by food. His stomached approved at the sights of food. It looked delicious.

The smell is making Jaehyun hungry. Jaehyun quickly take a bite.

Ok, it is delicious.

He looked up and saw Sicheng is not having any.

“Aren’t you hungry?” He said it while chewing the food. Sicheng smiled. The smile now giving Jaehyun is so soft, Jaehyun felt like he is melting like ice in the desert.

“No. Not anymore.”

“Why? This is so good.”

“I know. You look so delicious.” The gaze Sicheng giving to Jaehyun almost make Jaehyun stopped eating. He is suddenly not hungry. Not for food anymore.

“Huh?”  
“Food. You are eating it so deliciously.”

This is not what he said earlier. Jaehyun stared at his food, taking another bite.

“You know I am kinda disappointed.”

Jaehyun pushed his food a little. He sipped his beer. The air in the room is changing. Jaehyun noticed the little smirk on Sicheng’s lips.

“Why?”

His voice betrayed. I sounded so horny. Jaehyun cursed a little insides.

“When I asked if you’re hungry, I don’t really mean food. Well, right now, I will ask you again. Are you hungry?” Sicheng voice is dangerously low and Jaehyun felt his whole body is reacting to his low voice.

“Answer me.” Now Sicheng is leaning more closer.

“Yes.” Jaehyun closed his eyes. Screw it.

“Good.”

So what do I do next? Why is he sitting there eye-fucking me? Should I make the first move? Jaehyun decided not to move a finger till Sicheng did something other than staring at him. It seemed like the best decision. He stared back. Stare. It’s the only thing he knew how to do right this moment. He stopped trying to look everywhere else. He stared into those eyes of Sicheng.

“Do you want to go somewhere else? There’s a room upstairs that we can use.”

Why is he so calm? Jaehyun felt like he is on fire. He is hard, too. If he doesn’t release soon, he doubt it will be good for health.

“Upstairs.”

“I was hoping the same.” Sicheng smirked. He looked so hot.

 

One night stand. Jaehyun experienced it once. It’s when he’s in college and he’s too drunk to remember. Right now, he is not drunk and it seemed like he will remember it for a really long time.

The room is dark and quiet. Jaehyun swore he could hear his own heartbeats. Sicheng did not waste one second. As soon as the door is closed behind Jaehyun, Sicheng trapped Jaehyun between himself and the door. Jaehyun couldn’t take his eyes off Sicheng. The way Sicheng’s eyes darkened, it sends a shiver down his spine.

“I can’t hear. But I can feel. I can feel the need from you.”

Jaehyun felt his mouth is dry. He’s breathless and Sicheng hasn’t even touched him yet. His lower region is begging for attention but he’s too cowardly to speak.

As if Sicheng is reading his mind, Sicheng hip grinded with his, earning a eager moan from Jaehyun.

“You’re hard.”

Sicheng mouth is so close to his. He could feel Sicheng’s breath on his own face.

I never wanted anyone the way I wanted Sicheng in this moment. Jaehyun’s hip buckled up to find more friction with Sicheng’s own arousal. Thank god, I am not the only one. It is really hot to find out Sicheng is also as hard as him.

How?

Jaehyun doesn’t know but when he noticed, his shirt is gone. Sicheng’s lips are all over him, the neck, the collarbone, the nipple.

“Ah”

Jaehyun can’t help himself anymore. He is up against the cold door. His back is cold while his front is hot being kissed and sucked by Sicheng. How sweet.

“Fuck”

He pinched my nipples. Fuck. Sicheng’s lips are dangerously low. His jeans is unbuttoned.

Please. Please. Please. Blow me. Read my mind. Please.

With Jaehyun’s both hands in Sicheng’s hair, Jaehyun guided Sicheng back to his face. He kissed him. Sicheng took Jaehyun’s dick out and squeezed it in his hands. His other hand, trying to removed his own restrictions.

“GOD. FUCK.”

Jaehyun could no longer care about other people hearing him. It feels so fucking good. Sicheng is taking their dicks together in his hands, quicking jerking off. Jaehyun arched into Sicheng’s magic hands. He felt himself hardening by seconds.

Suddenly, Sicheng went down.

“Oh god.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know anyone who give blowjobs as good as Sicheng. He knows he is not short. Nowhere short but Sicheng is taking all his length into his mouth. The sight of his dick disappearing into Sicheng’s mouth almost made him come.

“I… I can’t hold… fuck. Fuck. fuck.”

Sicheng is GOD. His hips thrusting into Sicheng’s mouth as he came. He thought he could hold but then Sicheng little mouth is sucking a little too hard and Jaehyun fucking lost it.

“I guess it’s good then.” Sicheng came up. His voice is a little hoarse and it’s sexy as hell.

“More than good. The best I had in my entire life.” Jaehyun cupped Sicheng’s face in his both hands, bringing closer and kissed him.

“Do you want to fuck or do you want me to fuck?”

That was it. Something inside Jaehyun is snapped. He took Sicheng by the shoulder and push him on the bed, not so gently.

“I guess I am the lucky one then.”

Sicheng doesn’t seem to mind a bit of roughness as he took off his own shirt. Jaehyun took care of his jeans and quickly turn him so that Sicheng face is not facing Jaehyun but the bed.

Lube wasn’t needed. Two fingers is just about right.

 

Turns out Sicheng is not very vocal. Small whimpers and moans are all Jaehyun could hear. Jaehyun intended to give all the pleasure he could to him. Jaehyun doesn’t like to owe. He definitely pays back and he paid back twice.

 

I'm actually shy T_T


	4. Four

Sicheng opens his eyes. The warmth is still there which is really strange and unfamiliar for him. How nice.

Sicheng smiles when he saw the Korean tourist is staring down at him gently. His heart ached at the gentleness. No one ever he met was as kind as him. Jaehyun has the nicest smile. Sicheng lead a hard life and many people he met are those who smile without their eyes. But not Jaehyun. When Jaehyun’s lips smile, his eyes follow.

“Morning.” Jaehyun speaks. The place Jaehyun’s hand is touching on Sicheng’s face felt hot, like fire. Sicheng stared at those lips. Those perfectly seductive lips. He kissed them. It’s not something he could help. Those lips are just calling out for his lips. Everything about Jaehyun is erotic.

“Morning.” Sicheng pulls back and Jaehyun’s smile deepened showing his dimple.

His dimple. GOD. Sicheng wished he could lick Jaehyun’s dimple all day all night.

Last night was one of the best nights Sicheng ever had. The way Jaehyun took him rough and not feeling apologetic during but after. Jaehyun tells him his name before falling asleep. Last night, after sex, Jaehyun took care of him, handle him like he is the most sensitive and the most tender thing in the world shook his heart.

 

“Are you hungry?” Jaehyun asked. Sicheng blinked. Jaehyun is still half-naked and right next to him. His skin looked soft and flawless. And asked me if am I hungry? Damn. Erotic.

“Yes. I need to eat you.”

Within a flash, Sicheng is on top of Jaehyun. He started kissing along Jaehyun’s jaw, slowing moving to his ears. Sicheng flicked the tongue against the earlobe, gaining the vibrating moans from Jaehyun.

Jaehyun said something but Sicheng couldn’t quite follow. It doesn’t matter. Jaehyun might be pleading or calling hundreds times of his name. Sicheng didn’t move away from Jaehyun’s ears yet. He nipped and nipped on it. Sicheng doesn’t need to hear to know if Jaehyun likes it. Jaehyun’s hip thrust upward, trying to gain pleasure. He likes it.

 

“Wait. W-wait. Ahhh. Talk. We. Ahhh, Sicheng, we need to talk.”

Jaehyun’s pants is now long gone. Sicheng is working on their groin grinding together, making a mess of Jaehyun.

“Talk. Talking is useless. I will make you feel good.”

“S-stop. I am not here for sex.”

That stopped Sicheng. He is not here for sex? Sicheng frowned and got off from top of Jaehyun immediately. Sicheng had been reading lips for his whole life. There are times he mistook the english words or chinese words but never Korean. Korean people talks very clearly.

“You are not here for sex? Then what are you doing here? On my bed? Naked?” Sicheng knew he was harsh and regretted it the second he said. But his face doesn’t softened. He glared Jaehyun, trying to make sense of what he just said.

“I am sorry. I approached you because of your music talent. I… You are very attractive. Last night, I should #&@*$((#*” Jaehyun lowered his head. He is being nervous again. Sicheng can’t read lips when the one talking is not looking at him.

“Look at me. Jaehyun. Look at me when you speak. I am deaf. I can’t hear. I can only read your lips.”

“I… I should make my intentions clear. I want to recruit you.”

“Recruit? What do you mean?” Sicheng is putting all his guards against Jaehyun.

“Please, Sicheng. Promise me you will consider what I am about to say. Please don’t reject me right away.” Jaehyun is reaching out Sicheng. His hand touching the other. It’s just the fingers but Sicheng softened a bit.

“Continue. I won’t promise what I could not keep.”

 

“My family owns a company in Korea. It’s in music industry. And I… the first night when I heard you played, it hit me. It hit me right here. You are supposed to be playing for the worldwide population. Not just a few crowds. You’re very talented person both at sex and music. I would like you to consider going to Korea and play songs. Composed songs. Come to Korea with me.”

 

Jaehyun seemed to stop breathing at the moment. He said what he intended to. He looked at Sicheng, meeting his intense stare.

“You do a lot of presentations in school right?”

“What?”

“So you wanted to bring me to Korea?”

“Yes, if you want to come. Yes.” Jaehyun breathed finally.

“What if I reject?” Sicheng felt something inside him is moved. Someone recognizing his passion for music is not something that happens everyday.

“Sicheng…”

“You are not after me for just sex. It’s confusing for me. If I accept your offer, you are gonna be my boss? Am I having an affair with my boss?”

“NO. It’s not an affair. It’s not like that. I… I am not gonna be your boss. It’s true that it is my family company but, no. I am just an heir that likes to travel a lot.”

“Hmm… so you’re rich.”

Sicheng regretted the moment he said it. He did not want to know his family status. Sicheng is not after his money.

“I guess I am lucky to be born in such wealthy family. I will have to take over it one day but not in the near future. So I am not gonna be your boss.”

“So we can continue fooling around each other.”

“Yes, I guess.”

 

Sicheng nods. He moved away from Jaehyun. The offer Jaehyun made is eating him alive.

Come to Korea with me.

Jaehyun said it and mean it. Sicheng went into the bathroom. He closed the door. He needs to be alone. He needs to be away from Jaehyun. He is feeling something more than he should. This should be just a good fuck. A heated night with some stranger.

But why is he thinking like something future-related. It is not like him. He should not even be thinking tomorrow with Jaehyun. Because no matter how much he wished it, there probably be none.

 

The bathroom door is opened from the outside. What the...

“Hey. Sicheng.”

Sicheng felt his body is under inspection. Jaehyun’s eyes moved up and down on him.

“Want to join?”

Sicheng immediately felt the need to be touched. Jaehyun is fully dressed. He did not like the fact that he’s the only one naked. But the way Jaehyun’s eyes are now awkwardly fixed on his eyes made him excited.

“I… I have a plane to catch. My flight is in three hours.”

Whatever hopes Sicheng had for today was crashed down. Well, who told you to hope for something you shouldn’t? Serve me right.

“But… do you need time to think? I can cancel my flight. I… I will just cancel it. We will talk when you finished showering. I… ok. Take your time.”

Before Jaehyun can close the door and escape, Sicheng pulled the clothed-Jaehyun into the shower.

 

“What are you…”

Sicheng cut him off with a heated kiss. Jaehyun is now drenched with water. His back is against the wall. The memories of feeling trapped between the door and Sicheng came back to Jaehyun and he’s instantly hard.

The jeans is gone. Sicheng hand gripped the hardening tip of Jaehyun’s length, pulling it slightly and rubbing the tip with his thumb while kissing the shit out of Jaehyun. What changes, Sicheng himself doesn’t know. He needs to touch, to be touched, he just needs to.

  
Jaehyun forgot everything. His head clouded with pleasure. Sicheng is doing all the work. Jaehyun felt his knees are giving out and he put all his bodyweight on Sicheng.

“I can’t.”

“Let it go.” Sicheng whispered right into Jaehyun’s ears.

“Give it to me. Let it all out.” Sicheng worked on faster and gripped it tighter. Jaehyun hips jerked forward at one final thrust and he came all over Sicheng’s hands.

I think my soul left my body.

“I am going.”

I think my soul come back to my body. Jaehyun quickly looked at Sicheng, see if what it meant.

“To Korea? With me?” Jaehyun felt Sicheng’s hands are leaving his body and the warm shower felt colder.

“I still want to meet you.” Sicheng said something sincere. He did not mean to. It was a piece of his heart which is now belong to Jaehyun.

“Me too. Thank you.” Jaehyun quickly hold Sicheng’s face before Sicheng started to pull away. Jaehyun pressed their lips together and kissed them.

I always wanted to try kissing in the rain. But kissing in shower feels so nice.

Jaehyun let his hands ran into Sicheng’s hair as Sicheng’s lips moved to his throat and to… how sweet. It’s gonna leave a mark.

But the mark is the least of Jaehyun’s concern.

  

everything about Jaehyun is so T_T 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((spoilers))?(no)(notexactly)  
> Taeyong will be added as additional character later...,  
> I'm also thinking about (KUN, TEN, TAEIL, YUTA)   
> EXO's Sehun and Suho will appeared as cameo


	5. Cinco

_A little Payback_

 

“Can we leave just like that?”

Jaehyun and Sicheng are now at the airport with 15 minutes to kill. Jaehyun still cannot believe he could convince Sicheng to come to Korea. It’s just too much like a dream. All the sex with Sicheng made him drain and happy. He’s never been this happy before.

“What do you want to say? Are you thinking how easy am I?” Sicheng with his perfect hair and perfect smirk, eyed Jaehyun.

 

Jaehyun shook his head immediately.

“No. I would never think of you as such.” Jaehyun said it and meant it. Sicheng is not easy at all. Jaehyun knew Sicheng is here only because of his own will, not because of his convincing.

“Good. Because, I am going to Korea because you said I would made a lot of money. I have my sister in coma to support. I left her with my uncle family. You better keep your promise.”

This new information has shocked Jaehyun. Sicheng’s sister is in coma? For how long? Why?

Jaehyun wished he has enough courage to ask.

Instead, Jaehyun replied. “I will.”

 

Even though Jaehyun got them for VIP seats, the trip is still tiring plus, they didn’t get much of sleep yesterday. Now, Sicheng is watching the peaceful Jaehyun who is sleeping, resting his head on his shoulder.

“Why are you so cute?”

“Hmm?”  
Sicheng blinked and swallowed hard. He thought Jaehyun is sleeping.

“Did you say something?”

“No. Nothing.”

Sicheng lied. And glad that Jaehyun did not hear him say that. That really would be embarrassing.

 

Little did Sicheng know, he did not see Jaehyun muttered under his breath.

‘I am not deaf, you stupid.’

Jaehyun felt his stomach is raid by numerous butterflies when Sicheng said that. He acted like he did not hear then he regretted. He saw Sicheng look then. Sicheng is always looking confident. But then, Sicheng looked awkward. Jaehyun felt the heat spreading inside him like fire.

They had left together. Jaehyun sneaked his hand with Sicheng. Sicheng had paused a little to look up at Jaehyun. Jaehyun never glad that he was born with great bones before. Now that Sicheng is looking up at him and he is looking Sicheng back down, his heart warmed as if he is next to the fireplace.

“Jay.”

Jaehyun had looked away from Sicheng. Johnny.

Jaehyun waved at Johnny but never removing his hand from Sicheng.

 

Sicheng doesn’t see anything. He doesn’t hear anything. He saw the memories from 3 years ago. How his sister life was destroyed because of the man in front of him who is smiling, gazing softly at Jaehyun. How his parents’ pride were tear down by hospital bill Johnny’s parents generously hand out. His gazed darkened with rage and hatred.

“Sicheng?” Jaehyun nudge him on the side. Sicheng now realize the hand in front him, waiting for him to shake. He had to shake hand of his enemy.

“Oh, sorry.”

Just as Sicheng met Johnny’s eyes, he understands something. Johnny disliked him. Sicheng suspected something. He suspects and he believes his suspicion as the conversation goes on.

Johnny likes, maybe more than like Jaehyun.

And he found the very opportunity to payback.

* * *

 

New Character Alert

 

 

###  **Johnny**

\- Lives with step-mother and his father

\- His mother is dead 5 years ago.

\- Half Korean-American, (mom is from Chicago)

\- Best friend of Jaehyun since childhood

\- Family business; Hotel Chains (Hongkong, Korea, Japan, Thailand, Singapore) 

\- Secretly in love with Jaehyun

\- Playboy

\- Currently working for the company so, travels a lot

 


	6. Six

“You didn’t say he is in this state!” Johnny hissed into Jaehyun’s ears. That redhead is deaf! What the hell is Jaehyun thinking?!

“What state? You mean he can’t hear? What does it matter?” Johnny is so annoying when Johnny is like this. He can’t just let it go.

“I don’t know what is going on inside your little head.” Johnny said with resigned expression which Jaehyun found intolerable.

“Come on. Even if he can’t hear, he can catch up real fast. He freaking can read lips. How cool is that?”

“What? Which part of this is cool? How…”

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun ran to Sicheng’s side. He don’t want to listen any more of Johnny’s shits.

 

He likes Sicheng. He likes sex with Sicheng. He doesn’t like or doesn’t want to listen when Johnny is dissing Sicheng. Is this what they called protective boyfriend? Boyfriend? What am I even thinking?!

“What are you thinking?” Sicheng’s piercing eyes are now on Jaehyun’s lips which Jaehyun is biting out of nervousness.

“Is it involved your lips on my skin?” Sicheng suddenly whispered right into Jaehyun’s ears, stole a kiss on Jaehyun’s hair.

Jaehyun insteadly is on fire. He felt hot right on the place Sicheng’s lips touched. The fire spreads fast. His whole body is on fire. Shit.

 

While, Johnny witnessed everything from behind.

 

-

“So, where are we going?” Sicheng doesn’t even need to put his own luggage on the car. Everything was taken care of. Money does help in comfort.

“I am taking you to my apartment. I don’t live with my parents. You can stay in my place.” Jaehyun said, relaxing a bit next to Sicheng.

“Or I could just take him to the hotel. There’s spare floor for your family, you know that.” Johnny suggests. He is at front.

“I don’t think it’s good idea to take him to the hotel. He might need help with a lot of things.”

 

Sicheng doesn’t know what is Johnny saying but he can sense Johnny is making Jaehyun impatient. Jaehyun is controlling his face well not to show his real emotions but Sicheng always read people well.

“Your house it is.”

Sicheng’s comment shut Johnny up. Sicheng winked at Jaehyun. It makes Jaehyun think the things he could do to Sicheng but at the front, Sicheng saw and enjoyed how Johnny steamed with rage. Even a fool would see Johnny dislike Sicheng. And everything he said to Jaehyun about Sicheng had been rejected.

Sicheng enjoys every moment of Johnny’s discomfort.

It’s only the beginning.

 

-

Jaehyun really felt the heated excitement when Sicheng said he wanted to stay at Jaehyun’s house. He was afraid that Sicheng would misunderstand this as something else. But Sicheng is being very cool about all this.

Maybe he doesn’t think it is not that serious.

Jaehyun can’t help but blushed when Sicheng winked after his comment. It is 100% Sicheng fault. How could he wink like this and had a straight face?! Jaehyun touched his cheek. He is not sure it’s his hands feeling cold or it’s his face feeling hot.

 

“You live in an apartment?”

Jaehyun felt trapped under Sicheng’s gaze and thanks to Johnny they are not alone in the elevator.

“Yeah. You’re ok with this right?”

“Sure. I didn’t think you might not be this normal.” Jaehyun laughs at this. My mother had gone a little over for interior design. Jaehyun can’t wait to see Sicheng reaction when he saw the insides.

“Well, what did you expect?”

“I don’t know I thought you must have lived in a castle or something. Woah~”

The whole trip to Jaehyun’s apartment, Sicheng never left his eyes on Jaehyun because he doesn’t want to miss anything that Jaehyun says.

 

“Oh my… Am I at the right place? Did we space travel? Woah.”

Sicheng stepped into the living room. The living room, itself is shining like there are thousands of small diamonds around the corners. And there are four doors, Sicheng guessed all of them might lead to mindblowing bedrooms.

Jaehyun took Sicheng’s hand. He did not want to poke Sicheng to get his attention on his lips. That might be a little awkward. So Jaehyun grabbed Sicheng’s hand and took his baggage to the room next to his.

 

Jaehyun put the bag and faced Sicheng who is looking expectantly at Jaehyun.

“It’s mother. When I said I want to move out, she was very against it. Johnny did help a lot with that. I was 19. When she finally agreed, I had to agree to some of her conditions. The interior design is just one of the many.”

“How long have you been friends with him?”

“Johnny? Since forever. Our fathers are work partners, and we became friends naturally.”

Sicheng nodded. He looked away, trying to avoid eye contacts with Jaehyun. Sicheng is afraid that Jaehyun would see it through.

I like you but…

 

“Rest, we are going out tonight.”

Jaehyun left. Sicheng is left alone in the room, with weighted, clouded mind.

 

* * *

Potential characters (to be added)

 

**Taeyong**

- unknown

**Kun**

**-** unknown

**Ten**

**-** unknown

**Taeil**

**-** unknown

**Yuta**

**-** unknown

 

Any suggestions is welcomed :)


	7. [Siete] Casa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casa (Spanish) ; [def] Home

It is a weird feeling.

Sicheng never befriended someone with a motive in mind. He felt this constant guilt whenever Jaehyun blushed because of something he said or did. Because he knew Jaehyun is being sincere. He wished he could be the same. He was the same. Back in Hong Kong, the feelings towards Jaehyun are sincere. But now…

 

“How much more could you still drink?” Sicheng had to said it to Jaehyun’s ears. The bar is loud with music.

“I have a good tolerance level.” Jaehyun winked as he take a shot to prove his point. Sicheng just laughed. Tipsy Jaehyun is fun and wild.

“You guys get along. I am gonna order something to eat.”

As Jaehyun went away from their table, Sicheng’s eyes turned cold as he looked at Johnny.

 

“You can handle some alcohol, right?”

“Sure.” Johnny eyes did not leave Sicheng just as Sicheng. The club is noisy but it’s not that hard to hear what Sicheng is saying. Johnny has to pay attention to know sure what Sicheng is saying.

“So, tell me, why did you decide to come here?”

“Korea? Well, I thought why not?”

“Just like this?”

“Just like this.” Sicheng sipped his drink and move his attention to the crowd.

Johnny smiles humorlessly.

 

“I know Jaehyun could be difficult. We are friends for a long time. He had been like this since young. He always wants something pretty for himself. But when he got it, he got bored. Seeing you, it reminds me of very young Jaehyun.”

Johnny laughed while holding the stares of Sicheng. Sicheng’s expression is hardly changed. He is trying to insult me, huh? Sicheng doesn’t want to give him the satisfaction of achieving his goal.

“I know. But he will have to get bored of me first.” Sicheng’s eyes are challenging Johnny.

“You are not very simple, are you?”

“What do you think?”

 

Sicheng is not backing away. If Johnny wants a fight, he gladly would give him. And Sicheng wished a fight is what Johnny is going after.

“If money is what you’re after, I could court you. You know, it will save you the trouble of pretending that you are here not because of money.” Johnny’s words are rude. But his hands are ruder. One hand on Sicheng’s ass and another at front, feeling him up.

Sicheng tried to pull himself away but the wall is up against him and Johnny is not giving him any space.

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?”

Jaehyun suddenly came back.

Before Johnny could explain, the punch landed on his face.

 

“Jaehyun!” Sicheng enjoyed to see the bloody fight but they are in a bar if Jaehyun is not stopping soon, they are gonna kicked out by the security.

“JOHNNY. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

“Jay! He’s not what you think. He’s a fucking whore who’s after mo…!” Johnny couldn’t finish his sentence since Jaehyun punched him again.

 

“Shut the fuck up! He is mine. He is my guest. You have no right to insult him like that.” Sicheng is holding Jaehyun back but the grip slip and Jaehyun is trying to punch Johnny again. He only heard one word. Mine. He is mine, Jaehyun said.

No one ever try to protect me like that.

“I am saying one last time. If you tried to pull this stunt again, it will not be ended in a few punches.”

“Are you alright?” Jaehyun turned to see Sicheng. His eyes full of worry for Sicheng. Sicheng felt like he is in a daze.

Sicheng could only nod in reply.

“Are you sure you are alright?”

This time, Sicheng managed a verbal reply.

“I am fine.”

Jaehyun really looked into Sicheng’s eyes. Sicheng tried to smile at him. Jaehyun is still mad. He grabbed Sicheng hand and get out of the bar, leaving the Johnny on the floor.

 

The car ride is not easy. Sicheng felt so full. It’s like Jaehyun seemed like a different person or he became a different person all of sudden. He looked at Jaehyun’s clenched fists and tight set of jaw. Jaehyun is mad. Why? For someone like me, why?

“Next time, Johnny does something so much as touch you, punch him. Or call police on him. Don’t tolerate on my account.”

“Jaehyun.”

Sicheng called Jaehyun’s name. Jaehyun looked then. Sicheng did not waste a second. He took Jaehyun’s face in both of his hands. Kissing never meant so much to him. But now, kissing Jaehyun, is a new sensation. Maybe it’s because the car is moving, Sicheng felt drowned. He is falling.

 

Jaehyun did not protest. He did not pause. Jaehyun felt the same. This sudden rise of emotion and desire for Sicheng is too much to handle, too much to understand. Jaehyun did not understand but he gave up trying to. Jaehyun’s hand is on Sicheng’s waist, pulling him close.

A little moan escaped from Sicheng. He felt too needy.

 

“Not now.” Jaehyun had laughed. All the anger from earlier is now gone.

Sicheng winced. He doesn’t care if they are in the car. And doing it in the car would be more erotic. But Jaehyun insisted to wait till they get home.

Home.

It’s a weird word.


	8. Eight

Since that heated kissing moment in car, Sicheng did not try to surprise Jaehyun again. He did not trust himself.

“Sicheng, I can’t wait.”

Jaehyun pinned Sicheng down the door. Jaehyun’s lips are on Sicheng’s own. But Jaehyun pulled himself away from Sicheng immediately when he found out that Sicheng had been crying.

“What… what is wrong? Sicheng?”

Sicheng shook his head. He did not look at Jaehyun. Jaehyun knew Sicheng can’t hear but he speaks anyway.

“Is it something wrong? Is is because of me? Or because of Johnny. Sicheng please look at me. Please tell me what is wrong.”

 

Still, Sicheng did not look up. He hide his head on his knees as he sat down on the floor against the door. Jaehyun had knelt down in front of Sicheng, helpless and no idea how to comfort him.

So he pulled Sicheng into his embrace. Sicheng did not rise his head. When he could compose himself, he get up without giving a glance to Jaehyun. If Jaehyun wasn’t paying all of his attention to Sicheng, Jaehyun wouldn’t hear it.

 

“Thank you.”

It is a soft whisper. A small token of appreciation. For Jaehyun, it means the world.

 

Sicheng close the door behind him. He did not bother to turn on the light. Jaehyun really cared about me. While I… While I am with this other intent. Sicheng shook his head. A tear fall on the pillow.

He knows it is not fair for Jaehyun. But what about his sister? His sweet little sister.

 

It was 3 years ago.

She got herself trouble by falling for the tourist playboy. She knew better. Sicheng’s parents raised them good. But maybe it’s true what they say about love. Love blinded Sicheng’s little sister.

 

She was so crazy about that rich playboy. Whatever sweet lies that playboy fed his sister, she believed them. She believe them all. When he got tired of her, he used the excuse of expiry stay. She wanted to go along with him.

“It’s ok. I will come. I can afford my own living expenses.”

Sicheng heard his sister talking by the phone. He remembered how she got so excited about the idea of going to Korea. But then, one day she got hospitalized. It is when they found out about the baby.

This scared the shit out of that bastard. Of course he did not love him. It was only supposed to be a fling.

 

That bastard did not even have the least decency to come visit her in the hospital. He delivered the bad news by fucking text message. The text is all that needed to drive his sister crazy. It said that he will go back to Korea today’s flight and that she did not need to follow because he did not really love her.

It was the worst day of Sicheng life. That day changed Sicheng. Because her little sister had followed that playboy to beg him to stay. Their parents followed her immediately as soon as they found out that she was missing. They all got into the accidents. The taxi his sister was on and his parent’s car and the container car.

 

His father’s injuries were fatal. His surgery was done but in need of follow-up surgery. Sicheng did not understand that meaning. He thought his father will be fine as soon as he came out of surgery. His mother’s injuries weren’t that bad as his father. The anger and the loss are eating insides out of Sicheng. He was so young. He was seventeen.

 

He flied a lawsuit. 17 years old boy did not know much but Sicheng wasn’t stupid. His sister was only 16. Pregnancy at 16 is not legal. He did not care about money. He only wanted revenge. The lawsuit got that bastard attention. He brought his parents. Sicheng alone faced them. He was not afraid, he was angry.

They tried to persuade him to drop the charges with honey-coated words. Sicheng only saw the lies. They gave up and left. Sicheng thought he had won.

He might win the battle but he did not win the war.

They approached his mother. Sicheng did not know about their family financial situation. To have his father surgery, his mother had sold their house. Sicheng’s father business is going south. His mother, a woman with pride, chose her family instead her pride.

 

Sicheng was angry. He was angry at his mother for accepting their money. He shouted at his mother and asked her ‘why’? He accused his mother of not loving her own daughter. His mother did not say a word, did not defend herself.

“Xiao Mei was pregnant! Your daughter was pregnant! That’s why she was hospitalized! That baby was that bastard’s! Your grandchild was killed, your daughter is almost killed and you accept their money? AND YOU CALLED YOURSELF A MOTHER?”

It earned Sicheng a response he wanted.

“What? What did you say? She was pregnant?”

His mother cried then.

He did not know he killed his mother. His mother died at night. Not physically but his words killed his mother.

 

At the news of his mother’s death, his uncle family arrived. Apparently, they did not know about the accident nor their financial situation. His mother did not ask for her own brother’s help when she needed money. His mother was a woman who rather sold her house then asked other people for help. But he accused her. He accused her wrong.

Sicheng couldn’t sleep for weeks.

He was hospitalized in psychiatry ward for a month.

 

When he got out of hospital, his father is dead. The doctors could not save him. It was when he lost his parents. Almost his sister. His sister is in coma since then. His uncle let him know that his mother left him loads of money with an envelop and he took some to took care of hospital charges and the funeral.

Sicheng wanted to rip those money apart but he didn’t. His sister need those money to be cured. Sicheng did not touch the money but he knelt down in front of his uncle.

“What are you doing? Sicheng, come up.”

His uncle is a good man. He trusted because his mother always praise his uncle.

“Please take in my sister. I don’t need money. Please take it all but instead, I beg of you to take care of my sister.”

His uncle had agreed and he left.

Occasionally, he went to the hospital to check on his sister. But only at nights. His uncle had kept his promise. The nurse is hired to keep watch on his sister. They said his uncle came once a week and left his number.

  
Sicheng shut his eyes and forced those memories down. He did not forget. He will never forget the faces of those people. He hadn’t gone mad because he stopped blaming himself for his mother’s death. He blamed Johnny and his parents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now the history between Johnny and Sicheng is revealed. Will the revenge get the best of Sicheng?


	9. Nueve

Jaehyun couldn’t sleep. There is no sound from Sicheng. If he hadn’t seen the tears on Sicheng face or the wetness of his shirt, he wouldn’t know Sicheng was crying. Sicheng cried with no sound.

Jaehyun can’t decide between going into his room and see if he’s alright and giving him space. It’s 1 am.

“Screw it.”

Jaehyun decided not to give him space or what-so-ever shit. He needs to know if Sicheng is ok. He had to make sure if Sicheng is not crying himself to sleep.

 

Should I knock? But he can’t hear.

Jaehyun opened the door and close it. He opened it and closed it. He opened it for the third time and this time he peeked into the room.

The room is dark.

Sicheng is on the bed with one hand on his face. He did not look at Jaehyun. He did not invite him in or kick him out.

 

Jaehyun lie down next to Sicheng. His breathing changed but he doesn’t want to let Jaehyun know that he’s awake.  
Jaehyun can’t stand the silence in the room anymore. He hoovered over Sicheng. It’s then Sicheng looked at him. Looking for approval, Jaehyun slowly went down and paused. Their lips are just a few millimeters away. Excitements sang through Jaehyun and his blood rose.

Sicheng nods.

Jaehyun sighed out in relief because if Sicheng hadn’t nodded, he might die on that spot of needs for Sicheng. Quickly, Jaehyun removed Sicheng’s shirt but not completely to keep in check of two of Sicheng’s arms.

Sicheng’s eyes are wide and staring at Jaehyun.

“Feel. Don’t speak.” Jaehyun said softly.

Jaehyun went down and kissed Sicheng on the lips again. His hands roaming leisurely over Sicheng’s body. Jaehyun moved, his kisses travel to Sicheng’s jawline and to his neck till finding the sweet spot that got Sicheng moan and arched his back in inpatient way.

“Uhh”

Jaehyun did not stop. He continued licking and kissing that sweet spot. The ache between Sicheng’s legs is undeniable.

“Jaehyunnn please.”

Sicheng couldn’t help the shudder of pleasure that rocked through him as Jaehyun continued to tease.

“Uhh no more.”

Sicheng’s hip rise in search of friction. Jaehyun had given then. Both of them are hard.

 

I want to give you everything.

Jaehyun looked at Sicheng’s face who is biting his own bottom lips down, head turning a bit because of the pleasure Jaehyun is giving. Jaehyun planned to give more.

As Jaehyun’s lips went down, his two hands efficiently found a pair of hardened buds. Jaehyun rubbed them equally as he kisses on Sicheng’s cloth erection.

“Jaehyun… nooo stop!”

Sicheng is breathing heavily. He didn’t stop Jaehyun in time, he’s gonna come. He brought Jaehyun up, capturing his lips. Sicheng felt something then. Something passionate which is new. This feeling is totally new to him. Sicheng felt like too much. If Jaehyun doesn’t do something right now, he’s gonna embarrass himself.

 

“Fuck me”

It was a soft whisper but Jaehyun got the message, loud and clear. Jaehyun’s eyes darkened with desire.

 

“As you wish.”

 

It’s just like their first night when Sicheng ask who is going to fuck who. Jaehyun snapped. He looked dangerous and dark then.

Lucky again. Sicheng couldn’t wish for more. When Jaehyun changed like this, it’s gonna be one of his best night.

The only thing different from the first night is their position. Sicheng is not on fours. His legs are drawn wide, up in the air while his back is on the bed. Sicheng doesn’t know why but Jaehyun is particularly slow and soft. There’s nothing fast and rush about those three fingers entering him, pleasuring him.

And it’s not just the fingers. Jaehyun is kissing him. His rhythm matched with his fingers. Jaehyun’s kisses are too sweet. It is very unusual and unfamiliar for Sicheng.

And the feel Jaehyun is making him feel, it is uncomfortable for him.

 

“I can’t, Jaehyun. Just fuck me now. Please.”

Sicheng is not familiar with such care Jaehyun is treating him now. The pleasure is unbearable. His hands try to grasp something, just anything. He hold onto Jaehyun because he has to. He felt himself opened at Jaehyun’s entrance, too thick.

“Ahh”

Sicheng no longer contained anything, not even his moans.

“Yes yes yes”

Jaehyun is slow but steady. He thrusts in and out, his hands clenching hard.

“Too tight. Fuck. Fuck.”

Jaehyun slammed it right in, he no longer could control. Sicheng is driving him crazy with his urgent demands.

“Jaehyun, god, hurry. Hurry.”

Sicheng felt like he is falling. He is on the bed but he is not on the bed. This is more than just hot sex right now. He is hot all over. He knew what is happening. He kinda ignore but when he felt like his is coming as Jaehyun hitting right on his prostrate, he lost it.

“Ffuck.”

Pleasure ripped through Sicheng as he came. There’s no control over. The aftershock rode him. Jaehyun slowed down but still thrusting in and out with firm pace.

“GOD. I think I love you.”

Jaehyun face is embeded in Sicheng’s shoulder. There is no way Sicheng could hear.

I love you.

Jaehyun looked at Sicheng, his eyes bright. He lowered himself and kissed Sicheng on the lips. Unlike the sex they just had, the kiss is filled with innocence and sweetness. Sicheng returned the kiss, he felt it. His heart is no longer his from that kiss. As Jaehyun came, he pulled himself away and took Sicheng’s heart away with himself.

 

Without words, Jaehyun smiled.

“Good night.”

He planted a soft kiss on Sicheng’s forehead. Sicheng knew it is completely not part of Jaehyun seduction, but he can’t help but felt aroused. He blushed like a flower that just bloomed.

Sicheng hide his blush even though Jaehyun felt it. They both are too tired to shower. Jaehyun pulled Sicheng into an embrace and Sicheng gladly clung into him.

I am in trouble, Jaehyun.


	10. Ten

Without conscious, Sicheng’s hand looked for the warmth of another. He opened his eyes and smiled at the memory of last night. Jaehyun had slept in his bed, with his head on Jaehyun’s arms.

“Morning sunshine, time for breakfast.”

Jaehyun waited for Sicheng’s eyes to look at him. Only then, he spoke. Sicheng’s heart warm at the consideration. He nevered hated himself for being deaf more than this moment. Only this moment, he wanted to hear the voice of Jaehyun. His voice must sound angelic just like him.

He wanted this moment to pause.

Please pause.

“I ordered pizza.”

 

“What?”

Jaehyun laughed. He was joking. Sicheng can’t help but laugh.

“You better be joking.”

“Come and see if you don’t believe.” Jaehyun left the room.

Sicheng got up, half not trusting and half terror. I will not eat pizza for breakfast.

“What in the…”

Sicheng eye’s went wide in shock. There are plates and plates of Dimsum. How are we going to finished this?

 

“Come. Sit.”

Jaehyun made Sicheng sit in the sea of Dimsum.

“Pizza for breakfast, you really did believe that?” Jaehyun laughed. There it is again, the jealous kinda feeling. Sicheng did not want to read lips to know what is Jaehyun saying. He wants to hear. He wants to feel Jaehyun’s voice by heart. He wants so much. So much.

“I thought, you might miss Chinese food. Try. Let me know if it match your taste.”

 

Sicheng shook those feelings away. He could resent the condition he was born with. But right now, the warmth from Jaehyun melt all these cold feelings away.

“It’s good.”

He’s close to tears. Suddenly he felt like he returned home and his parents made those and he is eating them. Sicheng swallows all these tears. He eat one after one. Without words, Jaehyun brought him a glass of water.

Sicheng gladly take it. He quickly averted his eyes. Jaehyun’s eyes. They are so pretty. But that’s not why Sicheng cannot look at them. Sicheng is afraid of his own eyes. He is afraid his eyes might give his feelings away that… that he…

 

“Thank you.”

Sicheng softly muttered.

 

-

They are heading for the studio. Studio! I have never been to a studio. NOT even once. Sicheng is excited. He lightly hummed the melody of course randomly and by him.

Jaehyun wants to make small talk but Sicheng is looking outside the window. Times like this, he kinda wish Sicheng would look at him all the time. Only him.

 

“I wish you would look at me.”

Jaehyun speaks to himself. Sicheng still is not paying him no mind.

“Is the outside more interesting than me?”

Jaehyun is now pouting slightly.

“Damn it. I want to kiss you. You’re just…” Jaehyun froze. Sicheng just remove the seatbelt and kissed him on the temple.

“Satisfied?”

 

Jaehyun looked at Sicheng wide eyes.

“I thought you are not…”

“You’re mean. I am deaf but that doesn’t mean you could bad-mouth me in front of me. Or fantasize about me verbally, in this case.”

“Sorry.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what he apologized for but, he is smiling. When Jaehyun looked at Sicheng, Sicheng is also smiling.

I love you. Jaehyun was unsure last night. He thought maybe it’s because of sensations he felt like he loves Sicheng. But this slight peck from Sicheng confirms it.

I am in love with this Redhead.

 

-

“Jay”

Sicheng’s eyes snapped to the voice that he got memorized. The hatred and the rage returns. He almost forgot. Jaehyun almost made him forgot.

“What are you doing here?”

The cold voice said and it’s not Sicheng.

 

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes, clearly showing he is still mad.

“Come on, are you still mad? I am sorry. I was drunk, I got out of control. Sicheng, you don’t mind right?” Johnny looked at Sicheng. Sicheng tried his best staying in poker face as he gave Johnny a nod.

“Go back. I am still planning to hate you.”

Jaehyun is still acting up. Sicheng could see it. Their friendship must be strong. Real strong.

 

“Come on, please. Huh? Please.” Jaehyun turned a cold back to Johnny but it doesn’t stop Johnny from doing cute, disgusting face at Jaehyun. Sicheng felt like he wants to vomit seeing Johnny.

Could you stop being so gay? Sicheng wanted to ask.

 

“Fine! Now tell me, what are you really doing here? If to ask for my forgiveness, you can go back. We have works to do.”

“Actually… I came to warn you. Well, you two.”

“Warn us?” Jaehyun looked at Sicheng who is not looking at Johnny so he doesn’t know what Johnny had been saying.

“You mother gave me a call.”

“Mom did?” Jaehyun is being cautious now. His mother is not exactly a kind person. And his mother is also someone who doesn’t lift a finger if it doesn’t profit her.

“She asked me about what’s the deal with well, this, everything.” Johnny looked around, indicating the producer, studio and the singers.

 

“Oh so, she doesn’t forget me.” Jaehyun shrugged. He knew he overdid the promotion about the new song but he needed to. He asked for the really famous singer but it’s not enough. So, two weeks worth of promotions pre-released and a month worth after released promotions were planned.

“You wish. Besides, the budget is a bit unusual coming from you.”

“Whatever.”

“So, I told her about him.”

“WHAT?”

Johnny expected this kind of reactions. He felt kinda guilty but he did what he thought is right. He did not want to. But he also knew Jaehyun’s mother. She is not someone that trust other people blindly. She will have spies on Jaehyun and when she asked me, she must have already known about Sicheng.

 

“You know your mother, Jaehyun. Even if I lied, she have her own means to learn about you two.”

Of course Jaehyun gets it. Johnny is right, he knew his mother.

“Thanks for the heads up.” Jaehyun patted on Johnny’s back, a gesture that he understand and appreciate for that.

 

“Annyeong Ha Se Yo.”

“Annyeong, everyone.”

Two people came in.

 

“Jenna! Taeyong! Come. Thanks for coming in such short notice.”

The Producer came out seeing the singers arrived.

 

“How are you doing?” Taeyong directed his question to Jaehyun while ignoring Johnny’s glare.

“I’m good. Thanks.” Jaehyun looked slightly stiffened by Taeyong presence.

Sicheng observed everyone in the room. The girl is busy talking to the Producer while Jaehyun, Johnny and the new guy is looking… interesting.

What’s with Johnny and the new guy? Johnny is totally glaring up. Enemy of the enemy is friend. Seemed interesting.

 

“So, Jaehyun! I promised to work on the new kid’s piece on one condition.”

“Ne? Producer-nim, didn’t you say you accept my request already? You still have condition?”

“Jaehyun, I like you and I trust your taste. But I must have this condition fulfilled or I’m out.”

“Alright. Please tell me.”

“You have to assist me.”

“Ne?” Jaehyun couldn’t his ears.

Johnny’s face is brightened. He looks at Producer with total agreement.

“Be my assistant-producer or find another one. That’s it.”

“But…”

 

Producer shook his head, hinting this condition is not debatable.

“Okay.” Jaehyun sighed out.

“Then we need to choose the lyricist really hard. As you know, I am really good at upsetting the lyricist.”

“Right.” The Producer looked like he is already regretting his decision to get Jaehyun to be his right hand man.

 

“Um… excuse me.”

Sicheng speaks up for the first time. Everyone’s eyes are on him now.

“Did you say lyricist?”  
“Yeah, we still haven’t decided on.”

“I write my own lyrics.”

“Huh?”

“Ha!”

Johnny looked at Sicheng, he doesn’t seemed nervous, not even a bit.

 

“You can write lyrics too?”

“For every piece of music I composed, I have lyrics written. Actually, I started out as lyricist.”

“Hmm. Then, let’s see. I don’t believe words. I believe actions.”

Sicheng nods.

 

“Not here. There.” When Sicheng is pulling out his violin and preparing to play, Jaehyun guided Sicheng to the recording room.

“Sicheng. Sicheng. Listen to me. The Producer out there, he is really one of the best in the industry. And he gave harsh criticism. Don’t mind him. Ok? Do your best.” I love you. Jaehyun almost said those words out. He bit down his tongue.

Knowing there are people out there watching them, Sicheng plants a kiss on Jaehyun’s lips. It is for Johnny. But Sicheng can’t help but notice the slight movement from the new guy also.

 

“I will. If he changed his mind and refused to work with me, it’s fine. I will be fine. I am just a street performer, ok? Don’t worry about me.” Sicheng words ease a little of Jaehyun’s nerves. Jaehyun felt like he is the one going through the audition. Sicheng seemed really confident and calm.

Jaehyun finally smiles and walked out to join the rest.

“New boyfriend, huh?” Jenna said with a wink.

Jaehyun just laughs.

“Just like you see.”

 

Sicheng is really joyful to see the shy expression on Jaehyun. But he enjoying more the unpleasant face of Johnny. It’s just the beginning.

 

Sicheng started playing and Jaehyun can’t help looking around. He wanted to showcase Sicheng’s talent. It’s a jewel in the mud. The thing about Sicheng is, he doesn’t nervous nor he tries so hard. Sicheng is passionate about music but he doesn’t feel like he had to win something or someone for his music to shine. That’s his strength.

 

Actually, there’s no winning music. There is no such thing is bad music either. There’s just preference. Some people like classic and some like rock.

Comparing music is like comparing apple and banana.

 

Sicheng has stopped playing for 10 seconds and no one has moved. They all looked at Sicheng who is breathing calmly like he is meditating.

“Wow.”

It’s Jenna who starts speaking.

“I am so glad I am chosen for this piece. Producer-nim, please remember me for next good project too.”

“No. No. This is my first time listening to him.” The Producer clapped for Sicheng, giving him an approved nod.

“Then…?”

“It’s Jay.” Johnny said. He can’t deny Sicheng is good. He’s great.

 

“Jaehyun should work at Agency. Taeyong was also brought by him, wasn’t it?” Producer said.

It’s also the time Sicheng came out of the recording room. He glanced at Taeyong who is looking at him with not much of facial expression.

“Yes, I am still thankful towards Jaehyun. Back then, we were also dating.”

 

“Why would you mention the past? You guys were playing around.” Johnny said with a frown. He seemed mad.

Sicheng can’t help but found himself feeling same annoyance as Johnny. They dated? For how long? When? Jaehyun is not saying anything. He is not even looking at me.

“Well, someone wasn’t.” Taeyong is not backing down on Johnny.

 

“Now, now. Sicheng, I like this. We will need to change and add some, Jaehyun and I will be working together on that. Believe us, it will become more amazing.”

The air is tense. Johnny left without saying a word.

“We will have meeting another time. I will tell you two in advance.” Jaehyun said it too formally.

“See you, Jaehyun.” Jenna is quick to leave. While Taeyong…

He gave an intense look to Jaehyun. Jaehyun is already turning his back, looking for Sicheng. Sicheng saw everything. He doesn’t know what is happening but he gets a sense of it. Taeyong is not still over Jaehyun.

 

“Producer-nim, I will do ground work. Let’s work together tomorrow.”

“Okay, call me.”

“Let’s go home.” Jaehyun tried to hold Sicheng’s hands. But Sicheng grabbed his violin case with both hands.

“Let’s go.”

Jaehyun was rejected. Coldly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> past of Taeyong and Jaehyun


	11. Undécimo

“Sicheng.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do. Why is Sicheng ignoring me? What did I do? Could be that…?

Jaehyun pulled over. HE stopped the car and unbuckled his seatbelt.

 

“I dated Taeyong two years ago.”

Jaehyun grabbed two of Sicheng shoulders to get his attentions on him. Sicheng is now glaring at Jaehyun with irritation.

“Let go. I don’t want to know any of your past lovers.”

“We were not lovers. At least listen, ok?”

“Fine. If you want to tell about it so badly.” Sicheng doesn’t know why is he this irritated. Jaehyun dated a few guys. So what? Big Deal. Except, it made him feel itchy. It’s like a bug is constantly flying around his ears when he is fast asleep. It made him wanna crash that bug, just like Taeyong who is flying around Jaehyun like a bug.

 

“I was in College.”

* * *

 

### Two years ago

 

Johnny is sick at home. Jaehyun is always with Johnny.

“It’s kinda boring without that jerk.” Jaehyun tugged his hands in his pocket of the jeans. He never bothered with umbrella. No matter how much Johnny nags at him, Jaehyun pay no mind. Now it’s raining, too heavily.

There is no way he could reach the class from the cafe without drenching with rain. Besides the classroom is fully air-conditioned room.

 

“We could share this if you want.”

A voice came from behind that makes Jaehyun to turn around.

“Me?”

“Yeah, you are also in dancing class. You don’t know me, do you?”

“Sorry. Let us introduce properly. I am Jaehyun, sophomore but you already know that right?”

“My name is Taeyong. Lee Taeyong, music major.”

 

And just like this, they shared the small umbrella Taeyong had. But Jaehyun remember he didn’t get much of rain, only his sleeve.

This is how Jaehyun gained a new friend.

 

-

It’s been a week that Jaehyun see Taeyong.

“Is this seat taken?”

“Yes.” Johnny, without even looking said.

“No.” Jaehyun also at the same time, said.

 

Taeyong let out an awkward laugh and that’s when Jaehyun’s eyes met him.

“Taeyong, hey.”

“Hi. I will just go sit somewhere.”

“Nonsense, don’t mind him.” Jaehyun grabbed Taeyong’s wrist to stop him from going and let Taeyong sit next to him.

 

“Thank you.” Taeyong looked at his wrist. Jaehyun hand is already removed. But Taeyong felt his cheeks heating up.

“Who is he?” Johnny directed his question at Jaehyun.

“HEY! Don’t be a jerk. He’s my friend.”

“Hi.” Taeyong said but Johnny didn’t even give him a glance.

 

“When did you get a friend without me knowing?”

“What’s with you? I met him other day. He saved me from rain.” Jaehyun is now feeling really annoyed at Johnny and feeling bad at Taeyong. Taeyong didn’t say anything.

“That’s why I always told you to take a freaking umbrella with you. You never listens.”

“Stop nagging. You are 18 but you nagged like 81. So annoying.” Jaehyun said and turned his back to Johnny. Give an apologetic smile to Taeyong which Taeyong returned with a warm smile.

 

“I am going.” Johnny announced as he found his way out. Clearly he is pissed at Jaehyun for no reason at all. Jaehyun rolled his eyes.

“Johnny is just too unreasonable sometimes.” Jaehyun said with a sigh.

“It’s ok. I understand.” Taeyong smiled.

“Thank you.”

 

“Are you reviewing History?”

“Yeah, I need to write an essay. Apparently, the past is not just left in the past. I am so tired of it.”

“For me, it’s Calculus. I felt so stupid.”

“Calculus? Do you need my help?” Jaehyun casually said.

“Huh? Really? Please. I am barely passing.” Taeyong eyes immediately twinkle at Jaehyun’s offer.

“I am not that good but I guess I can share, at least what I know.”

“That would be a great help. But are you sure…?” Taeyong suddenly looked down.

“What?”

“Would I disturb your studying? I don’t want to be in your way, you know…”

“Nah. I can review and do homework. That works out fine for me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Really.”

“Thank you, Jaehyun.” Taeyong smiles shyly.

 

And this is how Jaehyun and Taeyong become study buds.

-

“Here.” Taeyong handed Jaehyun a cup of hot coffee.

“Thanks.”

Tomorrow is the last day of exam.

Jaehyun did not even look at Taeyong as he buried his head in his books.

 

Since that day in Library, Taeyong and Jaehyun always met up at Library. Sometimes grab something to eat of course Johnny never joins. Jaehyun is the one leading the conversations but Taeyong always listens intently.

“You are gonna do just fine.” Taeyong hands, without even thinking, massage the nape and shoulder of Jaehyun.

 

“This is good.” Jaehyun closed his eyes, felt his muscles relaxed under Taeyong’s fingers.

“Come on, enough.” Jaehyun’s hands move towards his nape, hold the hands of Taeyong to thank him. When he looked at Taeyong, his face is flushed. His eyes are not focused on Jaehyun.

“Taeyong?”

“Huh?”

This is when their eyes met. Taeyong’s eyes betrayed and moved to Jaehyun’s lips.

“I… I am sorry. I need to go.” Taeyong turned his back on Jaehyun, trying to run.

Jaehyun was confused as he looked at Taeyong’s back.

-

 

It’s been a week.

Taeyong stopped showing up at the Library. He did not call Jaehyun even though they exchange their numbers at the Library.

Jaehyun doesn’t like to think much. He pressed ‘call’.

 

Taeyong doesn’t pick up.

 

“Why did he not pick up?” Jaehyun actually missed Taeyong. Taeyong is not much of a talker but he listens. He listens so well.

Jaehyun decided to go check on him. He knew his classes schedule.

Where could he be?

Music room? Whatever, today I had to see him.

 

Jaehyun walked around the floor music room is in. He stopped taking music lesson as his mother deemed the class at college not enough. He got his own personal trainer now.

There!

He saw the room. The first group he saw is the classic group. He is familiar with the people so he just walked into the room to find Taeyong.

 

Found you!

Taeyong is with his ears phone on. He did not seem to notice Jaehyun yet. He is muttering something. As Jaehyun went near, he realized Taeyong is not muttering. HE is rapping.

Beautiful.

The first thought about Taeyong’s rap from Jaehyun is beautiful. Jaehyun never seen Taeyong like this, so passionate, so mesmerizing.

 

“Wow.”

This is when Taeyong stopped. His eyes widened in shock. Taeyong immediately removed his headphone as he turned around to face Jaehyun.

“Jaehyun, how…”

“Why are you hiding from me?”

“No… I…”

“I missed you.” Jaehyun said and he meant it.

“Jaehyun-ah, I… I can’t continue seeing you.” Taeyong seemed happy for a moment when Jaehyun said he missed him. But the sadness clouded his eyes as he continued.

“Did I do something wrong? I don’t remember… is it because of Johnny?”

 

“NO.” Taeyong back away from Jaehyun. Jaehyun just can’t understand what is going on.

“I like you!”

“Jung Jaehyun! I like you! I like you not as a friend. I want you to be my boyfriend! That’s why.” Taeyong yelled.

 

Jaehyun seemed to forget all the words. He never seen Taeyong raising his words, let alone shouting at such public place.

 

“Just date and get a room.”

“Go handle things yourself.”

“What a drama!”

Students, one by one commented on them.

 

“Just, go. Jaehyun I know we don’t feel the same.” Taeyong dropped his head and turned his back on Jaehyun.

“I think… I think I like you too.” Jaehyun tried to say. It’s too indistinct.

Jaehyun breathed.

Taeyong likes me! This is… this is the first time someone, not female, confessed to me.

Jaehyun tried to control his jumping heart. He needs Taeyong to look at him.

 

“LEE TAEYONG”

Fuck.

Jaehyun cursed inwardly. He tried to speak loud enough for Taeyong to look at him. But he called Taeyong’s name a little louder than he intended. Not only Taeyong but almost everyone looked at him.

“I like you too.”

 

“What?”

Taeyong stared at Jaehyun who is now closing his eyes tightly, his hands clenched into a fist.

“I SAID I LIKE YOU TOO.”

 

“Seriously, if one of you guys shouted one more time, I am calling the student council.” Someone shouted from the crowd.   
 

Taeyong is now grinning ears to ears. He grabbed Jaehyun’s hand and ran out of the school. Jaehyun opened his eyes and he saw the sweet grinning face of Taeyong. He also smiled along.

That day was their day 1.

-


	12. [Twelve] Life is not all flower petals

Jaehyun blinked away the memories at he looked at Sicheng. No matter what had happened between Taeyong and him, it’s all the past now. There is no use putting the blame on each other.

“That’s how I met Taeyong.”

“So he is like your first love.” Sicheng said. He knows he has no right to mad at Jaehyun. And because he knows he has no right, that made him even more madder. He doesn’t like the fact that someone other than him knows a part of Jaehyun he doesn’t.

 

“I wouldn’t say ‘love’. I was young. But Taeyong was my first heartbeat and first heartache.”

 

Sicheng wants to bite Jaehyun. He wants to kiss Jaehyun till he couldn’t speak anything other than his name. He wants to make Jaehyun beg for more, beg for him.

“But it doesn’t matter now.”

Sicheng wants to ask more and he doesn’t want to know anymore of this. He hated himself for feeling like this. He shouldn’t feel this way. He shouldn’t feel jealousy towards Taeyong.

 

Taeyong is just some stranger who is going to sing the song he wrote. And he suddenly feels regret and possessive. Regret, that he doesn’t know who Taeyong is before and let him sing his song. Possessive that, someone he holds dear, the song he wrote and Jaehyun, Taeyong somehow would take a part of them.

 

Sicheng silently ride the car. He did a useless motion. He turned on the radio.

Why did I fucking do that?!

Sicheng regretted the moment he reach for the radio but he turned it on anyway. Jaehyun glance at him but didn’t say anything. It’s a cue for ‘I don’t want to speak’ and Jaehyun gets it.

When Jaehyun done parking the car, Sicheng got out without a word.

 

No, I can’t let him go yet. Jaehyun decided.

“I mean it. Sicheng, I mean it.” Jaehyun hand’s gripped both of Sicheng shoulders.

“I know.” Sicheng now finally looks into Jaehyun’s eyes.

He felt the weight of Jaehyun’s stares. He doesn’t want to feel those feelings.

This is bad.

Sicheng wants to say a lot of things. He wanted to say ‘It’s ok. I trust you.’ He wanted to ask ‘What are we? Are we just playing around?’ All the feelings insides him for Jaehyun, he pressed them down everyday. He couldn’t even touch or kiss Jaehyun without feeling the love insides him, spreading to every cells of his body.

 

“Are we cool then?” The worry in Jaehyun’s eyes, Sicheng wanted to kiss those away.

“Yes, of course.” Sicheng managed to smile even if he had to fake it to make Jaehyun happy, of course he would.

Jaehyun seemed a little less worry when he dropped his hands to his side. Sicheng doesn’t want the warmth from Jaehyun to go away. But nothing goes his way.

-

A week passed.

Jaehyun hasn’t tried anything to do. Sicheng, he doesn’t speak much. They worked on the song together with the Producer in the studio. When Jaehyun is watching TV in the living room, Sicheng is practising violin in his own room.

Sometimes Sicheng would find Jaehyun to help him write lyrics.

 

Writing lyrics, using Korean words is just an excuse. Sicheng can’t stay away from Jaehyun. He has this new habit to stare into Jaehyun’s eyes and lips but do nothing.

Oh Lord knows he wanted to do more than just stare.

How much I craved Jaehyun’s touch.

 

But he won’t.

Sicheng is now sitting on the floor while Jaehyun on the couch.

“This is the last part of the song. I want to give it the dark feelings. You know this song is about how one cope with life hardships and bitterness all by himself. I wanted to end it with dramatic feel.” Sicheng explained.

Jaehyun is the best person to work together. His concentration is brilliant. He listens well.

 

“You mean, what if he stopped seeing those hardships as something he should conquer but to give in.”

“Exactly! I wanted to end with the sound effect that shows… you know, I don’t know how to put it.”  
“I think I get the idea. This is nice.” Jaehyun smiles, showing his dimple.

 

Sicheng felt like his heart is gonna explode. Those dimples. This smile.

“What are you staring at? Is there something on my face?”

Jaehyun touched his own face, looking flustered.

“No, come here.” Sicheng brings Jaehyun’s face down. His hand touched the edge of Jaehyun’s lips and pinched a little of his cheek.

“What are you doing?”

“Soft.”

“What…” Jaehyun’s breath hitched. Sicheng noticed suddenly of the situation he is in.

 

“Gonna sleep now. I am going for a run tomorrow.” Sicheng sat up. He noticed Jaehyun’s flushed face but if he is not going to stop abruptly like this, he won’t be able to.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun stood up, blocking Sicheng’s way.

“How long are you gonna avoiding me? I don’t think I can act this out longer. I don’t even know why are we pretending like we don’t want each other.”

“I don’t… I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Sicheng, please.” Jaehyun’s voice quivered.

“Jaehyun, I…”

It is a mistake. To look into Jaehyun’s eyes. They are glossed with tears, threatening to fall out.

“Shh! It’s ok.” All the armors up against Jaehyun broke down. Sicheng just stopped thinking. His brain stopped working. All these ‘should-not’s are gone.

Sicheng let his hands touch the side of Jaehyun’s face. A tear escaped from his eyes as Jaehyun blinked. Sicheng brought himself up and kissed the tears away. It’s like the most natural thing to do in this moment.

“Sicheng, can I…” Jaehyun doesn’t need words to make Sicheng understand. Their eyes met and Sicheng nods.

 

A nod is all Jaehyun needed.

God. He feels so good.

Jaehyun kissed Sicheng hard, open mouthed while bringing their hips to grind in slow and smooth motions. Sicheng gripped Jaehyun’s hair because he had to.

 

What is Jaehyun doing to me?

Sicheng felt his legs weakening and all the blood, shit, rushing to his cock. He is hard. Jaehyun knew it. He purposely pressed his thigh hard onto the hardening length, gaining a groan from Sicheng.

 

Jaehyun pulled off his shirt. Sicheng shirt is already removed by him. It’s been so long. Jaehyun stared down Sicheng who is lying on the couch, panting. Jaehyun kissed him again, hard and needy. Jaehyun was gonna get into his pants, again, finally.

Until something…

-

Click.

The front door opened.

“Son, Omma come to see you.” The door closed once again with a click.

“WHAT? MOTHER, DON’T COME IN.” Jaehyun shouted at the top of his lungs. Thank god he still got his pants on but Sicheng…

“Dress up!” Jaehyun pulled up Sicheng underwear as he finds his shirt and put it on.

 

“I have seen you without any clothes on since you were born, Son. But young man, please let’s have a talk with proper manners.”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Jaehyun is flustered and he can’t focus. He is hard, in front of his mother. Jaehyun turned his back on his mother and gave Sicheng his shirt. After putting his shirt on, Jaehyun mouthed Sicheng ‘I’m sorry’.

 

“What a cute thing. I was wondering what is making my son idiotic.”

Without a care in the world, Jaehyun’s mother sat down on the couch opposite to them, staring up and down, smiling sarcastically at Sicheng.

“Annyeong Ha Seyo.” Sicheng said trying to smile. He does not know what is the situation but he had the bad feeling about it.

“Mom, what are you doing here?” Jaehyun said, his voice small.

“I heard many things. Things I believe my smart son would not do. So, I am coming here to check, hoping they were all wrong.” She was staring down at Sicheng, and suddenly her stare moved to her son. Jaehyun inwardly flinched.

“And they are all right.” She added silently.

 

“I am doing fine, Mom.”

“With your plaything?”

Jaehyun stood up. He can’t stand his mother. He is fine with any sarcasm, any belittling words but not this disrespect to Sicheng. His mother is not even looking at Sicheng right now.

“Sicheng is not my plaything. He is not a thing.” Jaehyun said.

“I am right here.”

 

“Know your place.” She said directly to Sicheng as if she is waiting for it.

“Mom! He is my guest.” Jaehyun protectively stood in front of Sicheng, readying for a war.

“Son, if you want to play, play outside as much as you want. I am not that narrow-minded. You know your mother.”

“I told you, it is not…” Jaehyun felt his anger rising. He wasn’t given any chance to explain. He wants his mother to know Sicheng is not just… that. But his mother is not listening. He doesn’t know where and how she knew of them but it’s all wrong.

 

“It’s ok. Both of your father and I have played a lot in our youths. You should too. I don’t blame you for wanting something pretty. But pretty things are only nice to look at.”

Sicheng eyes met Jaehyun’s mother.

So I am the pretty thing? His eyes challenge.

Told you, know your place. His mother eyes, flashing with mockery.

 

“STOP! Mother, listen to me, I…” Jaehyun did not notice the small interaction between his mother and Sicheng. He felt like he is pushed towards a corner.

“You see, your father is not my love. I am not his. I am not stupid that I would tell a lie to my own son how happy my marriage is. It’s not the best. Our parents got into an agreement and let us get into a marriage with lots of money. Oh how much I used to hate my parents. But now, everything you got, every dollar you spent without a care, it’s because of them.”

 

“You know how your marriage turns out. Dad and you barely look at each other’s direction yet you are married to each other for decades. And you want me, your only son to have this kind of marriage? And money? Who said anything about money?”

“Jaehyun, son. I don’t know about other people but you, you have no right to say this. Money? Don’t call it out like it’s the most disgusting thing. Do you think you could keep your pretty boy here without it?”

“I…” Jaehyun couldn’t answer.

“I am not here to talk about money. You can spend all you want like you used to. I don’t want to waste my time on the mere thousand dollar. I only want to warn you. You know your mother, I, always play fair.” It’s when his mother stands up.

“You and your pretty boy can play, for the time being. I won’t interfere. But keep it in your mind. Your marriage is in my hand.”

His mother left with the same grace she sat down, she stood up and close the door behind her.

 

“You will hate me now, but you will thank me when you are my age, Jaehyun-ah”

The car door was opened, waiting for her. She is too used to it to notice that the door is something that had to be opened to get into the car. As soon as she gets into the car, she closed her eyes. The door was closed again, but not by her.

“Make sure things don’t go so smooth. Let them face some hardships. He will see life is not all about flower petals.”

“Yes, Madam.”


	13. Trece

The world has always been silent to Sicheng. He never felt like he had to raise his voice to get people’s attention. That’s the reason why he loves being the street performer. Everyone looks at him, everyone likes to watch him play and he likes to be the center of attention.

But now,

Sicheng wants to scream. He wants to scream, yell and shout at Jaehyun and his mother. He hates being deaf. But it’s something he was born with so he got over it. But in this moment, he detests himself. He hated the look Jaehyun’s mother give him. He hated the fact that Jaehyun treated him like… like a thing he had to protect.

 

“Sicheng, about my mother…”

“Don’t worry, I hardly catch what she was saying.” A lie.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have… I really am an idiot.”

 

He’s beating himself up again. Sicheng felt the anger insides rose again. He needs to be alone.

“Let’s talk tomorrow. I am tired.” This time, it’s the truth. I am getting tired of everything.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun stopped him, pulling him into a hug.

It’s the hug I fall for everytime. The same hug but this time it is different. Sicheng did not melt into the hug. He stayed still.

“Goodnight, Jaehyun.” Sicheng is the first one to move away and headed to his room.

 

-

Jaehyun is alone at the studio. Sicheng is not avoiding him. This time it’s worse. Sicheng is speaking to him, he is smiling at him and acting all normal but Jaehyun knows something is up. He is so confused. He wondered how much of Sicheng knows about their conversation.

Was he angry? Was he angry at me?

But Sicheng doesn’t look angry. That is the problem. If Sicheng is angry, he won’t even look at Jaehyun.

 

“Where is little violinist of yours?” Producer asked Jaehyun, sitting besides him.

“He wanna stayed at home. He passed the sheet with me.” Jaehyun took out the file from his bag.

“I called Jenna and Taeyong already. You better called him.” Producer said.

“Today has recording?”

“Yeah, sorry. I thought you knew.”

Sicheng didn’t know the way to the studio. And the time is…

The phone rang. Jaehyun looked down at his phone, the caller is… What a timing.

“Johnny!”

“Hey Jay! Where you at?”

“Studio, listen. Do me a favor, will you?” Jaehyun asked, knowing Johnny never says no.

“Sure, what is it?”

“Could you pick up Sicheng at my place and drop him at the Studio?”

“Sicheng? He is not with you?”

“No. Where are you? Can you pick him up?” Jaehyun urged Johnny.

“Yeah, yeah. Sure. I’m near your apartment anyway.”

 

After they hang up, Jaehyun felt too thankful towards Johnny that he did not even remember even mad at him in the first place.

30 minutes later, Taeyong shows up.

“Taeyong, come.” Producer lead Taeyong to his office, saving Jaehyun from making a small talk with Taeyong.

“Jaehyun, you too.” Ugh. What a luck! Jaehyun’s relief was short-lived.

 

“We have to add the rap part around at 1:40. The intro last almost 20 seconds and will be played by Sicheng. The vocal starts right after the violin.”

“I was thinking, we could let Taeyong do harmony. His voice is really soft and it could bring a nice contradictory to Jenna’s.” Jaehyun suggested.He accidentally looked at Taeyong and saw Taeyong blushing a bit at his compliment.

“Let’s try this.”

 

“I’m here.” Sicheng announced.

“Nice! Come! We made some adjusted in the middle, let me know your thoughts.”

“Okay. Um… Jaehyun, a moment.” Sicheng called out.

 

Jaehyun eyes are wide. His mouth is hanging opened. He apparently stopped breathing. Jaehyun knows his reaction is a bit gone too far but he can’t believe. This is the first time Sicheng wants to talk something to him.

Jaehyun tab on the back of Sicheng.

“Hey.”

“Jaehyun, Taeyong is rapper? I did not write raps. And why is he doing recording?”

Jaehyun was disappointed. He was really excited when Sicheng called him out.

“Taeyong is a rapper, yes. He writes his own raps. That’s why I…”

“NO! I write lyrics of my song.” Sicheng said clearly. He seemed frustrated.

 

“Of course, you wrote them. Jenna is going to test out singing today. I already gave her the sheet.”

“Ok. I also need to write raps of Taeyong. Give me a bit of time.”

“I told you, he can write his own raps. He is going to listen…” Jaehyun couldn’t understand this situation.

 

“Jaehyun! I write my own song! Raps or not, I wrote them all. A song can’t have two stories. It have to be a story coming out from the same person.”

“Sicheng, calm down first ok? Taeyong is capable. He is pretty good.”

Sicheng closed his eyes, breathing in. His hands are now on his hips. He is mad.

 

“If he is capable of writing a song himself, let him write the whole song with different music. Give me back my song, my sheet. I am done.”

“Are you kidding?”

If looks could kill… The icy cold stare Sicheng is giving Jaehyun, it cuts him. He is not bleeding alright. But that look is something he never expect from Sicheng.

“No.”

“You signed a contract. This is not a game, Sicheng. This is not a game like you and I playing this whole time that if you are in the mood, you played with me and when you are not in the mood, discard me like a used thing.”

Jaehyun really lost it. He knows it’s not fair to put all the blame on him like that.

 

A smirk formed on Sicheng’s face. Jaehyun regretted the moment he sensed this is going to be bad.

“You mean I signed a contract. Then, I can breach it.” Sicheng was hurt. How could he say this? He is the one that brought me here. He never imagined Jaehyun to talk to him like that. He was hurt but he won’t show. He won’t let other people win by showing them how broken he is insides. That, he learnt it well.

“I’m sor…”

Sicheng held up a hand, gesturing Jaehyun to stop talking. He walked back to where everyone is. Without looking at anyone, he took his bag.

“Send me a list of compensation you want tomorrow to this address.” Sicheng slapped the card down.

Jaehyun looked at the card Sicheng left.

Qian Kun. Lawyer. The address is… HongKong.


	14. Fourteen

“Is everything ok?”

“I am sorry, Producer-nim, I have to go. Something came up.” Jaehyun apologized to everyone as he hurried to follow Sicheng.

The visiting card Sicheng left is like a bomb to Jaehyun. Jaehyun doesn’t know who is Qian Kun and who he is to Sicheng. He knew he angered Sicheng. Sicheng looked so cold when he left.

 

It is his fault to mention the contract. When Sicheng signed it, he merely asked a few questions and signed it. It show how much Sicheng believed in him. And he had to throw it away. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

“Jaehyun! Where are you going?”

“Oh, Johnny. Give me a lift. To my apartment.”

“Huh?” Johnny was confused. Johnny was outside when Sicheng left.

“Go! Hurry!”

“Ok. Wait here.”

Jaehyun looked at his phone impatiently. He feels terrible. Why did I say that? Why would I do that?

“Get in.” Johnny stopped the car in front of him. He got in quickly.

 

“What happened?” Johnny looked at Jaehyun’s stressed face.

“Sicheng… I… Johnny what do I do?” Jaehyun looked like he is about to cry.

“Did you two fight? I noticed you have been down for since last week.”

“We don’t fight. It’s… I don’t know.” Jaehyun meant it. He really doesn’t know what went wrong. Communication is the problem between them. He is usually the one talking, even though Sicheng cannot hear, he listens very well.

 

Now that he shuts down and doesn’t listen anymore...

 

“What is it then?”

“My mother dropped by last week. She… you know, she said some bad things.”

“You mean she insulted you in front of Sicheng.” This is nothing new to Johnny. Jaehyun’s mother does that. She treated everyone who isn’t important to her like a peasant. He, himself is no exception.

 

“And Sicheng had been acting distant and strange. I don’t know. I can’t figure him out. But today, he said he wants to write lyrics himself, even the rap-part.”

“But Taeyong can write right?” Johnny asked, confused by the way conversation is leading. Is Sicheng really got mad over this?

 

“I explained him but I did a poor job of it. I made a mistake. I got angry because he was being a pain in ass. Now he wants to go back. He said to contact his lawyer and give me his card and left.” Jaehyun is not like himself. His words coming out fast and lunatic.

“Wow. I never knew he has… his own lawyer?” Johnny tried to calm Jaehyun down. But Jaehyun is… really not himself.

“I don’t know. It’s chinese. The address is in Hong Kong. Please, Johnny, I don’t want to let him go. I… Fuck this.” Jaehyun punched on the car window.

“Hey! Hey! Calm the fuck down! He can’t go anywhere right now. We will convince him to stay here, ok? Look at me.” Johnny took a glance of Jaehyun. His eyes are watery. His bottom lips was bitten.

“Jay. Do you like him? No… Do you love him?” Johnny took a risk, looking at Jaehyun who is now looking back at him.

“I… Johnny! Look out!” Jaehyun looked at the man getting dangerously closer to their car. I can’t watch this. He closed his eyes tightly, his hands gripping on the cushion underneath.

 

There was a person in front of their car. Johnny spinned the steer-wheel to avoid hitting and ended up hitting the big tree.

A loud bam could be heard.

A few minutes later, the sound of sirens and ambulance alert the neighborhood.

 

-

Sicheng entered the apartment and he opened the door of his room. My room. How weird. Now I am calling this my room.

He blinked back the tears that filled his eyes. His heart felt like it had been ripped out of his heart. His eyes hurt because he kept swallowing back the tears. His throat felt dry.

Sicheng took all of his clothes and put them in the luggage. He only brought a few clothes and his personal things. The room doesn’t feel empty without him. Jaehyun won’t even notice that I’m gone.

 

Sicheng lingered a bit in the living room. His eyes traveled to Jaehyun’s room. I never once went in his room. Sicheng’s feet just walked towards Jaehyun’s room. His hand opening the door-nob. It wasn’t locked.

Sicheng contemplated whether he should enter or not. But he decided to, just one last time.

He opened the door and stepped inside. Jaehyun’s room is… not so tidy. He didn’t make his bed this morning, apparently.

Sicheng walked towards the bed. He picked up the bed-sheet and rolling it nice. Then he remembered he is not supposed to leave evidence about sneaking into Jaehyun’s room and make his bed while he is gone.

 

Sicheng lied down on the bed, trying to make a mess of the bed naturally.

Jaehyun’s smell.

Sicheng closed his eyes and breathe it in. It exactly gives me the feel of Jaehyun. Sicheng roughly rubbed the tears away. He thought of Jaehyun’s words earlier.

 

> "This is not a game, Sicheng. This is not a game like you and I playing this whole time that if you are in the mood, you played with me and when you are not in the mood, discard me like a used thing”

 

I did not discard him. He is the one playing with me. He is the one playing with both me and his ex.

 

Sicheng saw earlier. He was mad that Jaehyun is making Taeyong mad. He was mad when Jaehyun said Taeyong is capable of writing his own rap.

This is my song.

Sicheng bites down his lips.

Should I have let Taeyong write? Is Taeyong really good?

Sicheng regretted that he acted out rashly and gave Jaehyun Kun’s card.

 

Kun would be mad if he heard about this.

 

Sicheng quickly get up from bed. He is supposed to leave. He is supposed to get away from Jaehyun, Johnny and everything. Because rich people are all the same. He can’t pray Jaehyun will be exception. Just like Johnny did to his sister, Jaehyun will leave eventually.

 

What the hell am I doing? I should be going.

Sicheng got up quickly, went into the bathroom again to wash his face. He takes his bag and again in the living room. He looked around the room, there is them everywhere. They are watching TV together on this couch. They were making out on this couch or the floor near the couch.

Sicheng shook his head. He needs to get his head clear. He walks towards the door and opened it. Before leaving and closing the door, he looked back one last time.

 

It’s when the phone starts ringing. The flash lights from the telephone is on and off multiple times showing that it is ringing. It is like a joke. He is deaf. What could he do with a ringing phone?

Who could that be?

Sicheng walked towards the phone. The phone stopped ringing. He looked at the phone and he saw there are multiple messages sent.

I really should go.

Then his mobile started to vibrate against his jeans pocket.

Johnny?

Johnny is video calling him. Sicheng frowned in confusion. Johnny did not say a word to him when he is dropping him off to the studio but now?

 

Sicheng answered the call. He normally would not but something is not right. He can feel it. He can’t pinpoint that feeling exactly but he knows. He somehow knows. Johnny just confirmed it.

“Sicheng, I will text you the address of the hospital. Jaehyun is hospitalized. We got into the car accident.” Johnny looks terrible. He got a bandage wrap on the head, his left hand is stained with blood.

What the fuck happened?!

“Come. Quick.”

Johnny hung up. Sicheng did not even have a chance to say anything.


	15. Quince

It is when the reality hit Sicheng, everything goes white. His knees weakened and he fall onto the ground. The image of bloody Johnny is replaced by Jaehyun. The only difference is Jaehyun is in worse situation. Sicheng gasps. His legs aren’t moving but he has to go.

Jaehyun-ah, please be safe. Please.

 

It is a miracle itself, how Sicheng got to the hospital. His eyes shot one corner to another. Everyone is wearing the same. Every patient is in the same pain. Sicheng sees Jaehyun in everyone of them. His mind constantly worried over how much Jaehyun might be in pain.

 

A hand touched his shoulder. He turns around to see Johnny.

“Come with me.”

Johnny walks quickly as Sicheng follows.

The words on the door screams insides Sicheng. I. C. U. Jaehyun is in ICU? What happened?

“Johnny. What happened? Is he hurt badly?” Sicheng voice shook. He tries to control as much as he can but he can’t just help.

“After you left, he wanted to follow you. He wanted to stop you from going back to Hong Kong. Are you really going to leave Jaehyun?”

 

No.

Yes.

I don’t know.

 

Sicheng looks at Johnny. He could see the pain in Johnny’s eyes. But he doesn’t know if he wants to answer Johnny’s question. Sicheng still thought of his sister. He still felt the pain in his chest when he looks at Johnny but right now, all he could thought about is Jaehyun.

 

“Is he going to be fine?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. There’s so much blood. He speaks of your name even before he lost conscious.”

Jaehyun speaks my name? It’s like something is pinching his heart. He felt the ache. And his tears coming out. He covered his face with his hands, Sicheng swallows his tears. He won’t fall apart in front of Johnny. He won’t.

“Sicheng.” Johnny touched Sicheng hand to get his attention because Sicheng was looking away. In this moment, Johnny knew Sicheng might feel something for Jaehyun. Even if Sicheng’s feelings are real, Johnny wouldn’t dare risk his friend’s heart on stake.

 

“If your feelings for Jaehyun are not real, leave now. Leave now and I will let him know.” Johnny stared into Sicheng’s eyes. Johnny didn’t like what he see. The wavering, the deep thoughts and so many mysterious feelings he has no idea of.

Sicheng got up.

Really? Johnny looked at Sicheng who’s now turning his back to Johnny. Johnny never thought Sicheng really would leave. Johnny only wanted to see his reaction when he said those things.

 

“Whatever I feel for Jaehyun, it’s between me and Jaehyun.” Sicheng left. Sicheng acted like Johnny words did not affect him. But it’s like an echo in his head.

My feelings? Jaehyun-ah, how do I tell you my feelings? How do I explain in words when even I don’t understand.

Sicheng gripped his hair on the head. He doesn’t know anything anymore.

He doesn’t want Jaehyun to get hurt. That, he knows.

He doesn’t want Jaehyun to get close to another guy. That, he also knows.

 

But, what do I want?

-

 

“What does he say? Where is he? Johnny, don’t make your face hard to read. Tell me.” Jaehyun said trying to stay calm on the bed.

It was Johnny’s idea to pretend to be sick on bed. When the accident happens, it was Johnny who took the most hit.

“He is still in the hospital for now.”

“For now? What do you mean for now? Is he going to leave? JOHNNY!” Jaehyun sat up immediately as he gets really impatient by Johnny’s unclear words. Jaehyun stopped in mid-motion as he felt the nauseated feelings in his head.

Jaehyun sat back down again. Johnny did not notice.

 

“Just see for yourself. He will come in visiting hours.”

“What? Not now? Why not now?”

“You are in ICU. ICU has visiting hours, stick to the plan. So, remember, you are a patient right now. You can’t speak, that will give away everything.”

“Fine!”

Jaehyun sulked as he lie down again. He knows Johnny is right he shouldn’t speak. If he speak, Sicheng would know because he can’t lie.

 

Johnny left without saying anything. He seemed to be in bad mood. Jaehyun doesn’t want to ask. He is also in bad mood. He’s glad that Johnny plan made Sicheng stayed. But what if Sicheng wants to leave again if he know I am lying?

 

A text came in.

 

Get ready!

 

Shit! Jaehyun cursed. What to do? What to do?

 

Just then, the doorknob turned.

Jaehyun closed his eyes, trying to keep his poker face. He is too scared and too nervous to open his eyes. He heard the door close softly.

 

Jaehyun tried to even his breathing. He tried to relax as he felt Sicheng sat down besides him. And then, out of sudden...

Sicheng is holding my hand!!!

Jaehyun control his reaction as much as possible. Even though he and Sicheng played around a lot more than holding hands, this felt so intimate.

“I’m sorry.”

Jaehyun’s heart tightened.

Is Sicheng crying?

 

He felt the soft lips barely touching his hand.

“I am sorry.” Sicheng is definitely crying. He felt the wetness on back of his hand. HE opened his eyes to see Sicheng sobbing quietly.

He didn’t mean to make him cry. But why is he crying?

 

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun called but Sicheng is not looking at him. He kept forgetting that Sicheng cannot hear.

Jaehyun lifted his hand, snuggling out of Sicheng’s to hold Sicheng’s face.

“Sicheng.”

“You’re awake? They said you’re gonna be out for the day.” Sicheng said his voice shaking a bit.

Jaehyun looked into Sicheng’s eyes. They are red and swollen from crying. How much did he cry exactly?

 

“Shh.. Why are you crying?”

Sicheng comes closer, his hand touching Jaehyun’s cheek.

“Your cheek is cold. Is it cold?” Sicheng asked, worry clouded in his eyes.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun held both of Sicheng’s hands. He stared into Sicheng’s eyes, Sicheng looked him back.

“I am fine.” Sicheng carefully inspected Jaehyun. Jaehyun smiled as he nodded. Jaehyun thought about telling him the truth but he decided not to. He can’t handle if Sicheng got mad over this. He likes this situation very much.

 

Sicheng’s gaze is loving when looking at Jaehyun. Sicheng’s touch is very soft on his face. Jaehyun wants it there forever. But he wasn’t lucky.

“Earlier, about the contract… I will try to fulfil it.” Sicheng’s hand is now on his own lap. Jaehyun missed the warmth immediately.

“Sicheng, don’t worry about it. I was wrong. I…”

“Actually, I am leaving.”

 

What? Jaehyun couldn’t understand.

“Here, they are very precious to me. During the time you were in the hospital, I read the contract very thoroughly because I hadn’t had the opportunity before.” Sicheng put down the sheets on the table. They were his music notes, the songs he wrote.

No. You don’t mean it, Sicheng. No.

Oblivious to Jaehyun’s hurt feelings, Sicheng continued.

“As per contract, you will help me produce two songs with full length promotions. Even I don’t understand what kind of promotions you will run, I trust you. Here, the two songs I worked on. They are really precious to me, so… please bring them to a lot of people.”

 

Jaehyun knew his fault then. Just playing a trick on Sicheng won’t make him stay. His fault has already done it’s job. It pushed Sicheng away. It pushed Sicheng to leave. It’s all his fault.

“When are you leaving?” Jaehyun asked quietly. His eyes hurt as he tried not to cry.

“Tonight flight, I am leaving for Hong Kong. Rest, you must be very tired.” Sicheng mistook Jaehyun’s quietness as sickness and tiredness.

“Thank you for being the best host during my short trip to Seoul. I… I had really fun.” Sicheng sat up, not knowing what to do exactly.

“Get well soon. Goodbye, Jaehyun-ah.”

 

It was such a painful experience.

I never know I could get hurt this much. I never really know my heart could feel such pain.

Jaehyun’s heart broke along with the sound of door shutting close. That was it? That was it for Sicheng? A short trip to foreign country? And he had fun? It wasn’t only ‘fun’ for Jaehyun.

For Jaehyun, it was something more. It was something much, much more than ‘just fun’ but maybe it is one-sided.

 


	16. The Right Choice

Sicheng couldn’t walk. He closed the door behind him but his legs won’t move. Jaehyun doesn’t look bad and he’s glad. When Sicheng walked into Jaehyun, he didn’t expect Jaehyun to wake up. He only wanted to see Jaehyun one last time.

He was so confused with revenge and feelings that he shouldn’t feel. But he is sure of one thing now. He can’t see Jaehyun got hurt.

That unusual pain in his chest while waiting for the news of Jaehyun finally being alright, he never wanted to experience it again. And this accident happened while chasing him to airport. He can’t be the one responsible for another death. It is awful enough that he is keeping Jaehyun by his side just to seek revenge for his sister. And if he died on him… he might really get crazy.

 

Sicheng can’t be here. He can’t be near Jaehyun.

“Hello? Kun. I am coming back.”

 

-

“It’s been three days.”

“What?” Jaehyun shrugged boringly.

 

Johnny doesn’t understand what actually had happened between Jaehyun and Sicheng but he knows something is wrong. Jaehyun is being very cold towards everything which is really not like Jaehyun he knows. He put a stop to the song Sicheng left. The promotions are still idle.

 

“Taeyong called me.”

That gets Jaehyun’s attention. Because Taeyong does not call Johnny. No means no.

“Why?” That little reaction died fast.

“He wants to know when you are gonna continue working on the song.” Jaehyun did not even react. But if his eyes getting colder would count as a reaction, it is.

“That project is cancelled. I already let the Producer know.”

“And that goes well right? He kicked you out of the studio.”

 

“I already decided, Johnny. Drop this. This project is done.”

Jaehyun sat up from the coffee table. They were having breakfast at Jaehyun’s apartment because Johnny can’t get Jaehyun out. Ever since Sicheng left for Hong Kong, Jaehyun is like this. Crunky and irritating.

 

“Jaehyun,”

 

The door busted open.

“JUNG JAEHYUN.” Johnny was so shocked that he ducked under the table. Jaehyun stood there wide eyes looking at the person barging into his apartment.

“Taeyong? Why…”

“You think singers are so easy, huh? You said you wanna work with me for one minute and next minute you stopped coming, not caring one bit about other people’s feelings.”

Taeyong shouted at Jaehyun out of nowhere. He didn’t even breathe in the middle of his little speech.

 

“Taeyong, coffee?” Jaehyun asked nonchalantly.

“Coffee? You think I am joking?” Taeyong took in a large breathe. He sounded mad and he looked mad.

“No sugar and lot of milk right? Have a sit.”

 

Taeyong rolled his eyes as he sat on the couch.

“I am not accepting this. We worked our ass off on this song. I love this song. I have to sing this song.”

“Yes, I am not usually on the same page with him, you know. But I agree with him on this one.” Johnny give Taeyong a look as if Taeyong made him eat shit or something.

“Jaehyun, this song should be released. This song deserved recognition from public.”

“You two, have sex or make-out or something if you’re bored. Don’t bother me. Here’s your coffee”

 

“I know talking you out of this would be a pain in ass. That’s why I book two tickets to Hong Kong. Tomorrow morning. Pack your bag. We are going after Sicheng.”

“Two? You and Jay?” Johnny frowned.

“What’s wrong with it?” Taeyong looked back at Johnny.

“No way. You have no business with that Chinese. Do you even know him? Besides his name, obviously.” Johnny snorted as he found Taeyong ridiculous.

“We have the songwriting as common ground.” Taeyong defended himself. He met Sicheng only a few times but he only saw him as musical genius.

“Common ground, my ass. The main reason he left is because of you.”

 

“JOHNNY!” Jaehyun yelled in warning but the damage is done.

 

“What?” It’s time for Taeyong to freak out.

“Johnny, for goodness sake…” Jaehyun sighed out loud. He did not tell a thing about his argument with Sicheng to anyone but Johnny.

“I understand that we don’t really talk anymore, Jaehyun. But this is wrong. I should know things that concerned me. The song is concerned with me. I have a right…” Taeyong stopped breathing to speak really fast again.

“Freak, calm down. It’s not directly about you. It’s just…” Johnny rolled his eyes at worked-up Taeyong.

 

“No, Taeyong. This really doesn’t have anything to do with you. Sicheng and I… we are… we are done. Yeah, we are done. So, he is in Hong Kong, living his life and I’m here. Living my life.” It’s the most Jaehyun talked in these days. Jaehyun averts his gaze from them as if he’s tired of them.

“You called that ‘living’?” The sarcasm flows from Johnny. Taeyong curiously looked at Jaehyun as he observed him. Jaehyun is really heart-broken.

Jaehyun did not even react to Johnny. He just sat there.

 

“I can fix this if Sicheng…” Taeyong couldn’t finish what he was saying.  
“Leave it. This is not about you.” Jaehyun meant what he said. Sicheng and he might fight over who should write the raps but this is not why Sicheng left. Jaehyun knows it for a fact.

“I wish I could do. I wish I could not care, you know what? I can’t. I care. I care a lot about you! Don’t mistake my good intention for something ridiculous as my feelings for you.”

“Really? Are we discussing about this now?”

“Shut up!” Jaehyun said with annoyance. He understands why Taeyong is so pissed right now. He knew Taeyong cared about him. It’s been like this since before.

 

“Look, Jaehyun. I don’t know what happened between you and Sicheng. I don’t want to know either. I just… I just want you to find your happiness. For a moment, I thought… I don’t know. I was a little bit sad. But I’ll be fine if you are happy. And I can’t be the only one who wants you to be happy. You have to want for it yourself too.”

Jaehyun is silent now. He looks down on the ground.

“Here, the flight is tomorrow. With or without you, I am going to Hong Kong. I am talking the shit out of Sicheng if this is what it takes for me to be able to release this song. I meant it, Jaehyun.” Taeyong put the ticket down on the table. He drown the coffee as he give a dare look to Jaehyun. Taeyong left, no one sent him to the door.

 

“I hope you make the right choice.”

The door shut close behind Taeyong. He said all he could say. Taeyong bites down his lips as he walked away from Jaehyun’s apartment.

He was lying when he said he will be fine. He doesn’t know if he is going to be fine with Sicheng and Jaehyun. But Jaehyun needs Sicheng to be fine, to be able to smile again. Him? Who gives a fuck about him?


	17. Diecisiete

Taeyong felt like he crossed a line yesterday at Jaehyun’s place. He regretted that he spend this much money on him. He made the decision on a whim and now he felt like going back home and sleep in.

What am I thinking? I can’t even speak Chinese.

 

“Having second thought already?”

 

Taeyong smiled with relief and joy. He turned around to see Jaehyun but… there’s also Johnny.

“What are you doing here?” Taeyong eyed Johnny. He doesn’t mean to sound disappointed but he is.

“Why you looked at me like I have murdered someone? Of course I am coming. There’s no way I would let Jay go with you alone.”

“What does that supposed to mean?” Taeyong cannot handle this new arising irritated feeling.

“Idiot. It means I don’t trust you alone with Jaehyun.”

Taeyong scoffed and went away from Johnny. Johnny just kept on coming on his nerves.

 

“Johnny! Don’t be a jerk.”

“Now who’s telling who?”

Jaehyun gave Johnny a dirty look as he walked towards Taeyong.

 

“Taeyong?”

“WHAT?!” Taeyong snapped.

 

“I’m sorry… I am just… he’s just. What is it?” Taeyong is quick to apologize. He doesn’t meant to shout at Jaehyun like this.

“I know, Johnny is sometimes unbearable. But most of the time he’s a good guy.” Jaehyun try to make Taeyong less angry but he doubt he is much of help.

“If you want to talk about Johnny, give me all of his gross things. I’m all ears. If you are here to talk about how great a person he is, you can keep it to yourself. I am not interested.” Taeyong’s reply just confirmed it.

“No. I just… about this trip… Taeyong, thank you for doing this for me. Back then, I know we were stupid and young. We took off with a wrong foot. I want to fix all this.” Jaehyun get to what he want to say. Johnny can take care of himself.

 

“Fix what?”

“Us.” Taeyong almost dropped his bag. He doesn’t want to show his uncontrollable heartbeating. Jaehyun can’t mean this.

“Jaehyun,...”

 

“I want us to be friends.” Taeyong’s hands gripped his bag tight again. Friends. Of course, Jaehyun does. They weren’t on the same page back in the days they were together. Taeyong supressed the rising feelings down again. He smiles. Genuinely.

“I thought we are already friends.” Taeyong put up one hand, waiting for the other palm to hit. Jaehyun doesn’t miss a beat as he highfive Taeyong.

“Thank you.”

Taeyong smiled and shook his head, showing it’s okay. Taeyong looked down at his hand which Jaehyun left some warmth of his behind.

It was Taeyong.

It was him who let go of this beautiful hand 2 years ago.

-

 

### Two years ago

> It’s already a month that they dated. They are happy together. When Taeyong practise singing, Jaehyun wrote song lyrics and composed music. Jaehyun was firm when Taeyong is soft. Jaehyun was the heat when Taeyong is cold.
> 
>  
> 
> “I was thinking… I want you to meet someone.” Taeyong did not stop his hands caressing Jaehyun’s head which is resting on Taeyong’s lap.
> 
> “Someone?”
> 
> “I wanted you to sing for people.” Jaehyun said sleeplily. This feels really good. Taeyong always does this for him whenever they are at Library.
> 
> “What does that mean?”
> 
> “I talked to some Producer. He said he will make time for you.” Jaehyun opened his eyes to look at Taeyong.
> 
> “PRODUCER? Like a music producer who produce music for idol groups?” This makes Taeyong’s hand stopped.
> 
> “Do you want the defination for producer, I can find it for you. Yes, yes. I told you my family is in Music Industry. He’s someone a little closer than others. He treat me really well.” Jaehyun got up from Taeyong’s lap.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t know.”
> 
> “Come on Taeyong. He’s great. And you’re good. I believe he would be thrilled to meet you.”
> 
> “Do you really think so?”
> 
> “Yeah. Of course.” Jaehyun gave Taeyong a soft kiss on the side of his cheek. Taeyong blushed. Taeyong is not good at such thing, such tender and sweet things. Even when they are alone, Jaehyun is the one who initiate. It doesn’t mean Taeyong doesn’t want to. He wants to. But Taeyong is really shy and embarrassed about it.
> 
>  
> 
> Contrary to Taeyong’s worries, things are going smooth. The Producer praise him a lot which is his honor. He is very thankful to the Producer but he felt like he owes it to Jaehyun. It is Jaehyun who recognized his talent and approved him of whatever decisions he made.
> 
> They are just out of the studio and ready to go home because it’s late. After sound testing and recording, it’s almost midnight.
> 
> Taeyong looked at Jaehyun, who is smiling at him proudly. Taeyong felt the ache in his chest. He doesn’t know why it feels so good to have someone who is proud of him. It feels so good that it hurts.
> 
>  
> 
> Without thinking, Taeyong pulled Jaehyun into a kiss, a heated and emotional kiss. Jaehyun pulled out of Taeyong breathlessly as he is amazed.
> 
> “What is… this for?” Jaehyun pants, trying to catch his breath.
> 
> Taeyong doesn’t know the answer. He acted out what he wanted to do. Taeyong smiled up at Jaehyun since he’s slightly taller.
> 
> “Thank you.” Taeyong said and hugged Jaehyun, resting his chin on top of Jaehyun’s shoulder. Jaehyun smelled really good. He wants to stay in this position forever. Jaehyun’s hand on his back, his cheek touching the exposed skin of Jaehyun’s neck and their bodies warm with each other warmth.
> 
> Taeyong thought he could stay like this with Jaehyun forever. He swore himself he will be with Jaehyun forever. But little did he know, forever is such a short time.
> 
> -
> 
>  
> 
> Taeyong tried to calm his breath. He is mad. He is angry. He wants to deny everything that woman who called herself Jaehyun’s mother is saying. But he can’t. Because as much as he hates to admit it, she’s logically right. He wanted to run away. But he also can’t.
> 
> “Do you understand the situation now?”
> 
> She hasn’t said one bad word about me yet, I felt like a trash.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t want to mingle with children’s things. You can choose. I will know whatever choice you made. I am afraid this little talk must end here.”
> 
> She stood up and left.
> 
>  
> 
> A choice? No, it is not a choice. It is an order. And if I did not follow her order, Jaehyun’s career as a producer is at risk. If I keep dating him, everything will be cut from Jaehyun.
> 
> He doesn’t want to be the reason of Jaehyun’s despair. He just want to be his lover. Just like Jaehyun support him, he just want to help Jaehyun in return.
> 
> “Let’s meet up.”
> 
> Taeyong sent a text to Jaehyun. He knows Jaehyun has a late class today so he went to the school gate to wait for him.
> 
>  
> 
> “Hey.”
> 
> Jaehyun finally came out. Jaehyun seemed glad to see him, Taeyong sadly thought. He already thought about what he will say to Jaehyun, how he will end this.
> 
> “Hey.” Taeyong waved.
> 
> “I thought we are meeting up tomorrow at your place.” Jaehyun immediately went close to Taeyong as he attempted to kiss him. But Taeyong quickly moved away from Jaehyun’s reach.
> 
> “I don’t have time tomorrow.”
> 
> “Yeah? Then, I…” Jaehyun is quick to agree but...
> 
> “I don’t think I have time the next day. Or the next day day ever.”
> 
>  
> 
> Taeyong stance is immediately firm. He did not alter his gaze. He stared right into Jaehyun’s eyes.
> 
> “What do you mean?” Jaehyun frown. He can’t believe what is happening right now. He never thought this day would come.
> 
> “Can’t you guess? You are not that stupid, Jaehyun.” The sound of Jaehyun’s name is not familiar when Taeyong spoke. Jaehyun knows what this conversation is leading into but he can’t believe this. Not now, not this moment.
> 
>  
> 
> “Are you breaking up with me?”
> 
> Taeyong regretted he decided not to look away from Jaehyun because Jaehyun’s eyes are now stung with tears that are threatening to fall down. He could understand the look in Jaehyun’s eyes. Because those are what he intended to make Jaehyun feel. If he doesn’t make this break-up believable, things will get even messier.
> 
> “In simple words, yes.” Taeyong ignored the protest of his chest.
> 
>  
> 
> “Why?” Jaehyun did not cry. That’s my boy. Taeyong is proud of his baby.
> 
> “Is that even matter?”
> 
> “Is it because of our last fight? Is it because I am too possessive? I am sorry. I just…” A tear fall down on Jaehyun’s face. Taeyong wanted to punch himself for making Jaehyun cry like this.
> 
> “No. Jaehyun. I am just too tired of you.” I didn’t mean this. I did not mean this. Taeyong said himself but Jaehyun couldn’t hear.
> 
> “What?” Jaehyun move away further, taking in fully of Taeyong.
> 
>  
> 
> “I don’t understand.”
> 
> “It’s supposed to be fun. It’s not. At first it’s fun, you know. Then, you got… you know too possessive.” Lovingly possessive. Taeyong is surprised of himself. He is totally getting Jaehyun.
> 
> “Stop. Just stop.”
> 
> Jaehyun turned around, giving his back to Taeyong. Taeyong knows for the fact that Jaehyun is now crying. And hurting. It is all because of him. Taeyong move away his eyes. He can’t stand the fact that he is the reason of all this.
> 
> “Are we done here?” Regardless of his pain inside, Taeyong seemed very cold and bored.
> 
>  
> 
> Jaehyun rubbed his face clean of tears.
> 
> “I hope you are happy.” Jaehyun did not look back as he walked away. He is not that good of person. He made sure he sounded sarcastic. And he left.
> 
> Because he did not look back, he did not see what is happening to Taeyong. Taeyong, who can’t no longer stand properly, slumped his body against the tree. Tears seemed unstoppable.
> 
> “I’m sorry. I love you. I’m sorry.”
> 
> These muttering while crying will never reach to Jaehyun.

 

-

Now everything is in the past. Now, I don’t even have a right to say those words. Now, I am helping him to find his happiness. Now, we are here, in Hong Kong.

 


	18. Eighteen

“Are you really gonna be like this?” Kun said. He really can’t stand when Sicheng is being like this. He has returned from Korea 4 days ago and since then, there hasn’t been a night that he’s sober. And now it’s only 4 in the evening yet, he started to drink.

 

“Hey! Look at me! Don’t play deaf person act with me, I have known you for 16 years.” Kun doesn’t know what is wrong. Before Sicheng had gone to Korea, he left a freaking voice message to let him know that he is going out of sudden. Of course Kun doesn’t believe but then, Sicheng proved him wrong.

“Go to hell, Kun. Leave me alone.” Sicheng pushed Kun face away. Even when he didn’t want to know what Kun is saying, he ended up looking at his lips and knew Kun cares about him.

“Hey! You go to hell. I am done patient with you. Tell me what is wrong and I will leave you alone if you still want me to.” Sicheng shook his head and sighed.

“You have no idea.”

“Correct, I have no idea. So give me some.” Kun said, not wavering a bit.

“Kun, I don’t know how to tell you all this. A lot happen.” Sicheng is starting to give in. Kun decided to push a final move on him.

 

“You can start with getting rid of this alcohol. I will make some tea and you will tell me from the start and everything to the end, ok?”

“Hey! Ok?” Kun said again when Sicheng doesn’t answer. But this time, he got an assuring nod.

 

Sicheng felt so light that he thought he could fly after that. Kun is a great listener. Kun knew exactly what buttons to push him. He told Kun about the conflict he is feeling. The disagreement of Jaehyun’s mother and the songwriting case. But he didn’t say anything about Johnny. Kun is also close with his little sister and Sicheng thought it would be for the best not to let Kun know of who Johnny is.

 

“I am not saying you are stupid but Xiao Cheng, you are stupid.” Kun said with a sigh. He doubted Sicheng is like this because someone broke his heart. Kun just doesn’t think that someone would be Sicheng himself.

“I am good now. I have no regrets.” Sicheng said and Kun does not believe a word of it.

“Bullshit.” Kun rolled his eyes.

“What?”

“I said bullshit. You said you’re good? No, you are in the worst situation I’d seen you in years. You have no regrets? Do you have any idea how many times you said sorry in freaking korean and chinese when you’re drunk in my house?” Kun gave a pointed look.

 

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“Again, bullshit! You are hurting and the worse thing is you are the one hurting yourself. Alright his mother is a bitch and that Jae-something is too soft. But you should have let him hold onto you. You should have listened to your heart. You obviously liked him. Well, still probably likes him. So, what are you really doing here?”

“Um, drinking tea?” Sicheng acted like he had no idea what Johnny is talking about but he know too well.

 

He knows he is not right leaving Jaehyun like this and sitting at home regretting. But… things are more complicated than he told Kun. He doesn’t want to upset Kun and Kun doesn’t understand why he is holding himself back. He doesn’t want Jaehyun to know about Johnny and his sister. He doesn’t want to see Johnny in Jaehyun’s life.

“Be serious, you dork!” Kun scolded but didn’t mean it.

“I am being serious. I don’t know anymore. Can I just drink my tea in silence? I need to think!”

“Whatever.” Kun decided to leave Sicheng alone. Kun believe Sicheng will be able to figure himself out.

 

“Are you coming with me tonight?”

“What?” Kun is about to leave but turned around to see what Sicheng is saying.

“I’m going to usual performance.”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah. You in?”

“Of course.” Kun smiled. It has been quite a long time that Sicheng played. Tonight is going to be lit.

 

-

 

Johnny is mad.

He is not okay with Jaehyun chasing Sicheng. He doesn’t want to admit it but he is sad. Jaehyun doesn’t need him anymore. Johnny looked at Jaehyun’s exciting face and glittering eyes but he is not getting it.

It’s just one trip to Hong Kong.

It’s just a few nights with someone random and how did Jaehyun get so obsessed with him? At first Johnny thought, it is just a fling and he will get over it. When Jaehyun said he and Sicheng is not okay, Johnny thought things are ending for good.

 

But Jaehyun is not. It is not ending. It is getting deep and messy. Jaehyun acted like he is in love with Sicheng and Johnny doesn’t believe it. He wants to make Jaehyun happy because usually, he’s happy when Jaehyun is happy.

But no, not now. He is not happy even when Jaehyun is happy.

 

“I am resting tonight. Maybe I will hit a club but I’m gonna rest first. What are you guys going to do?” Johnny ask casually. But he is afraid of the reply. He regrets that he said he is gonna rest. He doesn’t want to be alone.

“I am taking Taeyong for a tour. Rest. You looked tired.”

 

Johnny is not sure what Jaehyun is talking about. He is not tired. He is mad and maybe tired of being mad.

“A tour?” Johnny asked. He looked at Taeyong and he is gazing at Jaehyun with a smile on his face. Johnny knows what Taeyong is feeling. He can’t be like Taeyong. Right now, Taeyong is happy for Jaehyun. Jaehyun is his usual self again not like past three days, not talking, not Jaehyun.

 

“Why not let’s all hit a club? A tour is boring.” Johnny said waving a hand to the hotel manager (his father owns the hotel) that came and gave them keys of their suite to leave it on the table.

“It’s his first time here, right?” Jaehyun said, looking at Taeyong.

“NO club. NO drinking. Yes, it is also my first time.” Taeyong said and he gave a glance to Johnny. Taeyong is amazed how rich Johnny is. Taeyong sensed something is up with Johnny but he’s not sure why.

 

“Actually, I am going to that place where I met Sicheng.”

“How did you two meet?” It was Taeyong who asked, a little bit cheerfully.

 

“Duh. I am tired. I really don’t want to listen shits.”

“Then, don’t!. No one really is asking you to.” Taeyong doesn’t like Johnny attitude. No matter what is happening to him, it’s not okay to ruin others mood.

 

“Guys. Chill.” Jaehyun came in middle. Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do. He just wanted them to be in harmony.

“I’m sorry. I am just… I am just gonna rest.” Johnny took the key that is waiting for them and left.

 

“Johnny! Hey!” Jaehyun ran after Johnny. He can’t let things wrong with him. Johnny has this self-destructive mind. If he left Johnny alone now, he really is going to hit clubs till he passed on the road.

“Come on, man. Why are you so unhappy?”

“No. Everyone is happy. You are happy. Taeyong is happy. I… I don’t matter.” Johnny shrugged away. But Jaehyun is not letting go.

 

“Who said you don’t matter? Man, you’re my best friend.”

“I know. And I am here because of you.” Johnny said still not looking at Jaehyun but he is not trying to run either.

“That’s right. I appreciate that. So tell me, what’s wrong.” Jaehyun tried to

“Nothing. Nothing, Jay. I just… I am just being a dick, I guess.”

 

Jaehyun couldn’t deny and couldn’t agree. His lips twitched, trying not to laugh.

“Say something.”

“What?” Jaehyun finally laughs.

Johnny gives in. Laughs out loud.

 

“You’re a bastard.”

“No. You are.”

“You are!” Johnny punched Jaehyun’s stomach lightly but a little hard to make Jaehyun fake a shout.

 

“You guys, cool? There are people, you know.” Taeyong said. He is glad when he saw they both are ok.

“What are you doing over there?”

“Guarding our luggages? We have to take them with us to the room!” Taeyong said cluelessly.

 

“Dear, come.” Johnny said, hand signaling Taeyong to come.

“No. No. Not the bags. Only you.” Johnny said with a head-shake and click of tongue.

 

“I have a lot to teach you. But this is going to be it. Now, we are going to our suite! Not just the room. There’s a big difference. And this hotel? My family owns it. Do we need to carry the luggages in such five star grand hotel? Nope! We will ascend to our suite gracefully and the bags will follow us. That’s all you have to know. Now, let us go to our suite~”

 

Johnny took the clueless Taeyong away as Jaehyun follows with a laugh.


	19. Diecinueve

Johnny tried to speak but his mouth isn’t opening. He tried to say something about what happened in the hotel lobby but he’s… too embarrassed.

 

“I’m listening.” Jaehyun speaks up all of sudden and Johnny was so shocked he stood up suddenly.

“What? You scared the shit out of me.”

“Nothing. You are about to say something that’s why I said I am listening. So what is it?”

 

Jaehyun looked expectantly at Johnny who is now lowering his head and fidgeting. Johnny is always confident about himself and everything he does. This is rare of him to have this kind of unsureness for something.

“I didn’t mean to be a dick you know.”

 

“What?”

Johnny is speaking so softly and his voice almost became inaudible.

“Damn it! I am not noting this! You are going after that chinese guy tonight. You are going and I am not coming with you! Why? Because I am gonna have fun by myself.” Johnny said without a pause and breathe heavily as if he dropped everything that he has been holding for years.

“Uh… what?”

“I am not repeating this.”

Jaehyun laughs as he watched Johnny go. Jaehyun understands Johnny. After all, they have been friends for a lifetime.

 

What Johnny said about Sicheng, he had come to Hongkong for him but, what if Sicheng reject him. During the way here, Jaehyun realized that how much Sicheng is important in his life and he regretted everything he didn’t do to stop Sicheng from leaving.

He isn’t even sure Sicheng is going to be there, at the place where Jaehyun fell for Sicheng.

 

Please be there, Sicheng. I am coming.

-

 

It all happened so fast. Sicheng really regret that he let Kun go earlier when Kun said he will go buy something to drink. If Sicheng didn’t let Kun go alone, he wouldn’t be in this awkward situation right now. It is awkward and fluttering. His heart is beating like crazy.

 

What is he doing here?

Why is he here?

Is he here for me?

 

He doesn’t want to hope. Hoping hurts. Hoping kills. Everyday he hoped for Jaehyun to come find him. He never moves around. He always perform in that one place he met Jaehyun. And every night Jaehyun did not appear, it kills a little insides.

Now?

Now, when Sicheng least hoping Jaehyun to show up, he did. His heart is betraying him, being alive and well again. Too alive and too well for Sicheng. He didn’t know he is breathing. But then,

Sicheng remembered everything he said that day. The awkward feeling set in. Jaehyun is looking him like he, like… he doesn’t know. Why is Jaehyun looking at him like this? Like Jaehyun hasn’t seen him in many years and he is going to disappear if Jaehyun move his eyes even a little.

 

“Sicheng”

 

SHIT!

That’s when Sicheng lose his shits. He ran. He felt like a coward but he couldn’t mind that. The only thing he knew right now is, he did not want to meet Jaehyun. Well, at least, not now. He is not ready. Not yet.

 

Why is Jaehyun here?

Why is he running after me?

Why am I running?

 

Sicheng is so glad that he is deaf right now. He couldn’t hear anything. He just ran.

 

His legs are giving out. He is tired. He just ran without looking back. He doesn’t even know if Jaehyun is still following him.

Huh?

 

Sicheng paused with confusion and a little hurt. Jaehyun is nowhere to be seen. He looked right and left, back and forth. There’s no one.

Sicheng head is down. He felt like a disaster. And he is only the one to blame. He ran and no one chased.

Just when Sicheng is about to cry, a pair of strong arms hold him tight from behind. Everything is inaudible. Sicheng is not fine with the fact that he is deaf in this moment. He knows it’s Jaehyun. Even though Sicheng couldn’t hear, he felt it. He felt Jaehyun’s heartbeat against him. He felt Jaehyun’s breath near his neck. He felt Jaehyun’s arms holding him so tight that he almost couldn’t breathe.

 

The emotions running in him is so strong. He didn’t even know he is crying till Jaehyun turned him around to wipe the tears off him with his hand.

“Don’t cry.”

 

Sicheng looked up at Jaehyun. When did Jaehyun look so tall?

“My heart hurts when you cried. So don’t.”

 

Everything melts. Everything insides Sicheng. His heart is no longer his. It’s as though even his internal organs are melting at Jaehyun’s words and the way Jaehyun is looking at him.

“I already gave you my songs.”

“What’s use of them without you? I am sorry. I love you. I love you, Sicheng. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you earlier. But I love you.”

The world is silent and yet screaming for Sicheng. He looked at Jaehyun and his eyes couldn’t believe. He is wrong. His eyes definitely have problems reading lips. Or he is in delusions.

Sicheng’s mouth is opened. He blinked and blinked again. Jaehyun is now smiling at him.

“I love you, Sicheng.”

 

That’s it! I am being delusional and it’s bad. Jaehyun is saying he loves me. Sicheng hasn’t been counting but he knew Jaehyun said that 7 times.

“Hello. I think… I… I have to go.” Sicheng tried to run again but this time, Jaehyun’s hands are faster.

 

“Sicheng. No. I am not letting you go. I am not letting run this time. Look at me.” Jaehyun took Sicheng’s face in his hand as he kissed him deep.

“I miss you. I miss you so much.”

Jaehyun kissed Sicheng again. Sicheng, this time, got no energy to resist as he returned the kiss. They kissed and kissed, not moving but their lips.

 

“Look at me. I love you. I want you to feel the same but it’s ok if it’s not.” Jaehyun is so closed. His lips are still wet from kissing.

“It’s ok. So please don’t run from me again. I will wait patiently. Till you are ready. So please, just stay by my side.”

Their foreheads met. Jaehyun sighs out, closing his eyes.

“I love you.”

Knowing, Sicheng is closing his eyes, Jaehyun muttered. It’s like he is releasing everything he compressed down at the bottom of his chests in one shot. His head is light. Yet, his heart is still heavy. He doesn’t know how Sicheng is going to response but… Sicheng kissed me. Sicheng’s face when he didn’t see me is hinting disappointment.

 

“Me too.”

A small voice came. Jaehyun immediately pulls Sicheng away and stared him down. But Sicheng is not looking up at him. He is still closing his eyes.

“I love you too.”

 

“Sicheng.”

“Jaehyun, I… I missed you too. I don’t want to run but I am scared.”

 

Jaehyun looked at Sicheng with confused eyes.

“What are you scared of? Trust me. Trust my love. I only love you.”

“It’s not you. It’s other people. I don’t want to say craps about how our lives are not the same and we are not supposed to be together but… it’s true.”

“Stop! You’re right. They are all craps. We are different, so what? Listen, babe, what’s important is… we love each other.”

Jaehyun kissed him again, not giving a chance to complain another word.

 

Sicheng did not dare believe this is happening. How did he ended in this? Sicheng wants to push Jaehyun away and tell him that this is not crap. This is real life. But the moment Jaehyun’s lips touch his, all of his reasoning seemed to dissipate. All he could feel is the softness of Jaehyun’s lips and sweetness of Jaehyun’s kiss. And the heat spreading insides like the eternal fire.

He just stopped worrying.

 

For now, let’s just stay in the moment

* * *

 

we love JaeWin <3 97 liners <3


	20. Not all Fates are beautiful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Few people have ill-fated relationship

It seemed like I worried for nothing.

Taeyong looked at the couple reuniting in front of him. He was worried when Jaehyun lost the sights of Sicheng. It was him who found Sicheng. When he saw Sicheng looking for Jaehyun who is not in his sight, he felt glad. He was worried about Jaehyun having one-sided feelings. Because he knew the pain of unrequited one-sided love. He experienced it.

Taeyong doesn’t know if he still is in love with Jaehyun. He cared about him. But his chest seemed to feel less pain right now than then. Then, he couldn’t see Jaehyun. The guilt that he wasn’t strong enough for them haunt him every night. He practised dance harder, rap harder every time he felt like his chest is going to torn into pieces.

 

When they kissed, Taeyong finally turned his back on them. He can’t do this. He thought he already let go of the past but… maybe not really. He can deal with the idea of Jaehyun being with another man but, he can’t do this. He can’t see them being in love and be fine with it.

Taeyong walks the unfamiliar road. He really has no idea of where he is.

He decided to call Johnny.

 

“WWYATTT?”

It is so noisy. He probably could be at club.

“I don’t know where I am.”

“What? Say louder, I can’t here. Waitt…”

The music pumping through the phone. Taeyong felt the headache even when he isn’t there.

 

“Say it. What’s up?”

“I am lost.”

“Huh? Where are you?” Johnny asked, starting to worry.

“I don’t know. Where are you? I am on some main road, can grab taxi and come to you.”

“Ok, I will text you the address.”

 

A text message comes. Taeyong quickly take a taxi. He really wants to escape somewhere right now. He hates noisy places but right now, clubs are still better than nothing.

The place is not far. Johnny is waiting for him outside. That was very considerate of Johnny and Taeyong appreciated it immediately.

 

“Hey!”

Taeyong is about to pay the driver then one man dressing in expensive clothes interrupted him. Taeyong glances at Johnny who’s now frowning at him.

“What are you doing?” Taeyong looked at the strange man who is now unwantedly close to him.

That man is saying some gibberish and his breath is foul. Taeyong helplessly looked at Johnny who is walking to them.

 

That stranger is trying to grab his shoulders and touch him in inappropriate places. Taeyong pushed him. It wasn’t forceful but that stranger lost balance and his other friends are coming at them.

 

Johnny also arrived and they started to shout in chinese which he doesn’t understand. One of them started to handy and touchy. They are getting ruder by second.

Taeyong didn’t know what to do except standing there uselessly.

“Help!” He shouted in English. As soon as he shouted, one of them punched him in the jaw and it was so unexpected that Taeyong took the blow hard.

 

“Shit!” Johnny also ran to that man that punched Taeyong and punched him in the face. It was a fight quickly and soon they get attentions of the security.

They were secured by so many tall securities. That drunkers started a fight is now passed out on the ground and Johnny is the one dealing with securities. He made a call.

 

“What is going to happen to us?” Taeyong asked.

“Nothing. Wait for my lawyer to arrive.”

“Your.. what?”

“Lawyer! I just called him.” Johnny said as if nothing is wrong.

“This is Hong Kong! You have a lawyer in Hong Kong?” Taeyong still can’t grasp the situation. They just were in a fight. The big and tall security men are surrounding them so that they couldn’t escape. The drunk men that got them into a fight with them is passed out on the dirty ground and no one cares.

 

“Taeyong, just so you know. My family is one of the richest family in Korea and also maybe in Asia. You need to stop surprising every time I mentioned something like this. Of course I have my own lawyer here. The hotel business is about to be mine.” Johnny is surprised at himself. He never really talked about his family business in such a positive way. Maybe it’s about Taeyong.

The air around Taeyong is warm and comfortable.

 

“This is… just like TV series. I have watched once Boys over flowers…”

“Stop! I am nothing ruthless like those flowers guys in melo-drama.” Johnny laughed as Taeyong is not kidding. His eyes are so wide. He really seemed to be in fascinated by the fact of his life.

“Well, for me, it sounded the same.”

“Stop it. You’re making me embarrassed.” Johnny said. He couldn’t shrug this feeling off. Taeyong isn’t like others. Johnny kept wanting to tell Taeyong things. And he never had such conversations. Jaehyun is his only real friend. Jaehyun also is like him so they didn’t talk about money and stuffs. And other friends who aren’t rich like them, those friends are always trying to put up with him. Trying to butter him up.

Taeyong… even though he never likes Taeyong, mainly because of Jaehyun, this time it’s like he saw Taeyong for who he is.

 

Taeyong is… funny and curious and soft. And his eyes. It’s the first time Johnny looked at Taeyong so close. So close and his eyes are so big. So beautiful.

Johnny shook his head. Is the alcohol talking? Johnny was saved by the arrival of his lawyer.

“Dude! You got yourself in trouble?”

“Hey! You’re late.” Johnny got up and shook hands. That lawyer doesn’t come alone. There’s another person that is staring at Johnny. Taeyong found it weird. Because Johnny didn’t even notice that person’s presence.

“I came as fast as I could so, explain me what’s the situation here?”

“They started to annoy my friend here. One of them punched him first. And this mess happened.”

 

And then, he noticed that Taeyong had been staring so their eyes locked. He acted like nothing’s wrong and nod at Taeyong. Taeyong returned the nod as he is confused.

“They will handle from here. Let’s go.” Johnny said as Taeyong shook his uncomfortable feelings away.

 

Johnny and Taeyong left. They didn’t get into the bar. They left with the car He comes. Kun couldn’t move his gaze away.

It was him. It was Johnny.

“You were his personal lawyer?” Kun asked his friend. He was with his friend when Johnny called. And he knew he was no longer wanted after Sicheng called that his lover boy from Korea is here. That is why he was hanging out with his lawyer friend. So he was bored and he tagged along his friend.

“Not exactly. You ever heard of Dynasty Hotel chain?”

“Yeah, it’s famous.” Kun nodded.

 

“My law firm worked for the CEO. The whole law firm I mean. So when the junior CEO summoned, one of us has to go. Well, he isn’t so bad actually. He is great. Just sometimes, he got us coming for such trivia matter and I get annoyed but that’s what I do.”

“Your law firm? I just joined you last month.” Kun couldn’t believe what he just heard. That means...

“Right! You have been going solo for many years I forgot that. Right! You worked for them, pretty much.” His friend had no idea. No idea what history he had with Johnny. Well, not directly. But Sicheng. His best friend. That one friend he had been in love with for decades. And Sicheng’s sister was…

Kun felt the nauseated feelings rising. He was horrified at fate.

 

I worked for Johnny’s family?


	21. Veintiuno

How does anyone ever lived with the feelings of guilt? Kun doesn’t understand. Because the guilt of the fact that he worked for the family that destroyed his best friend’s family is eating him alive.

He couldn’t focus on anything.

He stared at his phone which is dialing the Sicheng’s number, waiting for him to pick up.

 

“Hello? Can you leave message? Video call is… umm… a little inconvenient.” A little out of breath, Sicheng answered.

What the…

Is that… Are they… having sex?

 

Kun immediately ended the call. He clearly heard Sicheng moan right before the call ends. Oh My God. He put his head between his head, trying to shake off things he wildly imagine just now. Sicheng slender boy, his back arching and wanting to be touched…

No!

 

That’s not why he called. That’s not what he had in mind when he called… God.

Johnny can wait. He have to do something about his sudden erection.

 

Damn!!!

 

-

“What are you… you are being indecent.” Sicheng tried to push Jaehyun away but Jaehyun is not letting him.

“Didn’t you like it a lot when I’m being indecent?” Jaehyun slightly pushed his fingertip inward, teasing Sicheng. Instead of pushing Jaehyun, Sicheng tried to bury deeper but Jaehyun isn’t letting him.

“Uh.. Jaehyun. Please.” Sicheng wants to feel Jaehyun insides him. He is already hard. He wants more.

“Please what? Babe, you need to be clearer.”

“Please, insides.” Sicheng can’t stand anymore. He needs Jaehyun desperately. Jaehyun kisses him all over and those tingling sensations are making him more aching than usual.

 

“Uhnn…” Sicheng could only moan. His hands grasping the pillow under his head as Jaehyun inserted two fingers at once and triggering all the pleasure he’s been waiting for.

“You are too tight… too hot.” Jaehyun felt his own hardening. He wants to be insides Sicheng too.

 

Been too long. It’s been too long. Jaehyun could never let Sicheng go again. He wouldn’t. As soon as he is insides Sicheng, he almost come but he hold on. Sicheng hasn’t yet. He wants them to come together. His hand gripping the length as he thrust into Sicheng. Sicheng’s breathing labour.

“Jaehyun… It’s… uh… faster, yes.”

Sicheng is so closed. It is so intense he felt himself really close.

 

Jaehyun lips crashed on Sicheng’s. He kissed him brutally as his hips move faster and stronger. Sicheng tried his best returning the kiss but he is doing a bad job at it.

“Come for me. Do it.” Jaehyun’s lips rest on side of Sicheng’s face as he whispered the words into Sicheng’s ears. It’s not like Sicheng could hear but Sicheng felt it. He came.

 

“Jae…” Sicheng hold up his hands, pulling in Jaehyun and kissed him, slowly. Jaehyun’s hand hugging Sicheng slim body and lie down next to Sicheng.

It was the small bed. They didn’t know how they got in this position. Both of them are wet when they got to Sicheng’s place because of the rain. No, now Jaehyun know why they are in this position. It’s Sicheng and his fluffy hair. It’s Sicheng and his pouty lips. It’s Sicheng and his perfect little everything.

It’s not his fault that Sicheng is too precious. He just wanted to kiss him, just a taste. It just turned into thousand bolts worth as Sicheng started to unbuttoned his shirt and… here they are.

 

“We need to wash up.” Sicheng suggeseted. But Jaehyun still wants to lie in bed with him. Jaehyun missed Sicheng, incredibly so.

“Let’s just stay like this. I am tired.” Jaehyun close his eyes, knowing Sicheng would be looking at him he made his lips ready for a kiss. Sicheng laughed as he planted a kiss on Jaehyun.

“Come on, I need to call Kun back.”

“Why?” Jaehyun asked carefully at the mention of another Chinese friend that is a lawyer. Jaehyun didn’t forget the name. It’s the one that Sicheng mentioned before he went back here, Hong Kong.

 

“He tried to call. I still don’t know why.” Sicheng looked at Jaehyun who’s lying down next to him.

“Didn’t he leave a text?” Jaehyun asked. Texting is so convenient and not personal. Video call? Jaehyun realized he never did video call with Sicheng. Johnny mentioned that he did once. Even Johnny had done it. He hadn’t. He felt the tinge of jealousy hit him.

“We rarely do that. We only text things that are not important. Seeing that he didn’t leave a text, this must be serious, I guess.”

“You guess. That also might not be serious. Come on, let’s deal with him tomorrow. He is not running away. We are not running away.” Jaehyun tried to convince Sicheng that it’s okay even when he doesn’t believe himself. Sicheng isn’t convinced either, Jaehyun could say. But Sicheng isn’t pressing the matter.

Maybe he’s tired as well.

 

Jaehyun tested out a kiss. He let his hands roam around Sicheng while he kissed Sicheng tenderly. His lips didn’t act boldly but precisely to the places he knew Sicheng would love it. He’s right afterall. Sicheng melt into his kiss. They are both tired. But kissing didn’t take much of energy.

Jaehyun soothed Sicheng into sleeping. As long as Sicheng won’t think about this particular friend, Jaehyun is determined to distract Sicheng. But it’s nice to have someone in his arms while sleeping. Jaehyun planted a kiss on top of Sicheng’s head as they sleep.

 

_But if Jaehyun knew what tomorrow would bring, he wouldn’t be selfish and let Sicheng meet with his friend. If he weren’t so dumb and jealous, things wouldn’t be this bad. Now… Jaehyun regrets it._

 

* * *

no one can resist his charms T_T


	22. Twenty-two

Jaehyun felt the absence of body warmth next to him. He opens his eyes and see the blanket and the empty spot. Jaehyun can’t help but smile when he smelled the scent of delicious coffee and the sound of someone walking back and forth.

Sicheng must have preparing for breakfast.

Jaehyun now remembered last night. They fall asleep in each other’s arms. Jaehyun had made Sicheng fall asleep with him.

 

Jaehyun got up. He can’t wait to be near his love again. That’s it. This is love. This warm feeling, the pleasant smile that is on his face without him knowing and caused by the one and only redhead. Jaehyun is sure that he is in love. He is in love with Sicheng. He saw Sicheng from behind. The small, pleasant smile on his face grew larger. The short black pants Sicheng wearing looked really cute on him.

 

Jaehyun couldn’t keep his hands off Sicheng. His hands wrapped the small waist of Sicheng around from behind.

“Hey. Morning.” Sicheng smiled down at Jaehyun who is now resting his chin on Sicheng’s shoulders.

“What are you cooking?” Jaehyun asked.

“If you are going to stay at my back, I won’t be able to read your lips.” Sicheng teased. But Jaehyun felt like someone hit him in the face. He doesn’t want to mention this. Every time Sicheng made fun of being deaf, Jaehyun felt weird. It’s very admirable of Sicheng to be a musical genius and a lip-reader while being deaf. I mean who can read lips these days?

 

“Hey! What’s wrong?” Sicheng lower the fire as he turned around to face Jaehyun. Jaehyun didn’t notice he is out of it till Sicheng put his hand on his face.

“Nothing.”

Sicheng turn the stove off. Sicheng knew something is bothering Jaehyun. And he knew what exactly is.

“Should I not joke about me being deaf?”

“No.. Yes… I mean… I don’t know.”

“Hmm?”

“I don’t know. It’s weird unpleasant feeling. Whenever you made a joke out of this, I felt… I don’t like it.” Jaehyun is not looking at Sicheng. Jaehyun doesn’t want Sicheng to misunderstand him. When Jaehyun said he loves Sicheng, he loves everything about it. The way Sicheng look attentively at his lips whenever he’s speaking and the way Sicheng’s eyes turn dark when those desires took him over. He loves these little things.

But he wished Sicheng is not deaf just like everyone else. He wished he could cure his deafness.

 

“Jaehyun-ah,...” Sicheng called trying to lock eyes with him but Jaehyun is only looking at the ground.

“Jaehyun, look at me.”

Jaehyun’s head went up to meet eyes with Sicheng.

“I am ok. Being deaf sucks but it’s okay. I think it’s cool. Everyone is amused by the fact that I could play music and be deaf at the same time.”

“But…”

“I know. I wished I am not deaf too, just like everyone else. But I like being deaf. I could watch your lips all day and doesn’t look like a horny pervert.”

“What?” That’s when Jaehyun laugh.

 

“Finally you are smiling.” Sicheng smile and leaned into Jaehyun to kiss him. Jaehyun can’t believe this. He is holding such a beautiful man not only outside but also inside in his arms and he is kissing him. How come he becomes this lucky.

 

“Please don’t tell me you guys are still going at it.”

Kun entered the house unannounced. Kun sometimes lives there with Sicheng so it becomes hoby not knocking. Also, he was being impatient by his call being cut off last night.

“Kun.” Sicheng quickly pull himself from Jaehyun. Jaehyun glared at the stranger. He heard about the chinese lawyer friend of Sicheng but this is the first time they met. They already start off on wrong foot.

 

“You hang up on me.”

“Well, it wasn’t convenient.” Sicheng’s face reddened.

“You guys were having sex.” It wasn’t a question. Kun said it like a statement or for the fact.

“Yes, it was great. And afterwards, we were pretty worn out so… Hello. I’m Jaehyun. Sicheng’s boyfriend.” Jaehyun never said a harsh tone to strangers. But this Kun is… Jaehyun can’t act polite.

Kun’s stare is on Jaehyun and they stared at each other.

“Ok. Coffee? Anyone?” Sicheng said nervously. He noticed Jaehyun almost glared at Kun and Kun is a tiny bit away from insulting Jaehyun.

“Nope.”

“Yes please.”

 

The staring game starts again. It was Jaehyun who said no.

“We are going out.” Jaehyun said, his eyes not leaving Kun’s.

“Good. Let’s go.” Kun said without moving his eyes away from Jaehyun.

“Excuse me, who are you?”

 

It’s when Sicheng knows he had to butt in.

“Jaehyun, why are you being like this? Come on, I cooked for you. Let’s just eat here. Kun, can you come back later?”

“I have to introduce myself also. Even if I’m going.”

“Kun,” Sicheng sighed. Why did things become like this?

 

“How lively! It was tiring enough to come to this scruffy apartment. Please stop making noises over nothing.”

The three heads turned. All three of them know the woman. For Sicheng, he had met once. For Kun, he also had met once. Both of them had their unforgettable memories with this woman. For Jaehyun, it was unforgettable too.

That woman is his mother.


	23. Veintitres

Jaehyun regrets it.

But if Jaehyun knew what today would bring, he wouldn’t be selfish and let Sicheng meet with his friend. If he weren’t so dumb and jealous, things wouldn’t be this bad. Now…

 

His mother is sitting right there. Sicheng is still wearing that cute short black pant and Kun seemed weirded out. Him? He doesn’t matter. He is invisible. At least right now. His mother’s stare is boring on Sicheng.

“We met again. I was hoping we won’t.” His mother started.

 

“Mother, let’s talk.”

“We are talking here just fine. Seemed like you are still not bored of your plaything.”

“Sicheng is my boyfriend. I love him and he loves me.”

His mother’s eyebrow rise. This time she is wearing all white from head to toes. Even the hat she is wearing only for stylish reasons is white.

 

“I love him. Please let me be with him.” Slowly, Sicheng’s head went up and meet the eyes of Jaehyun’s mother. His mother is wearing a red lipstick with a perfect smirk.

“Hmm… you can be with him. Anyone can. A lot of people are sleeping around at this age. It’s no big deal.”

“Mother!” Jaehyun shouted, he immediately sat up in anger.

“Sit down! Behave! I didn’t teach you to be rude, did I?” His mother stren voice made Jaehyun sit down.

“I come here not to hear your unnecessary confession of stupid love. I have come to warn you again of what I said the last time.”

 

“I only will marry Sicheng. And no one else.”

“That is not your say.”

His mother gaze turns hard on Jaehyun, briefly she glared at Sicheng but her attention is now on Jaehyun. Jaehyun is strangely calm, Sicheng thought. He found Jaehyun really hot being calm about this situation.

But…

 

“I won’t marry with you.”

“What? Sicheng, what are you talking about?” Jaehyun is confused.

“I’m sorry. Jaehyun. I won’t get married with someone without parents consent. That’s the way of my family. Jaehyun, sorry but if your mother didn’t agree our relationship, …”

“Stop! Sicheng. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Let’s talk another time.” Jaehyun try to control himself. He can’t believe this… He never discussed this with Sicheng but, he thought… He just assumed.

 

Jaehyun’s mother is already smirking. She didn’t sit down instead, she move a little further from them, enjoying the conflict she caused.

“Son, you heard him. He said it with his own mouth that he will never marry you because I will never give my permission.”

Jaehyun is breathing so hard. He can’t say anything back to his mother. He needed to talk to Sicheng. He needed to convince him that they could live together away from everyone. They wouldn’t need a thing besides their love. His mother and everyone can go to hell and they will be together forever. He will make Sicheng happy. He knows he can make him happy. They will be happy.

 

“You little boy, if you ever need anything, anything, this is my manager’s card. That’s my payment for what you just said. Didn’t you say you wanna debut in Korea? Small thing. You need property, small thing. I hope you keep your promise. You keep your promise and my manager can provide you with anything.” His mother said those words like honey on the edge of sword. Sicheng didn’t pay attention as he looked at Jaehyun.

 

Worry and disappointment shined in Jaehyun’s pretty eyes. Even though he regretted he didn’t discuss this with the first time his mother appeared, he couldn’t marry Jaehyun. He is the last and only son in his family. And he really thinks marriage as a big deal. He won’t agree to marry easily or he won’t break the marriage easily.

 

“I will wait for your safe return.” Jaehyun’s mother knew that damage is already done. All she had to do is wait for the good news of her son returning to his normal self, obedient, silent and potential heir.

Jaehyun sighed out as soon as his mother stepped outside the apartment. He went over the window to make sure his mother left. How did his mother know of here? Jaehyun thought of Johnny but he quickly shook away the thoughts. Johnny is his best friend. He can’t be.

 

“That… That woman… That woman is Jaehyun’s mother? Biological mother?” Kun asked. If they weren’t in distress, Kun’s shaking voice would be questionable for everyone.

“Yes.” Sicheng nodded. He sat down at the table, prepare the breakfast as if there’s only the wind come and go.

“Does Jaehyun have any other sibling?”

“No. I’m the only son.” Jaehyun snapped. What’s with him? Jaehyun is not in the mood to answer trivia questions Kun had. He sat down on opposite of Sicheng.

 

“We need to talk.” Jaehyun said, getting angrier the minute Sicheng tried to play it cool.

“Breakfast first.” Sicheng spared a glance then lower his head down.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun called again. But Sicheng just staring at his breakfast and not responding.

 

“Sicheng. Look at me.” Jaehyun said as he moved to Sicheng’s side and knelt down, taking his shoulder to face him.

 

“I’m sorry. I… I love you.” Jaehyun froze. Sicheng is crying. Sicheng suddenly hug Jaehyun and buried his face on the crook of his neck.

“Shh! Sicheng, babe.” Jaehyun didn’t know what happened but he knew something is up with Sicheng. He knew something is up but he doesn’t know what. When Sicheng said he won’t marry him, Jaehyun thought it’s because he’s merely angry. His mother speaks so harsh, it’s reasonable that anyone would be angry. He too, was angry.

But now, Sicheng said sorry. Jaehyun isn’t sure why. He thought he had to say million words of apologies to make Sicheng agree to be with him but…

 

“You have nothing to be sorry about, ok. I love you too.” Jaehyun said even though he knew Sicheng would hear. He kept rubbing Sicheng’s back.

Again, Sicheng cried so quietly like last time. He hated his mother at this moment. She made his Sicheng cried.

 

Jaehyun clutched Sicheng in his arms, trying to let him know that he is going to hold onto him tight like this. Jaehyun didn’t know what will future brings. He is not interested in making empty promises. But he know for sure that he is going to wait for Sicheng. He is going to love Sicheng.

“I will never let you go.” Jaehyun whispered into Sicheng’s hair. Sicheng did not reply and Jaehyun didn’t expect anyway. But Sicheng held tightly onto Jaehyun as his tears slip away on Jaehyun’s clothes.

 


	24. Twenty-four

Kun just sat there in shock. He never really thought he would see this woman ever again. He couldn’t even believe this mother is Jaehyun’s mother.

He came to Sicheng’s house because he can’t stay still anymore. He wants to tell who he saw last night. The one that caused the tragedy of Sicheng’s family. It was Johnny. He was young and no more than a teenager. He remembered that woman as Johnny’s mother but today he just realized that woman is Jaehyun’s mother.

Sicheng didn’t know.

He looked at Sicheng who is now in the embrace of Jaehyun.

 

He felt sorry for them. There’s no way Sicheng would know the fact that it is Jaehyun’s mother who really destroyed his family. The memories engraved in him is too strong to forget. Kun quietly watched them. He wanted to comfort Sicheng who is crying but he has no right. He may have some rights as a friend. He can pat his back, say some words but unlike Jaehyun, he doesn’t have a right to kiss his neck, whispering the soft words into Sicheng’s ears.

He has no rights. None.

 

“Will you stay here? I have to go check on my friends.”

“Ok.” Kun said but his voice doesn’t come out. He nodded at Jaehyun. Sicheng is now in his room. He walked into the room and saw Sicheng sitting up with a blanket around him.

Kun turns on the lights.

 

“Are you ok?” Kun’s hands move.

They sometimes talked in silent with hand gestures. But Kun knows. Sicheng replied his question with a smile and he looked very sad even with a smile on.

“I am not sad. It’s just that… our lives are so different.”

Sicheng doesn’t sign. He speaks but he doesn’t look at anything in particular. He just stared into nothing.

“What if I were born into a rich family like them? Or what if he were born into normal family like me? Will we meet then? Will we fall in love with each other then?”

Kun wants Sicheng to look at him. He knows Sicheng has feelings for Jaehyun but he didn’t know it’s so deep.

 

“I wouldn’t change a thing. I wouldn’t change a fact about you. You are perfect to me.” Kun said and he meant every word. He wished Sicheng would look at him, just one glance and see his feelings. He didn’t want Sicheng to be with Jaehyun.

He made a move. The first move in many years. He compress his feelings for long but right now, he doesn’t want to. Kun leaned in. His lips slowly touch Sicheng’s lips.

 

“Kun!”

The moment Sicheng realized that his best friend for ages just kissed him.

“Sicheng. Wo Xi Huan Ni.” (A/N; wo xihuan ni = i like you)

Kun said and signed while holding eye contact with Sicheng. But the moment Sicheng look away and then looked at Kun again with sadness and guilt, he regretted it. He crossed the line. He crossed the line he never intended to cross for years.

 

“Kun.”

“Don’t worry. I just…” Kun wanted to deny it for nothing even though it is not nothing.

“How long?”

“What?”

Now they are communicating each other with sign language. Kun can’t look at Sicheng and Sicheng is looking at Kun. Sicheng wants to search for something he didn’t know. He always wonder why Kun always stay next to him. For Sicheng, Kun is like a brother, a friend and a home.

 

“It doesn’t matter. I was… I just don’t want you to feel sad over him.”

“Of course it matters. You are my friend.” Sicheng said with so much kindness. The more Sicheng did not blame him, the more shitty he felt.

 

“It wasn’t long… I just wanted to know if my feelings are that way or…” Kun lied. And when he saw the relief on Sicheng’s face, he is glad that he lied.

“I will deal with it. I lost control. I… I don’t want to lose you.” Kun continued with half-lies and half-truths. It’s best kind of lying, mixing truths in beneath lies.

 

“I don’t want to lose you too.” Sicheng rose from bed and hug Kun. Sicheng meant it. He really don’t wanna lose his only family now. His sister is in hospital, comatosed. Kun is the only one left.

 

“There is something… I haven’t told you. Actually, that’s why I called you last night. And… I don’t know if I should. I don’t want to lie and hide things from you and this is also serious.”

Sicheng is alert. Kun kept on hand-signing at him and sometimes met eyes with him. But just for a glance when Kun met his gaze, his eyes returned to the ground beneath.

“Okay…”

“I met Johnny.”

Sicheng did not expect this. He knew Taeyong and Johnny came with Jaehyun but… how?

“I saw him last night. I joined new lawyer team recently and it belongs to his family.” Kun finally said the thing that has been bothering him. He expects some sort of reaction from Sicheng but strange that he wasn’t surprised. Not to the extent Kun thought anyway.

 

“And this morning, that woman…”

“Jaehyun’s mother?” Sicheng asked. Sicheng wondered why Kun mentioned her.

“I had met her before, Xiao Cheng. Years back, with Johnny. I thought she was Johnny’s mother and then, she wasn’t. She is the one that met with your family that day. I’m sorry.” Kun looked at Sicheng carefully and dreadfully. Sicheng blinked once and twice. He is not sure… he is not sure how that could be.

Sicheng who always hated Johnny for what he did and Johnny’s family for what they did but now it wasn’t Johnny’s family. It was Jaehyun’s. Everything is wrong and everything hurts. Sicheng took a deep breath as his lungs screamed for oxygen and just then he realized he hasn’t been breathing.

 

“I’m sorry.” Kun said again, trying to get Sicheng to look at him, say anything. Anything.

Sicheng nods. He doesn’t know what else he could do except nodding. Jaehyun is… he still remember their kiss, he still remember his touch, he still… he still remembers and he is not sure if he will ever forget.

His mother face came to his mind. The devastating face when she found out about Xiao Mei and the hatred. Can he call the one that made their family like this ‘mother’ with respect and love? He cannot. He should not be doing this.

 

Sicheng doesn’t feel like crying because it’s numbing. Everything hurts so much. He thought even if he could forgive Johnny for what he did to his sister, he could never forgive his parents for stepping on their family’s pride. He will never forget his mother’s pain of losing her daughter, her husband and her self-worth.

To his parents, he wasn’t a filial son. To his sister, he wasn’t a good brother.

 

But… it needs to change.

It has to end.


	25. Veinticinco

“That was nothing!”

“That was a mistake!”

 

“What mistake?” Jaehyun heard it the moment he stepped out of the elevator and headed to their suite.

“Jaehyun!” Taeyong’s head snapped to where the voice came from. He wasn’t expecting Jaehyun to show up.

“Wussup!”

 

“What are you guys doing?” Jaehyun asked. It’s late morning and they looked like they just woke up.

“I… um… the thing is… I…”

Jaehyun frowned as Taeyong couldn’t find words. He looked at Johnny and Johnny just shrugged.

“Where did you come from? Did you score last night?” Johnny tried to change Jaehyun’s attention from Taeyong. Taeyong almost looked like he murdered someone last night and he’s about to get questioned from a police.

 

“Let’s not joke. I just met my mother.”

“No joke? She even followed you to Hong Kong? Man!”

“I am fine. I am used to it but Sicheng, things are starting to get complicated. I don’t know anymore.” Jaehyun rubbed his face with his hands. He really seemed tired and worn out.

“Let’s sit down first? Okay? Tell us in details, slowly.” Taeyong’s hands embrace Jaehyun’s body as he lead Jaehyun to the room.

 

A hint of jealousy flashed through Johnny’s eyes but only for a moment. Johnny felt it regardless. He wasn’t sure it was for Jaehyun or… He shook his head. Get yourself straight! Your best friend needs you!

Johnny followed them to the room, with confusion in his heart.

 

-

“What are you doing?” Kun said with a sigh. He knew Sicheng won’t be able to read his lips so he pulled Sicheng’s hands and caught them in his hands.

“What are you doing?” Kun said impatiently. He couldn’t understand Sicheng. It’s not the person he fell in love with. The person right in front of him wasn’t the same person he knew since childhood.

“I’m packing! I have to go to Korea with Jaehyun.”

 

Even the name hurts and unfamiliar to Sicheng. It’s full of memories. Sicheng doesn’t think he will be able to call or mention Jaehyun’s name without thinking about what their family suffered at Jaehyun’s mother. His own mother. Sicheng closed his eyes, swallowing back the urge to cry.

Crying is no use. Crying won’t make things better. It will only hurt him more.

“Right now?”

“Sicheng… what is it?” Kun doesn’t feel good about the sudden change in his friend’s attitude. He doesn’t like the look in his eyes. He doesn’t like the sound of his voice. Sicheng felt like a stranger.

“Come with me.”

“Huh?” Kun is dumbfounded. He knows Sicheng will leave with Jaehyun sooner or later but he never expects Sicheng to invite him as well.

 

“I say… come with me. It’s okay if you don’t want to. But… come with me. I don’t want to go alone.”  
“Why would you be alone? Jaehyun will be there.” Kun gestured Sicheng back. They are communicating with ASL.

“Still, I want my best friend to be with me.” Kun is confused. He doesn’t like how Sicheng is reacting. He can understand Sicheng that the fact about Jaehyun’s mother doesn’t make his mind change about Jaehyun. But this… Kun didn’t know what he expects of Sicheng but this ain’t that.

“I don’t know…”

 

Kun looked at Sicheng. He is worried about his little friend. He doesn’t want to come between Jaehyun and Sicheng. But Kun felt like he will more be at ease when he can see how Sicheng is doing with his own eyes.

“Okay…” Kun said and Sicheng smiled. It was a smile that doesn’t reach Sicheng’s eyes. Kun doesn’t notice as he nervously looked around. It will be the first time for Kun to go to some foreign country with Sicheng.

Kun doesn’t know what to feel anymore.

 

They packed. And they waited.

Kun just do what Sicheng wants to do and Sicheng still is acting strange. He doesn’t seem excited about going to Korea but he insisted that he must. Kun doesn’t know what Sicheng is thinking but maybe he is considering Jaehyun’s feelings. Practically, it’s Johnny who played the part in Sicheng’s sister life. And it’s Jaehyun’s mother who played a part in ruining his family. Jaehyun is just… being the son and the best friend. Jaehyun won’t even know a thing about everything.

 

Kun just doesn’t know… that Sicheng has a plan of his own.

 

-

“I’m not just saying but… your mom is kind of a bitch.” Taeyong said as Jaehyun completed his story. Jaehyun is stressed. He still has to talk with Sicheng. He couldn’t understand why Sicheng said he won’t marry him. That’s confusing.

“What did Sicheng say?” It is also Taeyong that asked.

“He said he loves me but he won’t marry me. What does that mean?” Jaehyun sighed and lean on Johnny’s shoulder. That’s something he used to do since childhood. Jaehyun is short while Johnny is stall when they were kids.

 

“Huh? What do you mean?” Johnny asked, not reacting. Taeyong frowned at the place where Jaehyun’s head meet Johnny’s shoulder.

“I don’t really know. I thought we are on the same page, you know? I know he loves me. He also knows I love him too. But in front of my mother, he just… he won’t marry me if my mother won’t give her approval. Like hell, she would approve. Killing thousands of tigers will be easier.”

 

“Man, I can’t even argue.”

“When are we going back? Is it really ok or us not to pay those hotel bills? I really ordered room service a lot.” Taeyong said while glancing at Johnny and he just realized Johnny was staring at him.

“Don’t worry. Just think of it as your house.” Johnny said without really paying attention. He shrugged Jaehyun off but he doesn’t lost the eye-contact with Taeyong.

“But…”

“Really, Yonggie. Just leave it.” Johnny said it with frustration.

 

That’s the silence. Yonggie. No one called Taeyong as Yonggie and Johnny did it. Actually it wasn’t the first for Johnny or Taeyong since Johnny also called the same on the night they shared together. But Jaehyun, he closed his mouth. He looked at Taeyong who is so shocked to the point that he cannot close his mouth.

“Um… I don’t really… um… nevermind, Johnny. Let’s catch up later. Sicheng might be looking for me. Um… Call me.”

“No… w-wait…” Taeyong wanna call after Jaehyun but Jaehyun doesn’t wait. Jaehyun already ran to the door and shut it behind him.

 

Taeyong started to stand up and follow after Jaehyun but stopped by Johnny.

“Where are you going not talking to me?” Johnny stopped Taeyong, pulling him towards him by arm.

“Why? We already talked.” Taeyong no longer wants to follow Jaehyun but he still refuses to look at Johnny.

“You talked. I hadn’t. Now, time for me to make some talks.” Johnny said for matter of factly. He doesn’t like games. Especially right now the one Taeyong is playing.

“I have done talking with you and I have nothing to hear from you further.” Taeyong continue facing towards the ground, his voice shaking.

“Yah! LEE Taeyong!” Johnny shouted and that makes Taeyong tremble a little. Johnny felt sorry about raising his voice but he doesn’t know the other way to get to Taeyong.

 

“I’m sorry. Ok. But we still have to talk about last night.” Johnny is quick to apologize. He changed a lot. He was someone who is slow to act in the past. He doesn’t do what he feel like he should do. He always hesitated and he always like to put the blame on any other as long as it’s not on him.

“I told you, it was nothing and it was a mistake.” Taeyong really try to look up at Johnny but after last night, after getting that much affections from Johnny, it’s really hard to look into Johnny’s eyes without his heart skipping a beat.

 

“Maybe it was a mistake but it wasn’t nothing. You know it.” Johnny sounds like he’s apologizing. He wanted to get to know Taeyong. He really wanted to make a difference now that he finally felt something towards someone who is not his childhood best friend.

“I’m sorry if this disappoint you but… it really is nothing. You know we do it all the time. The one night stand.” Taeyong lied. He didn’t know how he managed to convince Johnny with his lies but he did. Johnny loosened his arms on Taeyong’s. He nodded.

“Fine.”

“See you.” Taeyong needed to escape from here. In Johnny’s presence he can’t do anything but think about last night. It really wasn’t ‘nothing’. It really was something. The kiss, the way their bodies fit. He nervously took the steps towards the door.

Just when he thought he’s about to escape, there’s Johnny, trapping him between the door and his own body.

 

“You think you are good at lies, huh?” Johnny’s mouth is dangerously close to Taeyong’s own. Taeyong felt as if the world spinned a thousand times faster and his head also spun along with the world.

“Johnny.”

“Tell me if this doesn’t feel right.”

 

Johnny put his lips on Taeyong. It was slow, unlike last night. They were too rough with the help of alcohol last night but now, Johnny is everything but rough. Johnny is careful. He is soft. Taeyong can’t help but whimpered when Johnny refused to touch Taeyong but leaving his lips just a few centimeters away from Taeyong’s lips. Both of Johnny’s hands are in Taeyong’s hair, controlling the movements of Taeyong.

“Are you still telling me this… this is nothing?”

Johnny kissed Taeyong again. This time a little with more force. This time a little more intimate. Taeyong is totally under the spell of Johnny, he let Johnny in without fight. He let Johnny kissed him and every time Johnny’s about to stop and get air, he moaned. His senses betrayed him. He asked for more. He couldn’t help all this heat and his wild heart wanting the same as last night.

That scares Taeyong a little but also a little wild.

“Now, can we talk?” A little out of breath and a little horny, Johnny asked.

“Can’t we just continue doing this?” Taeyong asked so innocently that makes Johnny laughed. Johnny felt so light in his head. He never is that carefree.

“If you insist,”

 

They shared a laugh, so beautiful.

 


	26. Taking it

Satisfied by the sound he heard outside of the door, Jaehyun smiled and left. This came as a shock but Jaehyun was prepared. Whenever he heard the bickering between Taeyong and Johnny, it’s like some sort of frustration is building up. Now the frustration is solved by sex, apparently.

 

He missed his Sicheng. He thought about the expression of Sicheng when he left. Those sad eyes and guilty expression. Jaehyun doesn’t know why Sicheng would feel guilty but he guessed it’s because of marriage issue. He doesn’t know what difficulties Sicheng is facing. He doesn’t know why Sicheng is staying alone or is it really his house.

He noticed one small family photo in Sicheng’s room. There’s nothing other than that.

 

Jaehyun arrived at Sicheng’s doorstep but he is reluctant to go inside or ring the doorbell. The image of Sicheng crying and hugging him came back. He sighed as he click the door open. He will never let go of Sicheng. There must be a reason why Sicheng said he won’t get married.

“Hey.”

Jaehyun saw Kun sitting with the luggage.

“Jung Jaehyun, right?”

“Sorry, I don’t speak chinese.” Jaehyun said with little annoyance. Jaehyun doesn’t know why but he doesn’t like Kun. Even the one-word name sounded cool but no, he still doesn’t like him.

 

“What about ASL?” Kun speaked fluently in English as he made several hand gestures.

“I don’t know ASL either.” Jaehyun replied in English. It suddenly felt like an embarrassment.

Kun frowned at Jaehyun. It means the whole time, Sicheng is trying hard to understand Jaehyun’s words by reading his lips while that Korean bastard is comfortably speaking his mother freaking Korean language to Sicheng.

And it’s twisted. Sicheng knows Korean because of his sister and now, he is also communicating in Korean because of that guy in front of him. Kun didn’t say any word as he doesn’t want to sound rude in front of some stranger. Besides, that stranger happened to be important to Sicheng.

 

Sicheng came out of the room, bringing another bag and placed it next to the luggage. Sicheng saw Jaehyun face to face with Kun and noticed the tension.

“Your boyfriend doesn’t know ASL or Chinese?” Kun talked to Sicheng in ASL.

 

“Sicheng, you are already packing?”

“In case, why?” Sicheng replied to Jaehyun as he ignored Kun. He understands what Kun means but it’s just not important. Besides, they had been together for like two three months. He didn’t know Jaehyun had intentions to marry him until this morning.

“Are you sure you wanted to come with me? My mother…”

“It’s alright. I understand her.”

 

“What?! Why are you saying you understand her? Are you crazy, Dong Si Cheng?! You knew what she did!” Kun knows Korean. He’s not just fluent enough to speak. But he just heard Sicheng saying he understand that evil woman is beyond his understanding.

“SHUT UP!” Sicheng yelled back. Sicheng glared at Kun in warning but his gaze soften in no time.

“I’m sorry. It’s just… please leave. Kun, I will call you tomorrow ok?” Sicheng apologized. Sicheng really didn’t want to shout at his best friend. But Kun almost said what Sicheng trying to hide from Jaehyun for the rest of his life snapped Sicheng. Sicheng felt sorry.

“I’m leaving anyway.” Kun said quietly and walked away.

 

Sicheng felt like following Kun but he stopped himself.

“Don’t worry about Kun. He’s just upset.”

Jaehyun nods. He understands why Kun is upset. He can’t really blame Kun for leaving like this. Even though Jaehyun couldn’t understand what exactly Kun said, he get the sense of the content. Jaehyun knows Kun is upset and it’s something about him or his mother.

 

And suddenly, Jaehyun is lost at words. He wanna talk with Sicheng but then, what? What would he talk with what?

“When are you going back?” It’s Sicheng again. Sicheng making an effort here but Jaehyun…

“Are you sick of me being here already?” It’s the insecurities speaking. Jaehyun shouldn’t have put it into this way. He was scared. He was scared of being away from Sicheng again.

“If I am sick of you, why would I pack my things getting ready to be with you? Don’t be a jerk, Jaehyun.” Sicheng said as he turn his back on Jaehyun. Sicheng is tired. He is really tired right now. But if Jaehyun is going to make this harder, Sicheng isn’t sure he wants to be with Jaehyun right now.

 

“I’m sorry.” The moment Sicheng turned his back on Jaehyun, Jaehyun felt like something very precious was robbed from him, like he lost some important thing. Then Jaehyun realized it’s Sicheng’s gaze. It’s his care that he missed. Then, Jaehyun couldn’t think. Thinking is beyond him.

 

A pair of arms tightened around Sicheng, preventing him from moving. Jaehyun’s scent is pleasant in Sicheng’s sense. But Sicheng is still mad. He was putting so much effort to be with Jaehyun just because he loves him. No matter what is happening to him, he still loves Jaehyun and this just can’t be changed but he’s really tired.

Sometimes, Jaehyun is hard to love.

 

Sicheng felt Jaehyun is speaking because his exposed neck felt some tingle of breaths. But he doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to read lips anymore. He just want to close his eyes and hide away from everything. Sicheng doesn’t know where those tears came from but they came. They came out like a river flowing without stopping. And they were taken away by a soft lips. When Sicheng knew what was happening, Jaehyun’s lips are already on his own, demanding to enter.

Sicheng gave in. He is tired to fighting. He missed his Jaehyun. Sicheng felt he was pushed towards the wall. He knows but his mind doesn’t react. The pleasure of being kissed and dominated by Jaehyun clouded his own reasoning. He just wants to give in and feel.

 

There is no more of his shirt. Instead the warmth of Jaehyun’s hands replace. And the softness from those cherry lips. Sicheng’s mind is playing a trick on himself. All those sensations intensified. His lower region is already seeking for more attention.

Sicheng is not sure why Jaehyun wanna keep taking. Both of his hands are up in the air, restrained by Jaehyun’s own hands. Sicheng kept giving. He gave and Jaehyun took. Sicheng gives and gives but when he realized there’s nothing left of him, it’s already too late.


	27. Veintisiete

Fuck.

Nothing came to Jaehyun’s mind when he woke up except… the guilt. He forced himself on Sicheng. He knew that he was a jerk. He did not listen to the small protest Sicheng made at first. He ignored them. Right now, all those little protests are coming back to his mind, haunting him.

He could not stay in bed anymore. He look at the exhausted face of Sicheng next to him. The guilt became bigger, dragging his mood even darker. He moved quietly. He did not deserve to sleep next to Sicheng like this.

 

I’m sorry.

I love you.

 

Jaehyun let the paper fall onto the table next to Sicheng. He doesn’t have excuses for his actions. He just… he just want to say he loves Sicheng. He loves Sicheng so much that sometimes he felt like his chest is going to explode.

He was stupid. He did think that he is going to be in Sicheng’s life as a lover or as a husband. He was so naive. He thought even if his mother is making their lives difficult, they would make it. They would live like a fairytale with happily-ever-after. His irrational dream was forced back to reality when Sicheng said he won’t marry him without parents’ blessing.

 

Jaehyun washed his face. He stared into his own reflection in the mirror. He sees a selfish version. He sees a disrespect version of him. He selfishly took pleasure from the one he called his lover and with disrespect. Jaehyun hates himself so much he punched himself. Not his virtual self but the reflection. He felt pain and he almost hissed. Instead, Jaehyun bites down his lips and endure the pain on his right hand. Blood drops are already on the white marble floor of Sicheng’s restroom.

 

Something woke Sicheng. Even though the blanket is his chin high, here’s the cold and the faint light from crack of the door leading to his restroom. Sicheng noticed the uncomfortable ache at his back and his hands are still redden. But he couldn’t care about these things right now.

Jaehyun?

It’s awkward to walk towards the door with his uncomfortable back and a blanket around him. He doesn’t have his shirt on and he wants to hide the marks on his body. He doesn’t want Jaehyun to see those redden marks.

 

“Jaehyun!” Sicheng gasped as he saw the bloody hand and broken mirror. Jaehyun looked at him through mirror and tried to hide his hand. Though, Sicheng already saw everything.

“Don’t worry about it.” Jaehyun speaks so softly but Sicheng’s eyes are on his hand.

 

“Don’t come in, there could be broken pieces of glass anywhere!” Jaehyun walked towards Sicheng to block him from coming in. Sicheng held up his hand to see carefully.

“Why did you do this? What happened? Jaehyun-ah!” Sicheng’s eyes are wet. He almost cried seeing Jaehyun hurt.

“You shouldn’t worry about me! Why are you not sleeping?”

“What about you? Why are you being like this?” Sicheng shouted and he couldn’t hold back his tears anymore.

 

Seeing Sicheng’s tears, Jaehyun calmed down a lot. The blanket Sicheng used to cover his body is now resting on the floor. The light from the restroom make Jaehyun see clearly Sicheng’s body. They are full of red marks and his hand… Jaehyun remembered last night and the guilt came back.

Sicheng felt his body is being inspected. He quickly recover the blanket from the floor to cover himself again. But the guilt is already planted insides Jaehyun, not leaving his eyes. Jaehyun couldn’t look into Sicheng’s eyes.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t… I should never have…”

 

“I’m fine!” Sicheng said firmly. He meant it. At first, he did not want to do it with Jaehyun when they are both feeling moody. But it’s only at first. He wanted Jaehyun last night.

“I said I’m fine!” Sicheng raised his voice. He didn’t like Jaehyun right now. It’s not his fault. Sicheng wanted to say. It’s my fault too. I let you.

“Look at me.” Sicheng put his hands on Jaehyun’s face and pull towards him. Sicheng planted a soft kiss on Jaehyun’s lips. Jaehyun’s eyes widened in surprise.

 

Jaehyun wouldn’t be surprised if Sicheng kicked him out of his house right now. But now, Sicheng just kissed him. So softly, opposite of what he had done last night.

“Sicheng, why…”

“Why? Why do you think I kiss you just now? Why else?” It’s the sexy Sicheng speaking right now. Jaehyun couldn’t unnoticed the daring glint in Sicheng’s eyes. He slowly pushed Jaehyun towards the bed and make Jaehyun sat on the bed while he… Sicheng sat on Jaehyun’s lap.

 

“Because I love you.”

Jaehyun’s hands instinctively grab Sicheng’s slender body as they kissed. It’s no longer a kiss initiated by Sicheng. But Sicheng is not done yet. He leaned on Jaehyun to make them fall on bed.

Their hips are starting to work on themselves. Sicheng did not let his opportunity of being on top go by. He makes sure their kisses are as wet as possible and their groin… Jaehyun’s hand held onto Sicheng’s body as he thrusts his hips to meet with Sicheng. Sicheng set the pace to new level as his hips work miracle. Jaehyun groaned in pleasure as he tried to match with Sicheng’s pace.

“Jesus! Sicheng. Slow down.” Jaehyun tried to stop Sicheng but Sicheng is unstoppable. Sicheng moaned a little as their hips met again with pleasant pressure. Sicheng tried to weigh Jaehyun down with his body on top. But it doesn’t help when Jaehyun tried to make his pants came off and teased his hole with his evil finger.

 

Sicheng pushed back so that Jaehyun’s finger would be inside him but Jaehyun doesn’t let him. His finger still teasing at the entrance.

“Jae” Sicheng is impatient. Jaehyun likes to tease too much. It’s not good for his heart.

Finally, Jaehyun granted his wish and it’s not one. It’s two.

“Yes.”

It’s not filing Sicheng up. Even without the help of lube, Jaehyun’s three fingers easily went inside. Sicheng buried his head in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck and shoulder as he pushed back a little to go deeper. Jaehyun pushed in and out and it’s become too much.

“Jae… I…” Sicheng is holding onto Jaehyun for life. It’s really become too much. Sicheng bites down Jaehyun’s collarbone.

“Fuck.” Jaehyun pulled out his fingers and he unbutton himself. It’s naturally going in without any awkwardness like they had been doing it for ages. Their hips work together and their lips in sync.

 

In a flip, Sicheng is under Jaehyun. Jaehyun kissed Sicheng hard with open mouthed, grinding slowly and steadily. Sicheng couldn’t help what was happening to him. He felt like all the blood are rushing to his cock. He tried to breathe but only musky scent of Jaehyun came in.

“Please.” Sicheng’s head is spinning. He doesn’t know what’s what anymore. He only know Jaehyun’s hard length pushing into him making him a moaning mess. This pleasurable torture is going on till Sicheng felt the need to come.

“Jae… close. Ahh”

That’s when Jaehyun speed up, thrusting into Sicheng with more force.

“Too much. Uhh. Jaehyun. Jaehyun.”

The need become a urgency. Sicheng couldn’t hold much longer.

 

“Come for me. Baby.” Jaehyun too felt tight. He wanted to come at the same time with Sicheng. Both of them clung onto each other.

“Shit.” Jaehyun pulled himself out of Sicheng and collapsed next to Sicheng.

“I am not going to read your lips. I am too tired to open my eyes, not reading lips.” Sicheng muttered as he lay down, fighting for breath.

Jaehyun opened his eyes, he looked at Sicheng. Beautiful.

 

His lips kissing softly on the spot below Sicheng’s ears and neck.

“Look at me.”

“Jaehyun, what are you doing?” Sicheng reluctantly opened his eyes. He met with Jaehyun’s twinkling eyes who is hoovering Sicheng’s body right now.

“It is such a waste that he didn’t hear how pleasant you voice is.” Jaehyun went to steal another kiss and Sicheng smiled. He hugged Jaehyun and put him down on bed.

“I don’t need to hear my own voice.”

Sicheng smiled at Jaehyun, assuring that he’s ok.

 

“Come here.” Jaehyun pulled Sicheng into his embrace, his legs covering half of Sicheng’s body. Jaehyun covered themselves with a blanket on top.

“We will go to Korea tomorrow, okay? Will you come with me?” Jaehyun forget that Sicheng’s head is in his chest. Sicheng is already half-way to sleep. A soft smile formed on Jaehyun’s face as he continued watching his Sicheng sleep. Jaehyun gently planted a kiss on Sicheng’s forehead and he muttered.

“Good night. Sweet dreams.”

Sicheng face seemed to smile a little before Jaehyun finally close his eyes and doze off.


	28. Love itself is, a pain

When Sicheng woke up, his heart is heavy. He remembered last night. He doesn’t think he would forget last night ever. That’s one of the memorable nights he got with Jaehyun. He watched Jaehyun took care of his wound when Jaehyun thought he is sleeping. It warmed his heart when Jaehyun softly kissed on his forehead. His face heated up when he thought of the kiss. He will make sure to make more memories with Jaehyun and not forget a bit of it. He have to make sure that he won’t forget any. Because when the time comes, he’s afraid Jaehyun won’t even want to see him.

A tear came out. Sicheng wants to wipe it but Jaehyun hugged him real tight. He closed his eyes, wishing Jaehyun won’t ever see the tear before it dries itself. He’s afraid of Jaehyun’s pain. Sicheng remembered his own pain in heart when he saw Jaehyun’s bloody hand. That’s when he knew his plan is sabotaged. He can’t hurt Jaehyun without hurting himself in ten folds.

 

Jaehyun is still in deep sleep. Sicheng carefully moved out of Jaehyun’s embrace. It was hard. He is escaping the warmth and moving into coldness. When he’s out of Jaehyun’s warmth, he missed it immediately. Sicheng immediately wants to be in Jaehyun’s arms again but, instead he moved to the restroom. He had to clean this mess before Jaehyun woke up and saw them again and be reminded of unpleasant memories.

Sicheng is more careful of not getting hurt. He still can’t un-see the hurt and the guilt in Jaehyun’s eyes when he saw the marks and bruises on his body. Sicheng shook his head, trying to breathe a little. He felt like his neck is being strangled, like something is holding his windpipe down but opened a little just enough not to kill. He is suffocated whenever he thought about the love Jaehyun gave him.

 

Breathe.

Breathe.

 

Sicheng accidentally knelt down on the glass pieces and bled out. That’s when his conscious snapped back to reality and he gasped out loud in pain. SHIT! Sicheng didn’t have the time to think about his bleeding knee. He worriedly look over the bed, to Jaehyun.

Whatever Jaehyun is dreaming, it suddenly stopped. It’s like something powerful pulled Jaehyun out of his sleep. He snapped opened his eyes and his hand immediately in search of Sicheng. There is no trace of Sicheng only the cold space. Jaehyun eyes immediately follow the light coming from the restroom.

There he is. Jaehyun felt relief on seeing the silhouette of Sicheng. Then, Jaehyun remembered the mess he made. Stupid!!!

Jaehyun jumped out of bed and went for Sicheng. Worry already took place in his heart. He cussed when he saw Sicheng with blood.

 

“What are you doing? I should be cleaning this! I made this mess!” Again, his guilt got the best of him. Jaehyun immediately regretted the use of his tone.

“I’m sorry. Sicheng. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Jaehyun knelt down in front of Sicheng to inspect the wound. The piece was long but wasn’t big. It cut the flesh as blood starting to drip down to the floor.  
Jaehyun carried Sicheng in his arms and placed him on the bed. Then he fetched his first aid kid to the bed.  
“It doesn’t hurt.” Sicheng does not want Jaehyun to be worried. It’s not his fault.  
“Lies.” Jaehyun softly muttered. He is controlling himself not to outburst again.  
“It’s not your fault. It’s because I wasn’t careful.” Sicheng tried to explain. Jaehyun mustn’t think like that. He must let Jaehyun know for sure.  
  
“Why are you kept telling lies? Of course it’s my fault. If I wasn’t so stupid and properly cleaned those broken pieces, you wouldn’t get hurt. And stop putting the blame on yourself! It hurts me more when you did it. Instead, blame me! Instead yell at me! Curse me!” Jaehyun stared right into Sicheng’s eyes and he saw the sorrow and worried. Jaehyun closed his eyes. He is so angry. He is angry that Sicheng got hurt. He is angrier because it’s him that is the cause.   
“Here, keep it in place.” Jaehyun took the tape to stick the bandage to the knees.   
“Try to move a bit. Is it constraining?” Jaehyun was so careful not to hurt Sicheng again.  
“Thank you. It’s ok.”   
“Lies again?” Jaehyun looked up at Sicheng and saw he’s smiling softly at him. Jaehyun felt his heart warmed and fluttered. Just how many times Sicheng wanted his heart to beat in one second?  
“No. I didn’t. It’s really comfortable.” Sicheng tried to show Jaehyun that he really could walk but instead the pain got him.  
“Ah!”   
“Just… stay here!” Jaehyun is quick to hold back Sicheng.  
“It’s because I moved carelessly. I can really walk. I can show you right now.” Sicheng defended himself but Jaehyun is shaking his head in disapprove.   
“I say, stay here.” Jaehyun took hold of Sicheng’s shoulders as he tried to face him. Jaehyun pushed Sicheng till his back touched the wall against the bed.   
Jaehyun came seriously close till he brushed his lips slightly across the cheek and kissed on the lips briefly. Then, Jaehyun moved a bit far to let Sicheng see his lips.  
“Listen to me, ok? Stay here.” Then, he went in close to kiss Sicheng again, this time a little bit longer.  
  
Sicheng couldn’t even hold the stares right now. He is blushing so hard.   
“Ok.” Sicheng said it with a little shaky breath. Jaehyun is quite proud of himself to see

Sicheng like this. Every time, it’s Sicheng that made him speechless and blushed. It’s the first time he got Sicheng.  
After kissing Sicheng one last time and leaving him there breathless, Jaehyun moved to clean the mess he made. He never cleaned. There’s always someone that cleans after him and Jaehyun didn’t know what to do first. He looked around the house and he saw the broomstick at the corner. That’s his first instinct to clean. He place all the pieces at one corner while he found trash can to put them in it.

 

Sicheng watched Jaehyun awkward posture as he smiled. Jaehyun is so proper. He cleaned the same place for good 15 minutes till he made sure not a piece is left. He knew he’s in love with Jaehyun. But every time Jaehyun makes him fall in love with him. And each time, Sicheng fall for him a little more. And that smile with his pretty dimple Jaehyun gave after cleaning up make Sicheng laughed out loud. He is like a cute little kid, proudly smiling at his own achievement.

People would only adore Jaehyun right now.

“If you kept looking at me like that, I am going to make love to you again.” Jaehyun come and sit near Sicheng’s lap as Sicheng moved a little backwards.

“Again?” Sicheng’s face reddened. He doesn’t why he can’t face Jaehyun.

“Then, don’t look at me like that.” Jaehyun teasingly kissed the tip of Sicheng’s nose as he lied down next to him.

 

It’s already 4 when Jaehyun finally fall asleep while hugging Sicheng’s body. Only, Jaehyun isn’t aware of mixed-feelings Sicheng who’s going to be awake the rest of the night.

 


	29. [Veintinueve] Madam Jung

How’s one person can be so stupid?

It is already 3 days they are in Korea. Madam Jung looked over the photos that were taken by her people. These photos are showing her son and that pathetic Chinese boy. She doesn’t like the boy. From his red hair to his slander body. She doesn’t like the fact that she wasn’t taken a great deal by her own son.

 

She throws the photos on the large table, causing them to scatter all over. She stood up and walked around to turn away from those provoking pictures. It is kinda sad that she only saw her son laughing and smiling so carefree only in these pictures but not in front of her.

Nothing is okay.

Nothing goes her way.

Especially these days.

 

She just can’t understand why she couldn’t make Jaehyun, her own son, understand the way of the worlds. Even Johnny seemed to understand it.

Maybe it’s because she let him live on himself 4 years ago?

It also can’t be because Johnny is always together with her son. Johnny turns out so well. No, Madam Jung decided. It can’t be because of these merely years.

It’s always since birth.

Jaehyun has kind heart since birth. He teared up when he saw the maids being scolded. He teared up when he saw beggers on road. She found is stupid. She thought she succeedingly change the way Jaehyun saw the world but turns out she was wrong. She thought when Jaehyun wasn’t saying anything back, he was obeying. But now, she noticed, Jaehyun is simply ignoring.

 

Anger simmering inside her. Her fists balled into a clench.

 

“Madam.”

“Madam.”

 

“WHAT?!” She breathed in, trying to control her expression again. She can’t let her anger got the best of her.

 

“I’ve got some contact from your son’s boyfriend.” The sound of it went into her ears like someone pour the red hot iron liquid instead of those words.

“What do you mean by my son’s boyfriend! He is just someone who is attaching to my son!”

“I’m sorry.” As soon as she got the apology, she tried to calm down again. It’s just too distracting. The thoughts about her son make her sensitive.

“Continue. What does he say?”

“He says he wants to meet with you.”

 

“Me?” She totally clams down. She felt like a winner. It is going to be another business

transaction.

“Make it today. 3pm.”

 

“Yes, Madam.”

If that little beggar like thing can request a meeting with her, he must not be so simple. She must prepare mentally for all the blows that could come.

-

 

After ending the call, Sicheng tried to gather strength mentally. His decision is right. No matter how Kun might end up calling him stupid, no matter how much his heart says ‘no, it’s not right’, his decision is right. Reality is just like this. Someone of hearing-impaired like him

cannot dream of marrying and ending up with a Chaebol like Jaehyun.

Even if they are not ill-fated, being together would be difficult.

 

Sicheng felt like he’s the most shameless person in the world. He looked at the side profile of smiling Jaehyun. Jaehyun looked so sexy when he’s working. He is testing the arrangement of the song as he pays no attention to Sicheng.

“My face is going to be pierced.”

“Huh?” Sicheng thought Jaehyun didn’t know that he was staring. He immediately looked down. His phone flashed saying he got new text message. Jaehyun glanced at him and he immediately opened his phone to read the message.

He found out the message is from that manager of Jaehyun’s mother.

 

3pm. Garden of the house.

 

He deleted the message. He smiled up at Jaehyun to look natural. Jaehyun’s attentions is already back to his music.

Jaehyun said his single is going to release it’s teaser 2 days after. Of course it’s exciting. But Jaehyun looked like he’s more excited than him.

 

“You know if you are going to continue this, I am really going to be distracted.” Jaehyun took his hands off from work. His heated and playful gaze is on him. His body responded without his permission. He never wanted someone this bad.

“What are you going to do then?”

“You are going to find out.”

“What?” Sicheng dared him. Sicheng decided not to dwell on the decision he made and not to worry about the future. Instead, he is going to be with Jaehyun with all his heart.

Jaehyun is now in front of him, bending down a little to level with him.

 

“Are you inviting?” Jaehyun came in so close. He has to back a little to be able to read his lips.

“What do you think?” At the end of his sentence, Jaehyun lips crashed down with his. Jaehyun started slow but firm. He is not letting Sicheng go any second till they both are deprived of oxygen. Sicheng started panting when Jaehyun pulled himself a little away to catch his breath.

“Why are you so addictive?” Jaehyun’s hands are now on both sides of Sicheng’s face. Sicheng stood up to meet with his lips briefly.

 

“Don’t you have to go to the studio? You said you have appointment with the producer.” Jaehyun groaned as he knew if he didn’t set off by next 5 minutes, he is going to be late.

“Now, are you trying to run away from the consequences of your action?” Jaehyun is frustrated by how smuggy Sicheng’s face. He can’t be late. He has to be on good sides of producer-nim since he’s the one making irresponsible decisions last time.

“Nope. Simply gotten away by chance!”

 

Jaehyun gives Sicheng another long and breathless kiss. 1 minute he can lose. But nothing more. He gets away from Sicheng as he looked at how flushed Sicheng’s face is by now. He’s kind of satisfied by the result he got. He really had to go now.

“I am going!” Jaehyun said without looking away.

“Yeah.” Sicheng bites down his lips and nodded.

 

Jaehyun didn’t stop to look at Sicheng. If he turns his back, he is going to want to kiss Sicheng again.

“We are gonna continue after I got back!” But remembering Sicheng could only read his lips, he turned around one last time to say goodbye.

“Your wish is my command.” Sicheng winked as Jaehyun slammed the door close. That little teasing. Jaehyun is falling more and more of Sicheng. Jaehyun is aware of the fact but it’s not like he can do anything other than that. He laughed out loud and hurried to the studio.


	30. The night is long...

“You can leave now.” With a dismissive tone, Madam Jung completely turn her attentions off from Sicheng. Sicheng never met anyone this rude and brilliant. Her plans are perfect. The instructions will be given from the manager directly to another phone which also was given to Sicheng.

 

Sicheng walked and walked and walked. He walked along the road already for 10 minutes but he hadn’t by the gate yet. He only wanted to escape here. When he come here, the manager of Madam Jung picked him up, so he got to the garden house where Madam Jung is waiting in 15 minutes. It’s a long way, indeed.

There’s a car coming so, Sicheng paused to let it pass by.

“I have orders to send you back.”

It’s the manager again. Sicheng contemplates whether he should reject or accept. But the manager is already opening the car door for him. Sicheng looked far front, he still couldn’t see the gate.

 

Sicheng gets into the car. He doesn’t want to say thanks. He doesn’t want to say a word. The whole time he is speaking with Madam Jung, he could only think of Jaehyun’s face in his mind. All of Jaehyun’s smiles, his dimples, the softness in his eyes and all of his love. Sicheng blinks the tears away. Some fall on his cheeks. He rubbed them clear with his palms.

Sicheng stepped out of the car when it stopped. It’s one block away from Jaehyun’s apartment. He was planning to tell the manager to drop him off at nearest bus station. He aren’t even aware of the neighborhood. Sicheng can’t go into Jaehyun’s house like this. His eyes hurt. They probably are red also.

He wanders around the neighborhood. He has some money. When he look into his bag, he saw the envelope. It wasn’t his. He opened the envelope to see the cash insides. He felt hurt. It’s such a feeling so low that he wished he disappeared into thin air or underwater into nothingness.

How could she? Who are they to degrade someone like that?

 

Sicheng did not want to see Jaehyun. Not today. He suddenly thought of Kun. Kun said his hotel will be paid by his company so he did not stay at Jaehyun’s apartment. Sicheng text Kun that he wants to crash at his room. Kun’s reply was immediate.

 

: sure, why not?

 

He’s glad that Kun agreed to go to Korea with him. Kun is thankful for this moment when he replied right away. He send Jaehyun a text.

 

: I am going out with Kun today. Don’t wait up for dinner.

 

Sicheng turn his phone off. He headed to Kun’s hotel.

 

~

  
 

As soon as his phone light up, Jaehyun cast a glance to see whose the notification is from.

He felt himself smiled as he saw it’s from Sicheng. It’s such a natural and automated reflex. But the timing is just off. The producer is trying to lecture how not to act with the emotions and that he shouldn’t tell the project to be on and off as he wished.

 

“What are you smiling? Do you think I am joking?” It made the Producer irritated a bit. Jaehyun doesn’t even have the time to read the content as he close his phone and put it into his jeans pocket.

“I am sorry. Producer-nim, what I did was very irresponsible. I will make it up for you. I will not let this flop. Please believe in me and Sicheng. This song, this song will be a hit. You know it too, right?”

The Producer gave Jaehyun a considering look. Jaehyun knows the producer also accepts his points. He decided to push further.

 

“I will do proper promotions. To stay at least charted in top 50.” That made the producer smile.

“You know it’s not easy even to be charted in top 100 right? Are you being arrogant? Don’t give me empty promise.”

“This is not empty promise. I am not being arrogant either. I just have this much confidence in this song.” Jaehyun said with definite confidence.

“What’s the plan of promotions?”

“The song is already done. We only have to do recording. I don’t think it would be a good idea to expose the identity of Sicheng yet. A little mystery would hype the netizens up. Don’t you agree?” He took out his notebook. He made step by step plans.

“Not bad. We can do it a little more dramatic by having reporters release articles about how the song is made and stuffs, you know.” Jaehyun notes down what the producer suggested. He have to do casting if they are making a Music Video also.

  
 

“Alright. Do you think we can start the recording right away? I will check if Jenna is free this evening? Taeyong is free, I already check with him.” He took out his phone again. He remembered Sicheng sent him a text. He wanted to check the text already.

“You are serious this time then?”

“OF COURSE!” Jaehyun went and hugged the producer. He is so excited. He was expecting a lot for this song.

“Ok. Let’s make it a debut hit!”

“Thank you for accepting me again.” Jaehyun bowed as he excused himself out of the office. As soon as he’s outside the room, he checked the text.

 

Jaehyun frowned as he read the content twice. He didn’t like Kun. He felt like Kun is the threat. But he quickly cleared his mind of negative thoughts. He wanted Sicheng to be in the studio when they are recording, he’s the writer and composer afterall.

He went into the office again.

“Producer-nim, do you think we can arrange the date of recording tomorrow? I want Sicheng to be here with us but he said he had plans today.”

“Fine with me. You let me know the date. But, do you want to test out the whole song? If Jenna is available. We can decide with Sicheng tomorrow.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what to say. It’s not also bad.

“Alright. I will check if Jenna is available.”

 

Jaehyun called the singer right away in front of the producer. He wanted this song to happen as fast as possible. Thankfully, Jenna is also excited about it. She said she will be there in an hour that she’s glad this project is trusted to her.

Seemed like things are going smooth. He called Sicheng. Jaehyun wanted to ask Sicheng if he can come to the studio. First, he felt annoyed that Sicheng wanted Kun to tag along to Korea. Second, Sicheng is actually spending time with Kun.

 

The phone is off!

 

Jaehyun frowned as he listened to the tone of female voice and felt something is not right. Maybe he is thinking too much. Maybe it’s just the battery. And Jaehyun doesn’t know the number of Kun nor which hotel Kun is staying.

“Aish! Jinja!!” Jaehyun released the sound of frustrations. He stared down at the phone screen. It is displaying the picture that he took secretly when Sicheng is sleeping soundly in his arms with no clothes. But this chest is covered with the blanket. Sicheng neckline is the most beautiful neck Jaehyun had ever seen. He can’t help but felt himself blush when looking at Sicheng face.

All his frustrations and doubts disappeared. He will just talk to Sicheng when he came back tonight.

Jaehyun was at the studio till 10. Johnny tagged along with Taeyong. Jaehyun gave Johnny the suggestive look when they both came in, smelling fresh as if they both just came out of shower.

 

“What’s up man!” Johnny said to cover his blush. He can cover his ears due to his long hair but the cheeks. They are bright-pink. Taeyong just greeted the producer and Jenna, the female artist.

“I don’t even need to ask what you two were doing an hour ago.” Jaehyun whispered to Johnny. Surely, Taeyong must have heard. Taeyong never looked in Jaehyun’s direction the whole time.

It was smooth.

He was just planned to test the recording but both the producer and the singers are in the mood. The song is perfect. Jenna is amazing singer. Taeyong also gave his all. They ended up recording till all of them are satisfied.

 

“You guys have work hard.” Producer clapped and praise everyone. Johnny also gave Taeyong a thump up. Taeyong winked back at Johnny. Jaehyun felt funny. They were almost fighting every day when in college so, Jaehyun is not used to this lovey-dovey side of them.

Jaehyun checked his phone.

His smile died down as he saw nothing. It’s been 7 hours that he lost contact with Sicheng. He was hoping Sicheng would at least text him about his whereabouts or about dinner because he didn’t text Sicheng about tonight.

Jaehyun called Sicheng again.

This time, it wasn’t off anymore. It is ringing at least.

 

“It’s Kun.”

The annoyance is back. This time is more fierce.

“Can you pass it to Sicheng.” Jaehyun tried so hard that he didn’t sound rude.

“Uh… Xiao Cheng?”

“Jaehyun, I will just sleep at Kun. We have things to discuss.”

“What things?” Jaehyun totally lost it. IT seemed that Kun called Sicheng different name. It’s soft term coming out of Kun’s mouth. Jaehyun didn’t even have such endearment terms. And they are speaking with speaker.

 

Jaehyun is about to ask Sicheng to put the speaker off. But then he remember Sicheng can only read his lips to communicate.

“I will come back tomorrow. It’s not a good time. Ok?”

Jaehyun felt the anger, the disappointment and the sadness. How could Sicheng not think about how he felt?

Jaehyun is having a hard time controlling his feelings and his tears. He felt weak. He wanted to scream, No! Comeback! Don’t leave me alone! Then, he realized he is being immature. He should give Sicheng some space and time with his friend too. But he doesn’t want to be mature. He just want to be with Sicheng.

“Ok? Kun, is Jaehyun saying something?”

It hurts.

That they are relying on someone to communicate. He hates how much it hurts. It shouldn’t matter. It shouldn’t hurt him like it does. He should understand Sicheng.

 

“Ok. Goodnight.” Jaehyun ended the call as soon as he said it. Because if he doesn’t, he had to listen to Kun replying to Sicheng about what he said. IT would put him in more of bad mood.

He wanted to hang out with Johnny like he used to. But he remember Johnny has Taeyong now.

Jaehyun just drives straight home. He drinks till he get drunk. But it only makes it worse. He is angry now that he’s drunk. He sat down and rest his head on the couch. He looked down at his phone, the picture of Sicheng.

He couldn’t sleep that night.

The night is long...


	31. First article

“OH MY GOSH!”

Sicheng really did not expect Jaehyun to be awake. It’s only 6am. The fact that Jaehyun’s eyes are opened and he’s looking at Sicheng silently scared the shit out of Sicheng.

“What are you doing here? Why are you awake so early?”

Sicheng smelt alcohol. He looked around and saw the empty bottle.

“You came?”

Then, Sicheng felt his heart break. Jaehyun must have waited all night. Jaehyun must have been drunk. The dark circle around his eyes are prominent as the guilt in Sicheng grew.

 

“Yes. Had you eaten something?” Sicheng tried so hard to contain his tears only in his eyes. He knows he is punishing Jaehyun for something he didn’t do. But it’s his decision. He has decided to do this. So he had to bear the consequences. Even if the consequence is him getting hurt. Only if.

Jaehyun shook his head.

“Are you hungry?”

Jaehyun shook his head again. This time he tried to get up and slump down on the couch. Sicheng sat besides him. Usually, the reek of alcohol is unbearable for Sicheng. But Sicheng is too worried to be bothered by the smell.

 

“Come on, wash yourself first. I will fix you up something to eat.” Sicheng is about to get up but Jaehyun pulled him down. Sicheng landed on his lap.

There’s something in Sicheng that was afraid for one second that Jaehyun might try to… but the thought quickly die as he felt Jaehyun softly hugging him from behind as he put his forehead on Sicheng’s shoulder.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Your mother did.

Sicheng’s mouth is tightly shut. His face is slightly away from Jaehyun. He couldn’t move his eyes away.

“I couldn’t stop thinking… what had I done? I can’t… I can’t think of anything else.”

“No.”

That’s all Sicheng can offer. He had no way to make Jaehyun feel better. Sicheng realized. Jaehyun will know later. Later, when the time comes.

 

After hearing Sicheng’s answer, Jaehyun stared a while at Sicheng’s eyes. But Jaehyun released his hands when he saw the firmness of Sicheng’s eyes.

They both stood up awkwardly. It’s the first time Sicheng felt awkward around Jaehyun.

“We need to talk. About the song. I will go wash up first.” Jaehyun stumbled as he walked around Sicheng. Thankfully, there’s a couch to keep his balance. Sicheng did not try to help Jaehyun. He did not even touch Jaehyun.

 

~

 

Silent.

 

Even when Jaehyun apartment kitchen is better than the bar they first talked face to face, Sicheng is reminded of it. Even when the situation is totally different. Back then, he doesn’t have a motive. Back then, they are trying to avoid eye-contact because both of them are beaming with heat and desires, not because they are trying to hide the hurt in their eyes.

 

“What is it?” Sicheng started the conversation. Just like before.

Jaehyun is still trying to avoid the eye contact. But he did not make the mistake of not looking Sicheng while he is speaking.

 

Jaehyun took a deep breath. He meets eyes with Sicheng.

“We finished recording yesterday. You might need to come to the studio. The producer finalized the song but you still need to listen and give feedback.”

“That’s why you called last night? To finalize the song?”

Jaehyun felt it again. The hurt.

“Yes. We thought it would be convenient to finish it once for all.” The lie is like the fuel to his burning wound. But Jaehyun continued.

 

“The first teaser will be released 3 days before the actual release. We still have a lot to discuss about the music video or the theme and a lot. Do you have something in mind?” Jaehyun ask casually.

“I don’t know things like this. I just… make music.” Jaehyun smiled at the answer.

“Figures. It’s okay. So, when are you going to the studio? I can take you. I also have to discuss more with the Producer.”

Jaehyun speaks as if there is nothing wrong. As if they both are speaking the daily stuff. As if they both are fine.

“When you go, I will go with you.” It is not right. Sicheng carefully watched the smile that Jaehyun put on his face that didn’t reach his eyes. Jaehyun is looking at him but not really at him.

Both of them knows this is not right. But no one tries to make it right again.

 

Actually, it is really tiring. Smiling and making small talks at Sicheng when what he really wanted is to ask him, demand him an explanation. But Jaehyun is afraid that they might fight. Or Sicheng might get upset.

They went to the studio together. The Producer and Sicheng discussed further. Sicheng said,

“I will trust this on Jaehyun. I really don’t know a thing about directing or promoting stuff.”

Jaehyun had nodded. Jaehyun had felt the pride where Sicheng said in front of someone that he trusts Jaehyun.

 

And that’s all. That’s it for the whole day that both of them said what they truly meant. It’s not that they don’t speak. They talk. They talk about music. Sicheng asked him about the korean words that have similar meaning. Jaehyun would ask what he would like to have breakfast or lunch or dinner.

But Jaehyun won’t touch the subject of Kun. He never asked about Kun. The longest Sicheng and Jaehyun can engage in a conversation was 20 minutes.

There are days that Sicheng didn’t come back home like that day. Unlike that day, Sicheng told Jaehyun in advance. Like, informing him only.

 

What can Jaehyun say in return? Besides, “okay” or “alright”?

 

He couldn’t say anything to Sicheng. Sicheng didn’t try to say anything either. Every time Sicheng slept over at Kun’s, it kills Jaehyun a little insides. Jaehyun didn’t try to make it obvious that he waited or he’s drunk by spending an extra 30 minutes in shower. Sicheng just gone and back in the morning. Like every other morning, they had breakfast together.

 

It’s like they are drifting apart, little by little.

Jaehyun thought that he should do something but he doesn’t know what to do. He just wanna… He doesn’t know what he want either. Not exactly. He wants Sicheng like before. He wants them to be like before. He doesn’t know what changed but something has changed between them.

Jaehyun missed Sicheng too much that last night, he attempted to kiss Sicheng first. Sicheng was asleep but woke up. That night was precious. When Sicheng is kissing him like he couldn’t get enough of, it’s like everything is right again. But when in the morning, Sicheng let Jaehyun know again that he had somewhere to go with Kun again.

It made him disappointed again.

 

Sicheng hadn’t been with Jaehyun when Jaehyun saw the article. It was trending on korean sites. According to the plan, the teaser was released through the media yesterday.

Jaehyun instantly called Sicheng without thinking much. He was happy when he saw the article.

 

That means his promotions work. That means their hard work are not in vain.

 

The smile on Jaehyun’s face died down the moment Sicheng phone was picked up by Kun again.

“Hey… Tell Sicheng to come online. The article about the song is trending.” Jaehyun didn’t wait for the reply. He ended the call. He thought… nevermind. He doesn’t want to think anymore.

It’s like when you went for coffee at the usual place but then, it was closed down forever without the notice. Didn’t you deserve better? But Sicheng is not just the coffee place. If one coffee shop is closed down, there are so many other shops to replace it. Thought it will take time to get used to it. But Sicheng… he can never replace Sicheng. But the coffee shop got many usual ones. Even if not Jaehyun, there will be other who found the coffee addicting and will still come for it. It’s not like Sicheng can prevent everyone not to go to his coffee shop.

  
He felt pathetic, thinking about coffee shop gibberish. Dong Sicheng, what have you done to me?!


	32. Sicheng and his plan

“Now, can you tell me what it is all about? Did you two fight or something?” Kun looked at his phone that was ended by Jaehyun. This time, he understands Jaehyun more or less.

“NO.”

The answer was stiff, Kun noticed. He carefully looked at Sicheng who is not looking at him but his phone. His grip on the phone suddenly tightened. Kun looked over to see the screen.

 

The article was well-written. It is clearly focused on Sicheng. The 20 sec teaser sound really good too. Sicheng should be excited. He doesn’t know why Sicheng looked like he is about to faint on him.

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Kun asked again because he really didn’t know why and what is happening to Sicheng. Sicheng isn’t like this. If he doesn’t like something, he outright asked it whether it’s convenient or not.

 

“Are you coming with me to the bar?” Sicheng is not speaking, which is strange. He always speak and try to read lips usually. But today, he is into ASL.

“We are going? When?” So Kun signed back.

“Now. Come on.”

 

Kun decided to go since letting Sicheng go alone strike him as a bad idea.

 

After 10 minutes in the bar, Kun decided that he made the right choice by following Sicheng. Sicheng head straight to the counter. Kun can’t even count the shots Sicheng had been drinking by now. And he’s asking more.

Kun can’t even stop Sicheng. Kun decided not to. He is going to let him drunk and carried to home afterwards. That was his plan. Till those idiots came and ruined it.

 

“Sicheng.”

Taeyong had sense to touch Sicheng’s shoulder instead of wasting his voice. Sicheng looked back and saw them.

“What are you doing here?” Johnny asked. He didn’t mean to rude but seemed like Johnny offended the friend of Sicheng.

“I think it’s better to mind your own business.” Kun stood between Sicheng and Johnny. Kun knew he worked for Johnny’s family but it’s off-hour anyway.

 

“He doesn’t mean it bad. Chill.” Taeyong said as he put himself in front of Johnny.

“Who are you?” Kun snapped. He’s not having a good evening. He is supposed to look after Sicheng and get back home in peace.

“You guys, have some drinks. He’s my friend Kun. Kun, meet the singer, Taeyong, ex-boyfriend of Jaehyun and the best friend, Johnny.” Sicheng come up with two drinks in his hands as he gave them to Taeyong and Johnny. And he took one for himself.

“Drink up!”

 

It’s the worst version of Sicheng. He doesn’t stop drinking not he let the two stopped drinking. When Johnny slipped out, Sicheng doesn’t notice. He is forcing Taeyong to drink. Taeyong is already drunk and doesn’t resist anymore.

“Sicheng, aren’t you done yet?” Kun is getting irritated. He snapped when Sicheng throw himself at Kun and made him drink.

“Why? I am having a good time.” Sicheng is so drunk. Kun can see with the way he speaks. And his hands. His hands are at places Kun wanted him when in bed, not in public and in drunken state.

“Stop it.” Kun took Sicheng’s hands to stop. He took a deep breath. Sicheng right now is not his friend. There is something wrong with him. He had to bring Sicheng home.

 

Sicheng didn’t like to be stopped, it seemed. He moved away to get his shots. Kun sighed out as he followed.

“Why are you following me?” Leaning against the bar, Sicheng asked Kun.

“You are drunk.”

“So?” There, another shot.

“Sicheng, let’s go home. Don’t make it difficult.” Kun tried to take the shot in Sicheng’s hand away. He already told the bartender to stop giving him drinks.

“What is difficult?” Sicheng give the drinks up. But that means Kun’s hand is no longer able to stop Sicheng. Sicheng put his two hand at the back of Kun’s head and intertwined them. He stood so closed. Sicheng is coming closer and bringing his head a little down.

 

Kun couldn’t move. Not when Sicheng whom he is in love with secretly for many years is drunk and making a move at him. Next thing he knew, he is on the ground. The side of his face hurts and he is trying to make sense of the situation. Someone just punched him.

 

“What is this?”

“How long has it been going on?”

 

Kun saw the back of Sicheng. What’s going on? Who is shouting at Sicheng. He tried to get up a little but he hurt his head.

Kun is still in recovery state. He thought he saw Jaehyun. But he is not sure. When his head is no longer spinning he saw Jaehyun. What just happened?

Jaehyun kicked the chair out of his way. He glared hard towards Kun. He left as the security pulled him out. Kun looked up at Sicheng who is acting like nothing is wrong. But Kun can see it through.

 

“What have you done?” Kun gets up and he back himself up with a bar counter. Sicheng did not answer. Sicheng continued drinking at that spot Jaehyun left.

“I am taking revenge.”

“What?” This is new information Kun had to digest fast.

“Do you really think I would end up with Jaehyun after what his family done?” Sicheng face is hard and determined. It has been a long time Kun saw such expression on Sicheng face.

“But…”

“My sister, she is still in coma, half-dead. My parents…” It’s a wonder that Sicheng hasn’t been down yet. He has been drinking a lot tonight.

“Xiao Cheng. But Jaehyun didn’t do anything wrong.” Kun tried because Kun knew. Even though the fact that Sicheng is deeply in love with Jaehyun hurts him, he must try for the sake of Sicheng. He called himself loyal friend for nothing.

 

“I know. That’s why it hurts. But I have to do what I got to do.”

Sicheng voice shook at the end. Kun knew what’s about to happen next. He is about to hug Sicheng because he couldn’t bare to watch him cry.

Sicheng did not cry out. He just sat there, letting Kun comfort him.

Kun’s heart broke for seeing his very love, Sicheng’s heart broke.

 

~

 

As soon as Sicheng woke up, he looked at his phone. Usually, his phone is filled with notifications of Jaehyun, texting him, sending him pictures and many things. But it’s empty.

Like his phone, his heart is also empty.

 

He never knew he could do that. Yesterday’s night wasn’t his intentions but things worked out really well. He never knew he would bump into Johnny, Jaehyun’s best friend, Thus, Jaehyun will know he is out clubbing with Kun alone. The first step to make Jaehyun suspicious is already done in the earlier days.

This was a success. Sicheng thought sadly. The cold look in Jaehyun’s eyes last night still chill him to the bones. He had seen Jaehyun angry but never like this.

 

Sicheng mindlessly open the internet to see the news of his single. Jaehyun’s mother had promised him his single a huge hit. It’s funny. Sicheng didn’t even propose this condition but she thought it would matter to him.

 

 

He was speechless. Pre-order more than 500,000 copies? Jaehyun’s mother had overdone it. He looked at the comments. He is prepared to see the world react with negativity. But a lot… wow he did not even see a line of bad comment. Everyone is interested in his new single.

He is excited. He felt like talking about it to Jaehyun. But as soon as he thought of Jaehyun, his mother face came into his mind and all of his emotions numb down.

His mother had believe that Jaehyun would get over him eventually. She might be right. Who is he kidding? He is no one. Sicheng put his phone down. He get into covers again. All he could think right now is Jaehyun’s mother. How she wants him to break up with Jaehyun in exchange of everything. But Sicheng doesn’t want everything. Sicheng wants revenge. Sicheng wants her to lose her son.

 

Madam Jung has everything planned out and Sicheng is to follow. But Sicheng has his own plan.


	33. What is the truth?

**[CONTENTID1]**

“Jay”

“Shit.”

It has been a long time that Johnny been to Jaehyun house. Johnny is taken back by the mess Jaehyun made.

“Jaehyun! Jung Jaehyun!” Johnny shook Jaehyun since he didn’t get no response.

 

“ARE YOU ALIVE! JAEHYUN!” Johnny won’t stop till he got some sort of response from Jaehyun.

“Leave me.” A small voice from Jaehyun made Johnny stop.

 

Johnny never knew Jaehyun as a drinker. Jaehyun never really drink all the way. He drinks at bars and parties to act nice and that’s all. But seeing all the empty bottles of alcohol, Johnny knows for sure that Jaehyun is in heart-broken stage.

Johnny saw Sicheng tried to act up in front of Jaehyun. He is considering what he should tell to Jaehyun. He felt guilty because he is the one that called Jaehyun to the bar. He just want to ask what happened because Jaehyun won’t stay at home and letting his boyfriend alone to bar.

 

“So, last night…”

Johnny just started and Jaehyun got up immediately from the floor he had been drinking. He moved into his room, slammed the door shut.

“Fine.” Johnny shouted from the living room which Jaehyun probably won’t hear.

 

Johnny was resting after cleaning the mess in the living room. It’s not exactly cleaning but he at least put all the bottles to one place. Johnny put out his phone, he mindlessly scrolling down the news.

 

 

 

“Jaehyun… Holy shit.”

Johnny couldn’t believe his eyes. The news is trending. Johnny sat up and he hit on Jaehyun’s room. This is important.

“Jaehyun! Jaehyun! Come out!” Johnny is being really noisy, he knows but, he had to get Jaehyun out. Jaehyun doesn’t come out.

 

“JAEHYUN! SOMETHING HAPPENED TO SICHENG. COME OUT!!!” Johnny is really gonna bam on the door. But Jaehyun came out.

“What do I care?” At least, Jaehyun is alive. Not well, but alive. He has bags under his eyes. He hasn’t shaved. His physical is awful in overall.

“No, you have to…” Johnny should show him the article but the phone rang.

 

“Wait, it’s Taeyong.” Johnny have to pick the phone up since it’s Taeyong.

 

Jaehyun is going back into his room again like he doesn’t care but the fact that he opened his door at the mention of already give him out. Johnny went into Jaehyun’s room because he doesn’t want to be shutted out of the room again.

“Hey babe” Johnny is now tight with Taeyong. Jaehyun doesn’t know that yet but he forgot. But he saw Jaehyun didn’t even bat an eye at him calling Taeyong ‘babe’.

“You did WHAT?” Johnny cast an eye at Jaehyun. Jaehyun doesn’t mind him.

 

“Ok. You come over and talk to Jaehyun. I don’t want to be a part of that drama.” Johnny sighed. Taeyong is speaking a lot of non-senses that is far too complicated for his brain.

“But that drama started with you.”

“Huh?” This is the most ridiculous nonsense out of all nonsenses Taeyong had been saying.

 

“Ok. Like I said. Drama. Just get over here first. We will talk.” Johnny ended the call before Taeyong could say more. He got tired of drama fast. He is dramatic sometimes but for fun. Not for this… shit. He is more of a simple guy. If he likes someone, he chase. He doesn’t care for pretense and all those playing hard to get. But he turns out to dislike someone, he just cut all the ties.

He hates drama and he stopped dating girls since ages ago.

 

Johnny looked at Jaehyun who’s lying on bed, with alcohol on bedside.

“Are you sober yet? Why are you drinking again?”

Johnny asked even if he knew he is not going to get a reply. Johnny sighed and sat down besides his best friend.

“Did you see the news? The pre-order count is amazing.”

Still, nothing. Johnny never had talked to a statue or a wall before. But that’s exactly how he felt right now.

 

“Taeyong is coming. I could let him in right?”

“You want my ex to come here?” That was a D-move. Johnny glared at Jaehyun, throwing him a pillow.

“Such a jerky statement. Be nice. He’s mine now.” Johnny is surprised at himself. At the age of 23, he never been in serious relationship. He doesn’t know what Taeyong felt about him or this relationship. But what he felt for Taeyong is real.

 

“Last night… there might be some misunderstanding.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” The reply was sharp and cold. It’s a warning to stop. Jaehyun has always been this way. He is very… strictly personal about everything. And he’s intense. He exploded when he’s furious. He laughed non-stop when he found something funny. He is that kind of open-minded person.

 

The bell rang.

Johnny got up since he has been expecting Taeyong.

“Taeyong wants to talk to us about something important, do you want him to come inside or are you gonna come out?”

“About what?”

“Sicheng isn’t with Kun. Whatever you saw of them, it’s not the truth.” Johnny got out since it’s the 3rd time the bell rang already. Someone is impatient.

 

“Hey.” Johnny opened the door. He is opening his arms. Taeyong patted his shoulder for a second and went inside.

“It’s not the time. Where is Jaehyun?”

“In his room.”

Jaehyun came out of his room. Jaehyun wanted to know what Johnny is about to say. He needed to hear this. Jaehyun clearly saw how Sicheng’s body is pressed against Kun. He wanted to unsee this but he can’t. So out of anger, he punched Kun. Now that he is home and alcohol is clearing out of his system, he knows it’s not Kun that is trying to put his body with Sicheng. It’s Sicheng.

 

He wanted some explanation. He is thinking his brain out but he can’t. He tried his best to defend why Sicheng did this. But he is out of explanation.

“You need to explain more than that. What is not the truth?”

Jaehyun stood up in front of Taeyong. Johnny is right behind Taeyong.

“Everything! You might need to sit down first.” Taeyong sat down, pulling Johnny next to him.

 

“It’s… I don’t even know where to start. Did you date any girls in the past?”

“I am not sure how this concern with Sicheng or Jaehyun.” Johnny said defensively.

“Just answer! Johnny, I am not asking you to make trouble.”

“A lot. Of course, I told you I am bi.” Jaehyun smirked at that.

“Any Chinese?”

“What?” Johnny really is confused and flustered. Because he never thought this conversation would directed at him.

“Just tell me.” Taeyong is clearly impatient.

 

“I don’t even know why am I listening to you two love bickering.” It’s Jaehyun.

 

“Shuttup! Jay!” Johnny snapped.

“Ok. You are asking me a very personal question right now. I am free to talk about any of my past relationship with any other girls. But you are asking about one girl that I regretted dating. Yes, she’s the only chinese girl. I met her in Hong Kong. She and I were very intimate. But when she started to obsess over me, I dump her. We weren’t on the same page. She must have really fallen in love with me and I… I was just…”

 

“You were a douchebag. You dumped her. You ran away to Korea, right?” Taeyong face is clearly tainted with angry red.

“Chill. You two need to separate from each other.” Jaehyun felt like he needed to interfere or he won’t be able to hear why this case is connected to Sicheng. He pulled Johnny from his seat and exchanged.

“Taeyong, you too dumped me back then, remember?”

“It’s not the same!” Taeyong is about to cry. It is unfair that his situation is being compared to Johnny’s.

 

“What I see is the same. Johnny dumped her because he doesn’t love her while she loves him. I really did love you but you didn’t so you dumped me. What’s not the same?”

“I LOVED YOU. I…” Taeyong shouted but his eyes met with shocked Johnny’s eyes.

“I don’t need to witness this.” Johnny stood up.

“Johnny! Wait.” Taeyong catched Johnny. Johnny misunderstands.

 

“I said I loved Jaehyun. That was a long time ago. My heart has another one it likes right now.” Taeyong is holding Johnny’s hand with both of his hands. He is not letting Johnny go because he can’t. He did let go of Jaehyun’s hand regardless of his feelings. But he is not doing that again. He will not be doing anything against his feelings.

“Let’s sit down, alright?” Taeyong is pleading. Johnny gaze is now different.

 

“Jaehyun, you need to know something about what happened to us. But not right now. It doesn’t matter because now you are in love with another person and I’m with Johnny.” Taeyong is the one that is controlling the situation here. He is calmed.

“That girl, she is Sicheng’s only and only sister.”

“Who?” Johnny is confused and not able to accept.

“She… She really did fall in love with you back then. She was in accident when she wanted to follow you to Korea. But she wasn’t alone that got into accident.” Taeyong looked at Jaehyun who is slowing getting where Taeyong is pointing.

“Sicheng’s parents were death due to the accident and his sister is in coma.”

 

“Sicheng… it was Sicheng’s sister? Then… why? How did you know those things? Kun told you?” Johnny is shock but he managed to think, he is trying to think. Johnny knows what happened next.

Johnny’s mother is close to Jaehyun’s mother. Jaehyun’s mother promised to take care of his situation and she did. Johnny doesn’t know what had she done but whatever it is, it is done badly to Sicheng’s family.

 

“Kun doesn’t know how long has Sicheng knew of these connections but he suspected Sichenge knew longer than him. He knew when he saw Johnny and he saw Jaehyun’s mother.”

Jaehyun is finally connecting all the dots. That is why Kun asked him those questions. That is why…

Jaehyun’s head hurts. Why is this happening to him? HE needs to see his mother. He needs to ask Sicheng about those things.

Did Sicheng approach him…? No. Jaehyun rubbed his face. It can’t be. Jaehyun do not believe that Sicheng approach him just because he wanted revenge. They met by fate. This is not all lies. This can’t be lies.

 

Whatever Johnny and Taeyong said afterwards, Jaehyun did not hear any.


	34. Home is where you are

Everything is a blur.

After letting the truth sinked in, everything make sense to Jaehyun. Sicheng wanted to leave for Hong Kong. Sicheng tried to leave him. But Sicheng can’t. Jaehyun now sees things he neglected before. Sicheng loves him so instead of leaving Jaehyun, Sicheng made Jaehyun leave himself.

It’s cruel.

Now that Jaehyun knows, he regretted how he did not ask and make sure of the relationship between Kun and Sicheng. He only got himself to blame for things he wish he had done but didn’t.

 

Jaehyun is on his way to his mother. He decided who to see first. He choose his mother. He must know the past clearly. He had to know what his mother has done behind his back.

 

“I have to let you know this. Your mother make me break up with you. Now, I’m not blaming your mother but myself. I could have handle this better. I am sorry I hurted you back then.”

 

After hearing the hidden truth from Taeyong, Jaehyun couldn’t move. He can’t breathe. He really did think that he was so obsessed with Taeyong so that Taeyong got tired of him and dumped him. He was so heart-broken. But then, it was his mother who told him to take a break and have a trip. He did. He was so thankful for his mother who hadn’t asked what’s wrong but tried to comfort him.

He felt like being back-stabbed.

 

Now he entered his mother’s house which was the one he grew up. He dashed to his mother’s room without pausing for anything. His hand is on the doorknob, in second he is about to go in and face his mother.

 

“The Chinese kid kept his end of the deal. It seemed like young master Jung is no longer with him.”

“Then, the money is well-spent I must say.”

 

Jaehyun heard all these. He bit down his lips. He turn the door opened.

 

“What is this about?” His tone is demanding and harsh. No one speaks this way to Madam Jung. No one.

“You do not act with this attitude in my own house. Get out!” His mother did not even give him a damn as she tell him off. Jaehyun did not go away. He must get the answers, the confirmations today.

“I know what you did to the poor girl in Hong Kong! I know what you did to Taeyong to get him to break up with me! NOW… now what had you done to Sicheng? TELL ME!” All the control he had till now just lose. He yells in front of his mother, in front of her own staff. Jaehyun knows he’s being rude and disrespectful.

 

“I have nothing to say. You change your attitude and come back. Maybe then I will think of something to say. Take him out!” She said to the manager.

“Don’t touch me.” Jaehyun said in warning tone.

Jaehyun knows he won’t be able to get what he want in this way.

 

“Sicheng and me, we broke up.” He said, pushing the hand that is trying to constrain him.

“So?” Her mother did not even bat an eye.

“You did this, somehow.” Jaehyun is tired of his own mother’s lies but he is holding it

“I’m thankful for the credits but I know nothing of it.” Her lips form a subtle smirk and she looked at Jaehyun with challenging eyes.

 

“Why did you… I just heard what he reported to you!” Jaehyun pointed that manager and her mother.

“You kepting being rude and ruder. I have nothing else to say anymore, get out!”

This time, Jaehyun doesn’t resist. He wished he never come. His mother will never change, he knows for the fact.

 

He wants his Sicheng back. Sicheng loves him. That’s why Sicheng chase him away. But he loves Sicheng. Why should people who love each other stay away from each other?

He called Sicheng. It went straight to voicemail. He wondered where Sicheng has been staying?

Probably at Kun’s. Jaehyun now deeply regret that he didn’t ask for Kun phone number in case. Jaehyun called Johnny out of frustration.

Which Johnny also didn’t pick up.

 

Jaehyun helplessly hold his phone, not knowing what to do.

At that moment, his phone rang.

“You called?”

 

Thank God. Johnny called him back.

“Do you have Kun number?” It was desperate question. If Johnny says no, he is about to have a breakdown.

“I… I will look into it. Where are you?”

“I just… on the road. Kicked out by my mother.”

“Do you want me to pick you up?” Out of habit Johnny asked. It’s not that he still has feelings for Jaehyun or anything like that. But Jaehyun will always be his best friend.

Jaehyun hadn’t asked Johnny about Sicheng’s sister. Johnny is grateful for that. He told everything to Taeyong. They fought and they had makeup sex. It’s one of the best but he felt guilty for what he did when he was young.

Johnny can’t excuse himself just because he was young. He is not even that young. He has to take his own responsibility.

 

“Will you? No. Nevermind. I want to go to Sicheng.”

“I will text you Kun’s number. But you gotta wait a bit longer.” A sound of relief escape from Jaehyun.

“Thank you. Johnny. Really.” Jaehyun ended the call. He will wait. That’s the least he could do.

 

It’s better than nothing. It’s hell a lot better than nothing.

After waiting for the torturous minutes, a text from Johnny finally came in. He called immediately. Kun picked up at 2nd ring.

“Hello?”

“Do you know where Sicheng is?” Jaehyun doesn’t bother with introduction.  
“Is this Jaehyun?”

“I need to see him, Kun. Please tell me where Sicheng is.” Jaehyun almost beg. He is overwhelmed with emotions.

“I am not sure. Sicheng… he’s. Screw it. I’m gonna text you the address. Go there. Bring some food. He refused to eat yesterday. Take care of him ok?”

Kun ended the call as he text the location. Actually he’s right outside of Sicheng’s room. He thought he will have to cancel his schedules and take care of Sicheng. He wants to but it’s better if it’s Jaehyun.

 

Because Sicheng doesn’t want to talk to Kun either. After what he did at the bar, Sicheng said sorry and he explained why he did. But Kun doesn’t blame Sicheng. Kun knew what Sicheng went through.

Kun left the apartment. He doesn’t have to be there when Jaehyun arrived.

Kun really wished Sicheng to be happy. He really hoped Sicheng won’t drown himself in revenge and lose the one he really loves and who really loves him.

 

~

Thanks to Kun, Jaehyun enters the house with no difficulty. He rushed insides. Jaehyun can’t think straight. He already ordered delivery as he doesn’t have mind to buy a thing. He looked around the house as he shouted Sicheng’s name.

“Sicheng! Sicheng! Please come out.” He kept shouting even when Sicheng cannot hear him. It’s not that Jaehyun kept forgetting, it’s just only that Jaehyun never really mind if Sicheng is deaf or not.

 

He opened one door after one door. He even opened the bathroom’s door. Finally, he faced one last door. He knew at the moment he let his hand on the doorknob.

“Sicheng.” Jaehyun’s call was silent. He saw the thin figure under the blanket.

He did not called out as he wished not to disturb Sicheng. Jaehyun slowly get to the side of the bed. Sicheng was sleeping. His upper face was exposed. Sicheng has really pretty nose and eyelashes.

But…

 

Jaehyun looked closer. Sicheneg is trembling slightly. He looked at the air conditioner but it was off. The room temperature is warm. Two brows of Sicheng is frowning.

“Sicheng?” Out of worry, Jaehyun touched Sicheng’s forehead with his hand.

SHIT.

Sicheng had a fever.

“Why are you so stupid?” Jaehyun shook Sicheng to wake up. Sicheng fever is not small. His body is hot while he desperately hold onto that blanket.

 

Jaehyun had no idea where to find extra blanket so he started moving around the house, opening all the cabinet he saw. He took another two blanket from whatever room, he doesn’t remember. He put them on Sicheng.

Jaehyun never really took care of somebody like this but he had seen many.

He go grab a clean towel and a bucket full of ice. He need to take the fever down.

 

He can’t really resist coldness, especially his hands. But he doesn’t think of that. The moment his hand touch the icy cold towel, he felt the sharpness of cold. Jaehyun put the towel on Sicheng’s forehead.

Sicheng softly muttered that he’s cold. And a bunch of things in Chinese which Jaehyun doesn’t understand. He put his cold hands on Sicheng’s neck. Sicheng’s whole body is hot agaisnt his pair of cold hands.

 

Jaehyun took care of everything.

He changed Sicheng’s clothes. He grab the delivery but put aside on the counter of kitchen table.

It took 4 hours to take the fever down. Jaehyun’s hands are already numb from the cold. He couldn’t even move his finger.

 

Jaehyun looked at his phone screen, the clock is now showing as 8:38 pm. He did not want to go back. He reheat the food in microwave.

Jaehyun stared at Sicheng mostly besides taking care of him.

Whenever Sicheng starts to stir and wake up, Jaehyun tenderly patted on his head to soothe the worry he cannot see away.

When Sicheng seemed like he is in deep sleep, Jaehyun softly let his desires overcome him. He leave a soft kiss on Sicheng’s hair.

Everything about Sicheng makes Jaehyun’s heart vulnerable, like his whole heart is beating because of only person in front of him. Which is not making an sense but it definitely felt like it. His heart is hot, his blood warm.

Sicheng has such effects. He never knew.

 

~

He remembered being cold and being sick.

What he doesn’t remember is unfamiliar warmth on his belly. Someone is putting a hand, embracing him.

Sicheng looked down and saw the head, the hair he knew too well. It was Jaehyun.

 

The first instinct is to touch Jaehyun’s hand and feel the warmth more. Then, the realisation hit. His hand stopped moving under the blanket which is about to come out of cover and touch Jaehyun. Sicheng didn’t.

He does not know how Jaehyun is in here. But when he thought of that night, how Jaehyun was hurt by him, he can’t. He can’t do this to Jaehyun again.

He must get away from him.

 

Sicheng gets up from bed. Jaehyun was woken. As soon as Jaehyun opens his eyes, his hand reached for Sicheng. Sicheng is already up. He is feeling a little dizzy but he can stand.

When Jaehyun realized Sicheng is no longer underneath his hand, his eyes wander and met with Sicheng’s.

“Sicheng.”

“I don’t remember inviting you. Please go back.” Sicheng said as he walked away. If he does not look at Jaehyun, he won’t know what Jaehyun is saying. And if he did not see those eyes of Jaehyun, his heart won’t hurt so bad like right now.

 

Jaehyun couldn’t take this anymore. He hates being ignored. He hates being belittled. He hates being in the dark. Why Sicheng won’t say anything?

He quickly got up, grab Sicheng by his forearm and pulled into his chest. Jaehyun hugged Sicheng tightly as if Sicheng is about to disappear into the air.

“Please.”

Jaehyun softly but desperately muttered. Sicheng can’t hear but it’s the feeling the hug, the touch, and Jaehyun gives. Sicheng’s heart breaks a little more.

Slowly, Jaehyun pulled out Sicheng to see his eyes. Jaehyun obviously saw the emotions in Sicheng’s eyes.

 

“Now, I know everything. I know that you love me regardless of my mother. I love you, Sicheng.” Sicheng looked up at Jaehyun. It was quite relieving but at the same time troubling. If Jaehyun knows, he can’t no longer pretend.

“Please don’t punish me for what happened in the past. Please don’t punish us. We deserved another chance.” Jaehyun’s voice thick with emotions and his eyes are glossy with tears. Sicheng has one weakness. It’s Jaehyun.

 

“I am going back home. Tomorrow.” Sicheng said as a matter of factly.

“I love you. It doesn’t matter where, I would follow you. My place is where you are.” Those words naturally came out of Jaehyun’s mouth. He doesn’t need to think, the thought is already rooted in his mind.

“You would leave Korea? Everyone you know here? For me?”

It is something unthinkable for Sicheng. Jaehyun can’t speak Chinese for god-sake but he still would follow Hongkong for Sicheng? It shocked the heck out of Sicheng.

“Until I met you, my life never felt so complete. That feeling, Sicheng. That feeling… is irreplaceable.” Jaehyun slowly brought their lips to meet and kiss. Everything is in slow-motion when they met. The world is quiet and they are alone in this big, round world.

 

Jaehyun is right. That feeling is… strange. Sicheng smiled along when Jaehyun is looking at him smiling.

Jaehyun then, he quickly covered his mouth with his hand, eyes wide. He walked several steps backward.

“I haven’t brushed my teeth.” Jaehyun said carefully with dreadful expression.

Sicheng can’t help but laugh out. Jaehyun is just so cute sometimes.

“I know. You stinked!”

 

Sicheng laughing his ass out while Jaehyun ran into the bathroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, all  
> Thank you for being with me. I'm awfully slow update-r. Well, finally it comes to an end. That's it, Happy Ending. But you guys can expect a wrap (epilogue) maybe next week or something.  
> don't you all worry, I don't leave things hanging :)   
> comments are welcome =)


	35. Epilogue

Like everyone expects, Jaehyun followed Sicheng to Hong Kong 6 months ago. Kun hasn’t gone back. He has work at Johnny’s hotel. Because Johnny decided to make Kun his hotel lawyer. Both in Hong Kong and Seoul.

 

What about the families?

Johnny has already inherited more than half of his parents’ shares so, he can do anything he want. He contacted Jaehyun’s father who is in America, declaring he will stop all the future plans to working together. Jaehyun’s mother might have some authority in the absence of his father, but the one who is pulling the string is Mr. Jung.

 

“Why would you do that?” Jaehyun asked with a sigh on the phone.

“Well, my best friend is the one I wanna work with. Not the evil witch.”

Johnny is behind the desk of CEO now.

 

“You don’t really have to do this.”

“I know I don’t. But I did anyway. I am indebted to your boyfriend and his family.” Johnny said. A pair of warm hands touch his shoulders. Johnny doesn’t need to look behind to see who, it’s only Taeyong allowed in this room.

“Sicheng did not blame you anymore. He just… he’s just too stubborn. I already proposed to him. He said no. I mean, we obviously love each other.”

“But you can’t blame him, can you?” Johnny said, fully understanding Sicheng. Johnny knows why Sicheng is doing this. Sicheng still is guilty about his love life. Sicheng’s uncle and aunts doesn’t like Jaehyun. They never invited Jaehyun and Sicheng to their home.

 

“Yeah, I know Sicheng is still hurting. He might not show it but I can see it.” Jaehyun said with a weight of guilt insides.

“He’s gonna be fine. You’re with him.”

“Yeah, thanks man.” Jaehyun really appreciate everything Johnny did for him. Johnny basically support his life in Hongkong. Sicheng’s relatives doesn’t like Jaehyun after knowing what his mother did. So, he lives together with Sicheng. He can’t speak Chinese back then and he can’t find a decent job.

 

He is trying to compose music. As much as making music makes money, the process costs him a lot of money too. Johnny let him live off his fortune. 

“My accountant is handling the debt you had on me, so when you hit it big, you’re paying back with interest!” He never makes Jaehyun uncomfortable.

 

And when he got home, Sicheng is waiting with the dishes he prepared.

Jaehyun’s heart felt the warm feeling when he saw Sicheng as soon as he opened the door. It’s something he can’t exchange with any rich in life. He needs Sicheng.

 

“Are you waiting for me to eat together?” Jaehyun signed to Sicheng as he now know how to.

Sicheng smiles.

“Your father is here!” He signed back. Jaehyun is confused. He thought he was mis-translating the sign but when his stare divert from Sicheng, he saw another familiar figure standing up and coming towards him.

 

“Dad?” Jaehyun questioned with perplex expression. His father is in suit like always. He looked for a luggage but he doesn’t see one. Seemed like he’s not staying.

“I don’t have time. Let’s talk.”

“You don’t have to leave.” Jaehyun signed to Sicheng who stood up to give them privacy.

“I’m fine. You two talk. I don’t have to know.” Sicheng signed back and he went into his room.

 

“You mother is making a fuss about disowning you as her son and stuff. You already knew right?”

“Why are you here?” Jaehyun doesn’t want to discuss the inheritance nor his mother. He just wanted to have the simple meal with Sicheng and he wants his father gone.

“I am on your side. I am gonna divorce her if she doesn’t come to her sense soon.”

“What? Dad, you can’t divorce Mom.”

“I am gonna announce you my one and only heir. If she is against it, she can do whatever she wants.”

“Is it about Johnny?”

“Partly true. But I am getting tired of your mother and her nonsense bullshits. I am not letting this project passed by my grasp just because of her ridiculous shits.”

“I am not a businessman. I want to make music.”

“You can lead the business and you also can do what you like at the same time. I am not a dictator like your mother.”

Jaehyun doesn’t know what to feel about this new information. He knows as the only son, he has to continue his family business. And the offer is attractive. As long as his father is here, he doesn’t have to act like a CEO and lead the business.

 

“We can discuss about future another time. This time I come, I wanted to bring you back to Korea. Your lover can come. I am not against your love life. Because I hope you won’t make a mistake like I did. Marrying your mother.”

“Is it true then? The rumor of you living together with another man.”

“His name is Kim Jae Joong. I will introduce him to you if any chance.” His father smiled softly at the mention of the name. Jung Yunho, CEO of Jung Music Production, never smiled in his entire marriage.

Jaehyun believed his father.

 

“Thank you for coming. I… Maybe I will come back home.”

“The Jung Manor is your mother’s. But you can stay in your apartment. Tell your friend, Johnny! My manager is gonna contact him soon.”

Jaehyun just nodded with a laugh. His father seemed relaxed and determined.

It’s not that he hated his mother. He loved her, once. But eventually he stopped. Because it’s toxic. His mother actions are something he will never accept if they were of someone different.

 

Sicheng came out after his father left.

“Has your father gone?”

“Yes.”

“What did he say?”

“He said come back to Korea.”

“Oh…” Sicheng said out loud. Sicheng doesn’t want to know and he regretted that he asked. Mr. Jung is nice. He can see because he complimented the house as he soon as he stepped in.

“He said come to Korea with you.”

“Oh… w-wait, what?” Sicheng can’t believe. He didn’t dare believe because it shouldn’t be this way.

 

“My father is not against us.”

“Are you sure? Because your mother…”

“He’s divorcing her.”

“WHAT?” Sicheng can only handle so much surprises. He doesn’t know the marriage was that bad.

“He just...  I think, it’s complicated.”

“How’s your mother?”

“I don’t know. She’s stubborn. With her personality, they might be even need to stand trial. I don’t think she’s gonna sign on the divorce paper.”

Sicheng nodded.

 

“Do you wanna come to Korea with me?”

“I don’t know. It’s so sudden.”

“I…” Jaehyun brought out the square velvet box that’s big enough to hold a ring.

 

“Sicheng, I love you.” Jaehyun doesn’t knelt down. Instead, he hugged Sicheng.

“I don’t think I can live without you. If you are not going to Korea, neither I am. I am gonna stay here by your side, forever.”

 

Jaehyun pulled apart. He looks down at Sicheng who’s slightly crying.

“Do you want us to be forever?” 

Jaehyun knelt then. He looked up at Sicheng, begging him to accept the ring.

“Yes.”

Sicheng sobbed. He hugged Jaehyun and both of them fall over the ground.

 

“Really?” Jaehyun was ready for another rejection.

“And no.”

 

“What? Sicheng is on top of Jaehyun as Jaehyun’s back flat on the floor.

“Yes, I want to spend my forever with you. No, I am going to Korea with you.”

“You’re not lying, right? You mean it, right? Sicheng… thank you.” 

Jaehyun kissed Sicheng’s lips with so much passion and their position changed and Jaehyun is on top.

“You can’t go back on your words.”

“I know. What’s with you.” Sicheng laughs with tears in his eyes. Seeing Jaehyun so happy, Sicheng kinda regretted why he didn’t agree earlier.

 

“I love you, so much.”

“I love you too. So much more.”

 

It doesn’t matter who claimed to love more. Because they are both in love. That’s what matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY! I uploaded the epilogue that's due for so long.
> 
> Thank you for all the support. They are what makes me keep going.
> 
> #JaeWin will lives on.


End file.
